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jhetsmom posted:
I am waiting for my first cycle since my ectopic pregnancy ended 04/13. DH seems ready to go on TTC immediately. I am apprehensive. As if having bipolar isn't bad enough, the miscarriage devastated me. We had been trying since 07/11 to conceive. I started vitex supplements in 01/12. I'm back on the vitex and still taking the prenatals. I was advised to wait 2 cycles before trying. I wanted to get some insight from the ladies on here cause who better to ask than women in my shoes. How did you conquer the fear of TTC again? Some days I have no problem, others I feel bombarded by pregnancies and babies and it makes me feel empty inside. I have no other emotion to describe it except jealousy. I dont think that accurately describes what I am feeling because jealousy is described as wanting for yourself and not for others. I do want others to have that joyful love inside them. I'm just confused about why it was taken from me. I am confulous or jealry. And to be fair I am only angry with the women who take for granted their pregnancies. 9 months. You only have to sacrifice for 9 months to ensure your child has the best start. You can't quit smoking or drinking for 9 months how will you sacrifice the rest of your life for that child?
Enough of my ranting. My point is just to get opinions. How long did you wait before trying again? How did you approach your apprehensions with conceiving? Did anyone have intimacy issues following the M/C? Any other advice would be appreciated.
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MelBrody responded:
Hello, everyone on here will tell you that the jealousy thing is very common and we all tend to feel it in one way or another. It is just a blaring reminder that life is not fair and it ticks us all off! So give yourself a break on that you are just gonna feel what you feel.
As for trying again it is hard to decide when to start again. Doctors will tell you to wait for sure but then you will hear from many people that they got pregnant right away and everything was fine. My advice would be if you feel ready to go for it. But if you are still healing then give yourself some time. You have to take care of yourself first & foremost. Good Luck!
Me(28) Hubby(27) M/C due to Blighted ovum October 11.
BFP! April 2012!
 
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TeacherBeck responded:
I waited a while before TTC again, about 5 months. I wanted to be past his due date (we lost him @ 20 wks).
Honestly, I had a hard time with intimacy for a few months after. For so long it had been connected to making a baby (we'd been TTC for about a year before we got pg with him). So it was hard to mentally switch over to just it being a normal thing, and then again to start thinking about another baby. My DH was ready to TTC again before I was ready. I told him how I felt and we agreed to table it for a month and talk again. Then I told him I felt I wanted to wait until after the EDD and he understood. Just keep the communication open and let him know if you are not ready. Its OK to not be ready, but its Ok if you are ready, too!
Jealousy- YES. And you put it very well. Its not that I didn't want wonderful things for my friends & family, but it just hurt so much that I was being denied that. It was very difficult. It was a few months before I could be around pg women and about a year before I held anyone else's baby!! And as a teacher, I saw so many children ignored & taken for granted while I was trying to hard just to have one!
((((hugs)))). Feel free to post anytime you need to vent, need info, or just need a listening ear!
Becky(31) DH(38); 1 furbaby: Clark Kent

TRIGGS: After 1yr TTC bfp april '09 lost @ 20wks precious Jackson 8-06-09
TTCAL grad, sweet Juliet born 12-10-10 Praise God!
 
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michelle063007 responded:
I'm sorry for your loss. This is a terrible thing to go through and it is completely unfair. I guess it just makes us more appreciative when we do get our babies. I completely understand the whole jealousy thing and it does make me so mad to see people get pregnant so easily and take it for granted. I just feel confused--if they can do it, why not me?

As for waiting time, after my first m/c one doctor told me to wait 3 months. That crushed me becasue I felt ready right away. Then the doctor who did my D&C said we could try right away (after 2 weeks from D&C since no sex is allowed). I got pregnant about 2 months later and m/c again...but plenty of people go on to have successful pregnancies right away so I dont think that happened b/c it was too soon. We tried right away again after that and it took about 5 months. I had a 3rd m/c and now am waiting one cycle becauce they are finally doing some testing and I have to be in a "non-pregnant state" for the tests. But once I get my period back the doctor said I could try again. I think it depends a lot on who you ask and how you feel. I would take into consideration what your doctor says and of course how you are feeling. I would not say there were intamacy issues, but we have to use condoms for right now and I hate it...it is a terrible feeling to want a baby so bad and actually take measures to prevent it. Hopefully soon we will be back to ttc and I hope you are as well and get your BFP!!
Me (28), DH (34), TTC since 7/10, BFP 6/5/11, m/c 6/25/11, BFP 8/27/11, m/c 9/8/11, BFP 2/7/12, m/c 3/30/12


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