Trying to Conceive: After Loss Community
Making the decision to try again after a lost pregnancy can be hard. Get ... more
i feel (and i can ONLY ONLY ONLY ever tell you ladies this) that i am not the mom i should be to my daughter because a part of me was lost that day as well. i have prayed so hard to "get over it" and it has definately gotten easier, but on days like today...i feel like she should have better. i love her soooo much, but i can't help but look in her eyes and see the baby i lost. i look at her nose and see how "fishie"'s nose was turned up like hers. i can't help but hold her and cry and wonder what fishie would be like at the age she is now.
i know that without the loss, i would have never been able to have her. that fishie was not her, and she is not fishie's replacement.
i have definately grieved but today has been so hard.
I feel like as time passes we do get better but we never forget especially during loss aniversary and due date,that's when it gets very hard emotionally.Right now I am thinking that my baby from my first loss would have been 11 months old. Hopefully you feel a little bit better.
I sometimes feel guilty for being sad about ^jackson^ when I have my sweet girl, other times I feel guilty when I DON'T feel sad, b/c I feel like I should be more sad at times, if that makes any sense. Emotions can be so tricky, be kind to yourself however you feel. (((hugs)))
TRIGGS: After 1yr TTC bfp april'09 lost @20wks precious ^Jackson 8-06-09^ TTCAL grad, sweet Juliet born 12-10-10 Praise God! Baby 3 BFP May 2012 due Jan 2013
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