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I feel like a terrible friend
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WisGirl24 posted:
My husband and I have been TTC for 8 months although I have been off of the pill for just over a year. We found out in January that I was pregnant, but I had a miscarriage a few short days later. I thought for sure I was pregnant last month - but no such luck. A friend of mine from out of town sent me an email earlier today announcing her pregnancy and I started to cry - unfortunately they weren't tears of joy. I know she hasn't been trying very long to get pregnant, and I feel like a terrible friend because I don't feel the least bit happy for her. I'm jealous, bitter, envious...you name it. This is the first time where I have actually cried over someone else getting pregnant. I am hoping that others out there have felt this way because I am feeling like a really rotten friend.
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WisGirl24 responded:
I should also add that I have had several failed attempts with Clomid (I didn't ovulate until day 29!!!) and am now trying Femara to help shorten my cycles. It's just frustrating that it can be such a piece of cake for some and almost a nightmare for others. I also spent the first day of my period last month in the ER because I had such terrible pains and cramps and they figured I had a cyst that ruptured.
 
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Peterson_C_1989 replied to WisGirl24's response:
I wouldn't call you a horrible friend I have been in the same boat and done the same thing. My hubby and I have been TTC for 1 year, a single friend of mine that I have known since birth just had her first child. When I found out she was pregnant I cried and held in so much resentment and jealousy, it is saddly still kinda there, I can't talk to her without being upset. I don't know if its jealousy, envy or what, I just get upset when I see or talk to her. I hate it that some people are able to get pregnant so easily and take their child(ren) for granted and don't deserve them and then those who will be good parents have the hardest time to become one. I have been getting really upset at the people that already have kid(s) and are complaining how hard it is to have another one!!
 
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WisGirl24 replied to Peterson_C_1989's response:
Thanks! That makes me feel like I'm not an evil peson. What I wouldn't give to just experience pregnancy and being a mother just ONCE. A friend of mine (now mother of 3) was trying to comfort me after my miscarriage and shared her own personal experiences with miscarriage after her 2nd was born and I just wanted to say, "But you already had two at home. It's not the same!" Another "friend" thought it was so funny that a friend of hers had an "oops" and is now pregnant with their 3rd child. I just wanted to get up and leave because all I was thinking was, "Why is that funny? I'd give anything to be in her shoes right now!"
 
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Peterson_C_1989 replied to WisGirl24's response:
You're welcome. I totally understand where you are comnig from and how you feel, I go through it a lot too. I have not had a miscarriage (luckly) and I don't know how hard that would be, I'm sure its horrible. I don't wish that on anyone! My heart goes out to you!! Good luck with trying, and you're not evil just normal.
 
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curiousnmo responded:
I totally get where you are coming from.. I have done the same thing in the last year a couple times. My sister got pregnant with her third when I started trying ...which made me very mad.. I was very happy for her at the same time.. but I was SO jealous. 4 girls I work with got pregnant.. non of them wanted the baby or were trying.. and a few months ago after trying for a year my friend that has 3 other children and had started trying for less than a month told me she was pregnant. I started crying at work. I couldn't help it.
 
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ToBeOrNot replied to curiousnmo's response:
I agree. I have stopped looking at Facebook, or going to parties, to avoid seeing people who are pregnant or have babies.
 
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curiousnmo replied to ToBeOrNot's response:
Yes and now on facebook there are 4 different pregnancy counters going on at the same time... I think that means time to HIDE POST lol at least for a while.. I'm happy for them really it's just hard to see some days
 
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ToBeOrNot replied to curiousnmo's response:
It definitely is hard to see. And, I have hidden posts from some friends. I feel bad, but that is the best thing for my emotional health right now.
 
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curiousnmo replied to ToBeOrNot's response:
i agree
 
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nordygirl33 responded:
You are by no means alone. Although I didn't have a MC (which I am so sorry you did) I have 8 close friends including my younger sister all who are expecting this year. When I hang out with them I feel so alone and left out. All they ever tell me is "this is your month, don't stress, be positive and so on. I put a smile on every time when I am around them , but my heart is breaking on the inside just like you. My wedding anniversary is coming up on June 12th of this year and I will be spending that day at my best friends baby shower. I am very happy to celebrate with her, but why on my 1 year anniversary:( Anyway just know you aren't alone and we are all here going through similar situations if not the same. I wish you lots of baby dust


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