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Would love to start trying but...
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Bulley1030 posted:
Ok wives out there I am 22 my DH is 24 we have been married over a year now, I have finished college before we got married and by 20 I had my career and my DH found his career shortly after we wed. I am truly ready and wanting to be a mother. I have this strong emotional pull that I know I am meant to be a mom. my DH definitely wants kids but.... he wants to wait about 3-4 years. he wants to be closer to 30 before kids. he doesn't feel ready. has anyone had this indecision happen to them? how do I get myself to realize that waiting is better when there is only one reason i can think of why we should? we do not have a house yet. with two dogs I can see how having a house would be better. financially were fine and our relationship has already been through a lot so I know we have a strong foundation for the stress of a baby and child. any advice?? please help! wanting a baby is eating away at me....

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BeautifullyBlessed responded:
I would say give it another year. I say that only because DH knows and expressed that he is not yet ready and bringing a baby into a relationship when one party isn't ready may not yield the best results.

In some instances, when a man feels he isn't ready, once the wife is pregnant or the baby comes, he does a 360. However, this isn't always the case.

You said you've been through a lot and feel your foundation is strong, I wouldn't want to put any unnecessary stress or pressure on the relationship.

I can totally understand how you feel about being ready to be a mom as I will be 33 this year and ttc my first.

I think the compromise would be having a discussion with DH and maybe agreeing to revisit the topic in a year.

Congratulations on your 1 year of marriage and I hope you have many more (a lifetime). DH and I just celebrated a year last month.

God bless
 
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Bulley1030 replied to BeautifullyBlessed's response:
Thanks for the advice! Yeah I agree an the not adding stress part. I guess having a house first would take stress from him. I'm not on any birth control so I have told him we could have an oops baby and he said he would do what he had to then but it's not like he is against having them just not now. my main thing is trying to get him to see through my eyes how difficult waiting actually is... I feel like half a person not being a mom and having progeny. I hope I don't sound like some crazy mom nut job haha.
 
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LuluAP responded:
My DH and I were married in May of last year and I turn 30 next January. Originally he wanted me to wait until the end of this year. However, we had a heart to heart sit down and we were able to compromise. I think if you approach him in a positive and sensitive manner you guys would be able to compromise. The truth is, and I have been told this by EVERYONE, there is never a "right time" to have a baby; if you are waiting for the right time, it will never come. But it is never wise to throw caution to the wind. You two are still very young, but I can understand getting baby fever. Good luck to you and love each other more and more each day.
 
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Bulley1030 replied to LuluAP's response:
thx for your reply. I think that for 2 weeks out of the month right when I'm fertile the baby fever is so hardcore!! lol but then logic jumps in right on time and I realize that I want to be in a much better place (like a house) before we really try. so that's all I have to think about. we have two big dogs so we wouldn't fit a baby in our apartment! plus the doggies deserve a big backyard but I truly appreciate your advice. I know my husband is only trying to do what's best and even tho it will be hard sometimes he is right that waiting 4 yrs is really a good idea. sigh... guess I'll just steal my niece and nephew when I can one is 3 and the other just turned 1 plus I have two other SIL that more than likely will e having babies soon so I'll have plenty to steal


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