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    Miscarrying again(Triggs)
    ani05 posted:
    Last night I was having some mild cramping,well I thought this could be normal,I took it easy, stayed in bed and after a couple of hours I got up went to bathroom and the bleeding had already started.I was up all night the pain was so bad, worse than my first m/c,I didn't sleep at all.
    I got up in the morning,called the Dr,they had me go in right away.The Dr. did an u/s and we saw the baby but no heartbeat this time.
    I am going back in two weeks for a check-up and the Dr. said she has a long list of lab tests for me.She said will do the ones that can be fixed easy with medications and we are not going to waste time on the ones that we can't do anything about them.
    I am so sad,tired,angry,empty inside.I really don't know how to better explain how I feel ladies.I was worried that I was going to m/c again but I was also hopefull.I'll probably going to be away for awhile b/c I am not sure that I want to try again after this time.We are discussing it but we haven't decided yet.If we decide to stop trying I won't go in for more testing.Thanks a lot ladies and Good Luck to all of you.
    Ani(30),DH(31),DD(5).BFP on 03/02/2011,M/C on 03/11/2011.BFP on 04/12/2012.Praying for a sticky baby.
    britt200408 responded:
    I am so, so sorry. My heart breaks for you, Ani. I can't even imagine what you must be going through. I understand not wanting to try again...DH and I have talked about what we will do if we have another m/c and I think we would definitely stop trying at that point. Hopefully the lab tests can at least give you some kind of closure.

    Take care of yourself. You know we're always here if you need someone to talk to or just need to vent.
    Brittanie(24), DH Josh(25), DS Jacob(3). BFP 10-01-11, m/c 11-11-11
    michelle063007 responded:
    Ani, I am so sorry. I unfortunately know all too well how you feel--you dont have to try to explain. I also know how you feel about not knowing if you want to try again. I felt like "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me" I felt embarrassed and like a fool. Plus seeing the heartbeat gives you a sense of hope and then you feel robbed. We saw it twice before I miscarried. It took a little while, but we decided to try again and I hope you get some answers from the tests and decide to try again too. From the books I've read at least 75-80% of women who have recurrent miscarriage go on to have full term healthy pregnancies. I know you are feeling cheated right now but with time you will start to feel better. Take care.
    Me (28), DH (34), TTC since 7/10, BFP 6/5/11, m/c 6/25/11, BFP 8/27/11, m/c 9/8/11, BFP 2/7/12, m/c 3/30/12
    vybe77 responded:
    Ani- I'm so so sorry that you are here again
    I unfortunately understand what you are feeling and going through but at the same time I'm thinking how worse it must be to see that heartbeat and then have this situation happen again..I never got to see any heartbeats so I can just imagine for that part..
    I hope the testing that will get done will bring you back results that can help you and your hubby move on from these experiences with better knowledge of what is going on and why it is happening and what can be done to remedy it..
    I too feel the same about trying again..on the one side I want nothing more than to have another but on another I am so scared of m/c again I keep thinking maybe we should cut our losses now..personally I already have kids so I guess it would not be so bad if we cannot have another but the feeling of wanting to be pregnant again (all the way til the end) still lingers with DF really wants us to have another..honestly if he didn't boost me sometimes I would have given up on ourselves a while back..but I certainly understand Michelle's fool me once, fool me twice...
    ((hugs)) Ani..I hope your time away from us will be healing and bring you some peace..we are always here if you want to chat..
    Drop us a line sometimes..
    Til we see you again..
    Mom of 4 hopes to have 1 more
    ani05 responded:
    I couldn't leave you ladies without saying thank you very much for your really kind and understanding words.
    All I want to do is cry,DD was holding the u/s picture in her hands all afternoon and saying:"I guess I won't have a brother or a sister".
    We did decide to do the testing even if we stop ttc,we just want an answer to why my body is such a failure.
    I will be checking up on you ladies b/c you have been a very important part of my life for the last year and I wish you nothing but happiness, lots of BFPs and H&H 9 months.(((HUGS)))
    Vicky:yes, you do have 4 wonderful kids but it doesn't mean that you need to stop ttc if you want to add another little one to your family.You are a strong lady,I know you won't give up.Good Luck.
    Ani(30),DH(31),DD(5).BFP on 03/02/2011,M/C on 03/11/2011.BFP on 04/12/2012,M/C on 05/02/2012.
    prayforamiracle responded:
    Oh Ani, I'm so so sorry. I'm just so brokenhearted for you. You have been through so much and have been waiting so long for another baby. I'm just sick that this has happened and wish I could do something to comfort you. I'm glad you will be doing the labs, hoping it will be something easily fixed. In all honesty, I hope you return to us. That's just me being selfish. I would miss you terribly. You have been such a supporter for all of us. I so appreciate all your support and encouragement. Sending you tons of hugs and tears.
    Prayforamiracle-Me(37)Dh(44)TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in miscarriage in 7/07. Dealing with MFI. Anovulatory and irregular cycles due to PCOS. 1st IUI 1/12=BFN, 2nd IUI 2/12=BFN
    teacherbeck responded:
    ((((Hugs)))) Ani. I am so sorry (((hugs)))
    Becky(31) DH(38); 1 furbaby: Clark Kent

    TRIGGS: After 1yr TTC bfp april '09 lost @ 20wks precious Jackson 8-06-09
    TTCAL grad, sweet Juliet born 12-10-10 Praise God!
    hgreenwood7058 responded:
    hugs ani i am so sorry. I just read the post. I was wondering how you were. I am thinking of you.
    Heather(24),DH Lee(25)PCOS w Hemmoragic cysts. BFP:1/23/11 M/C 2/10/11. BFP 08/13/11. EDD 4/17/12-Team Blue!. Hope this LO will stick
    Mercerswife responded:
    Ani- I am so sorry for your loss. I know a 1st m/c was hard, but the second is even harder. I will keep you in my prayers for healing and strength.
    Lacey 24,DH 25 TTC 1st- 2 m/c 07/08-11/11, Round 5 Clomid (1st on 100mg) DH SA Good, HSG 2/15

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