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    MAY DAY ,MAY DAY -40 Yr Old starting to lose Hope
    trinionboard posted:
    Hi everyone am 40 will be 41 yrs in Sept want a baby so bad .Tried and lost had a miscarriage was terrified .Now am Ready its like My Boyfriend and I have'nt gotten down the timing right.I say to him its when am ovulating we should be more aggressive at baby making you know when your fertile to really ,really fertile.He says it should be 3 days after period and thereafter up until am really,really fertile.
    I think he enjoys putting in all the hard work attached to starting our family.Am 28 days regular with 5-6 day flow.
    Which one of us is wrong and if we both are .Please help us with the right way to start our family.
    By the way we both got checked out all is well with us i just think we are jumping the gun or giving false starts at the races.
    WE Need HELP
    jenkoelenko responded:
    A couple things to think about:
    1. you want to keep your BFs sperm count both fresh and regularly producing good quality. Usually Drs recommend every other day, especially around ovulation ( I would say that he's closer to right.... sorry )
    2. do you know for sure if you're actually ovulating?
    3. (a suggestion) I know that it is really hard, what you're going through!! Its frustrating, but I'd really encourage you to enjoy the ride (no pun intended). We've been ttc for over 5 years now, and it has been stressful to an extreme, for both of us. One thing that has really helped us through this was sometimes stepping back, and enjoying "the practice"
    blueeyebaby responded:
    I replied to one of your other posts so sorry if this is a repeat.
    First off Baby Dust to you!!

    Secondly, the best time to get preggers is at ovulation. Have you ever used opk (ovulation predictor kits) to see when you actually ovulate? Typically in a 28 day cycle you would O around cd 14 but everyone is different. The Kits can help you figure out when you O, and in turn when you have the best chance of getting preggers. Sperm last up to 72 hours inside a woman so if you start bedding every other day once your AF or aunt flo(period) ends, you get optimal chances. Test with OPK and once you get a positive (some people have to test twice a day to catch the surge around the time they think it may happen) you will O within 24 to 36 hours. It is best to bed with in those 24-36 hours but if you bed early by a day and for some reason are not able to bed right after, it is still possible to get preggers.

    Thirdly, have you talked to your dr? How long have you been trying? Have they done any testing to make sure your hormones are changing properly through your cycle? It takes time for a normal woman to get preggers (dont' remember the actual percent chance each month) and if there is a issue with either the woman or man that percentage can go down. But many issues can be fixed if they are detected.

    Best thing I would suggest is to get some OPK kits (noted above is a web site or you can go to the store by the preg test/condoms and get a kit (about $20 for 20 answer strips and more expensive for the digital/easier to read tests). Test and see how your cycle runs. If you are consistant two months in a row, you can assume each month is the same and just keep track. My dr says to bd (bed) every other day to optimize potency of the male sperm (and since it lasts a few days it covers the day off from bedding). If you are still not getting preggers talk to your dr to see if they can test your hormones or test to see if your tubes are blocked. Even get a sperm analysis on your man to make sure his counts are good.

    Baby dust to you and please keep us posted!!
    Mary(31), DH(31)
    trinionboard replied to blueeyebaby's response:
    Thank You Blueeyebaby..For all your great tips and info .Yes girl i am ovulating or i should say i ovulate .I am really going to get the OPK and so when my readings surge .Judging from my ovulation calender i will be most fertile on the 8th of this month so starting from tonight every other day we will be enjoying bedding each other .

    I actually have not been really trying each month but with a lackluster way hoping that hey there is no period this month hurray for us .
    I actually spoke with my dr last Yr about it and they said i just had to relax you know some partners can just look at each other according to my gyn and the one gets pregnant but for others its not that easy.I am one of the percentage that has to time it just right.

    Because of your excellent advice i believe we can get pregnant now because i am ready.Last yr i was so scared because the pain was so fresh in my mind it practically stopped me from just letting go and truly enjoy the ride all pun intended .It was a yr ago actually when we lost our baby .Thats something i would'nt wish on anyone.
    I am going to let my man go and get one of those OPK kits once he knows what its for and because am going to have him read this with me ,i think he just might buy out the store .
    Hopefully we'll get some great results and i can let you in on all of the details .
    I am so happy for these discussion and very informative communities.You all are a really great help and i so appreciate it .
    Thank you so much for the baby dust heading my way
    trinionboard replied to jenkoelenko's response:
    Thank you so much Jen.
    That boyfriend of mines loves to keep his sperm count fresh and regular.So no problem there.We most definitely will enjoy the practice thanks much .
    alfae responded:
    Hi Trinionboard,

    I really hope things happen for you all soon. I am hoping to concieve soon myself. The following is a link I hope you find helpful:

    This link will allow you to track your most fertile days during your cycle. I see that you both have put a lot of thought and work into your marriage. I will pray for you to add to you trmendous amout of faith.
    trinionboard replied to alfae's response:
    Thank you Alfae,
    I use the ovulation calender my problem was trying to do the hokey pokey on those four days that am ovulating instead of days prior as in every other so when am just starting to be fertile no and when am fertile yes and really,really fertile .So We put in some work yesterday and i already spoke with him so none today and yes by all means tommorow and none on wednesday and certainly on thursday.And the other days am not sure because i want to make sure we are on the right path before we do anything to jeopardize that.
    Thanks for your prayers and i will also lift you up in my prayers Alfae.
    Will keep everyone updated as to what's happening in my neck of the woods.
    alfae replied to trinionboard's response:
    You are welcome! Thank you for your prayers also. I am starting to feel more hopeful these days no matter what the Doctors say because I know God is a Miricle Worker!

    I love You All!

    trinionboard replied to alfae's response:
    And Let the Church say AMEN .
    I totally agree with you that God is a miracle working God .
    He will work in our favor.
    Keep on keeping on and holding on to our very present help in the times of trouble.
    And for some of us these are troubling times.
    Stay blessed we'll talk soon,

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