Trying to Conceive: After Loss Community

oh no I pray that everything is alright with you...

Just to update for tonight I am indeed m/c..

Oh,so sorry Vicky! My heart goes out to you.I know there is nothing that I can write in here that will make you feel better but know that I am thinking of you.(((HUGS))) friend.

I am so sorry that you have to endure this heartache once again. My thoughts and prayers are with you, I hope you are able to find peace and comfort soon.

Hugs to you, momma.

I am so sorry, Vybe. (((((hugs))) My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Oh Vicky, I'm so, so sorry. (((HUGS)))

What? I don't understand, how everything could be okay this weekend and now this. I'm so, so very sorry this is happening. Just know that we are all here for you. Thinking of you and sending lots of hugs.

Hugs. I hope they actually figure out whats going on instead of just pushing you aside. You know I am here and on FB if you ever need to talk

I am so sorry. You are in our thoughts and prays. Are they going to do some testing so you might get some answers? Please KUP on wants happening.

Ladies, it warms my heart to see how much you all care..thank you so much xo
I do not understant either how things could be fine last weekend and then fall apart so quickly three days later..what gets to me the most this time is that it's tiny little heart was beating and something happened for it to stop..
I feel such guilt towards this child because now I am really thinking that it's something about myself that caused this (and probably all the other times too) and if someone had been willing to do their jobs after the first or even the second time, I might not be here right now..
I went in to see my OB Friday and I got to meet yet another resident OB instead because I was scheduled into the emergency clinic so I got to see whichever was available..my OB was there and did come in to consult with the resident but all in all I ended with a family Dr. The resident is 2 yrs away from being a full fledge Fam/OB so she can take care of all my needs, so no more seeing different Dr's everytime I go in..
that was the first good news..
The second is that she is sending me to do a ccomplete check to see what could be causing me to m/c..I already went in on Fri. to draw some blood for thyro?d and to check that my levels are going down properly..I have another u/s next Fri. to check that BB and everything else has passed also..I go back later in Nov. to discuss what I want to do after the testing...I did talk to her already about wanting to explore the possibility of getting the tubal done and she wants me to take my time making this decision..she says she understands that right now I may not want to think of trying again but that this may change in the next few months..she wouldn't want me to realise I still do want to try once the tubal is done so she is asking me to really think about it objectively..SO wants us to try again and it's not that I don't want to it's being afraid to.. maybe I just have to be thankful for what I already do have (my 4 wonderful, healthy kids) and moving on to other things...
So I don't know where I am heading with this yet..time will tell.
Physically it was scary on Hallowe'en night and into the night until 4am..I bled a whole lot and passed a huge amount of tissue..I almost called an ambulance to take me in to the ER but it finaly subsided and now there is just like AF..I am very crampy today though and my lower back hurts too..
Emotionally I took it much better than my last two losses..SO took much harder this time..
I am just feeling let down and in such darkness about why, WHY this happened again?? I saw it's little heart beating just three days prior..it measured fine, HCG was beautiful and then..WHY??
So I am doing the testing and hoping they find a reason..
We are also lucky to be living in the one province in Canada where it is covered (on our health cards) to go for two complete rounds of fertility treatments to help us to have another child..but we will see about that too..
I appreciate each and everyone of you ladies..thank you for being here xo

I have been thinking about you a lot Vicky. You are so strong for going through all of this and still finding the time to keep us posted and thanking us.
It is very hard seeing the heartbeat and feeling so hopeful one day and m/c a few days later. That's what happened to me both times,everything was well,saw strong HB and both times I m/c the day after my u/s.
I am glad the Dr decided to order the tests,I really hope you'll get an answer. I wish you the best.