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first pregnancy, first lost
angelalilly08 posted:
Hello everyone! I hope everyone is doing great out there. I am new to this, but realizing that I am not coping with my loss, I need someone to talk to that knows what it feels like to lose a pregnancy. I found out I was expecting on a Tuesday 2/26/13 and on Thursday I noticed spotting, by the end of the day I was in the ER and they confirmed I was miscarrying, I was exactly 5 weeks. I have not decided if I wanted to start trying again, we weren't trying the first time, but now after this experience I want to. This was my first pregnancy so I had a lot of worries and thoughts, but after going through the natural miscarriage, I am even more worried that something could be wrong with me, my body. infertility runs in my family, and I really want to have kids, and this only added to my fear that I may not be able to have kids.. all I got from my dr was that this is normal, and that most likely there was a chromosomal issues that made my body naturally miscarry. this is obviously not enough for me, I need answers or at least comfort from people other than family members, who never gone through this and my dr who doesn't help in my need for answers! if anyone out there can share their comfort or reassurance to me that would be greatly appreciated.
I am so very sad still, two months later, I am deathly afraid of this happening again and of the possibility that this is a sign that not all is good with me. I just hope to one day have a child, and this is just really killing me.
babyj1017 responded:
Hi Angela.... First off, I am so very sorry for your loss. But, you have definitely come to the right place for comfort and support. The women on this board are simply amazing.

The advice I would give is to not dwell on the reason. Many, many women who experience an early pregnancy loss never get an answer. It's just too early to tell. And most likely chromosomal. I had two losses last year, didn't get a reason with either one of them. My OB offered to perform the Recurrent Pregnancy Loss panel of tests after my second loss (some OBs won't until you've had three losses) just for my peace of mind, and all of my tests came back normal... nothing even questionable at all.

The hardest part is accepting you will never know. What you need to do now is grieve. Take the time to heal emotionally. After the pain starts to subside, your fear of losing another baby will turn into hope of bringing home a baby and you will feel ready to try again. Not saying you won't be nervous.
Jenny (32), DH (35), DD (7/2006), DS (6/2008), m/c (6/2012), m/c (9/2012)
ani05 responded:
So sorry for your loss.We all understand what you are going through especially not knowing why it happened. I have had two miscarriages and done all the tests and just like Jenny everything came back normal and my Dr said just keep trying again and that gave me hope.Big hugs coming your way and hopefully soon you'll bring home a little one.
Ani(31),DH(31),DD(6),Furbaby(3).TTC for baby no.2 since 05/2009.BFP on 03/02/2011,M/C on 03/11/2011.BFP on 04/12/2012,M/C on 05/02/2012.
michelleloehr2 responded:
Three years ago we lost our first pregnancy at about 6 weeks. It passed naturally. My OB at the time told me the same thing that yours told you. It wasn't comforting.

I spent the next month breaking down at random moments. I could barely make it through the work day (there were two pregnant ladies in my office). I know it doesn't feel like it now but the pain does lessen in time.

I was lucky. I got pregnant with my daughter just a few months later. My daughter is a happy, healthy two year old. With this being your first loss, the odds are in your favor that your next one could be just fine to.

I know it is easier said than done, try not to dwell on the what if's. I found the ladies on these boards to be some of the most caring and understanding people I had ever "met." Over the next few weeks/months feel free to come here and share with us all your feelings. Trust me no matter how alone you feel, you'll find someone here that has a similar story to tell
bamagrl714 responded:
WOW! U don't know just how similar ur story sounds like my own! Except my miscarriage was an " ectopic preganacy." It's basically where it was stuck in my tubes, and I was etimated to be 10-12 weeks along, And had NO CLUE!! to this day ( 2years later) I can't figure out if it's best I didn't know or would it have been easier on me & my husband if we known I was Preg.? I'd like to tell u that it gets easier with time, but I can't! I guess it all depends on you as person and just how bad/good you are taking the situation! I know for myself, it hasn't been the greatest 2yrs, emotionaly, physically, or even marriage wise! 1st few months: I laid around cryin, sleepin, eating everything I could. Almost 1yr after: I got to where I wanted to talk about it! I did too, lookin back I must have talk to everyone about all the time. That's all I talked about, it's like I was in my own way tryin to figure out any clues I could as to WHY it happened to me? For a while I thought I was getin out of my SLUMP/ DEPRESSION, but I'm back there again & have been for past 6months!! Keep thinkin I should've been preg. AGAIN by now! WHAT'S WRONG W/ ME? Or is my husband? What can I do? If anybody can help/ give advice PLSE HELP ME?!!

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