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When is it enough
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CEB85 posted:
Ok, so I guess I'm a little bit venting a little bit thinking out loud and curious what you think. After our last failed IVF we have been on a bit of a break waiting for my laparoscopy and hysteroscopy to get done. Its been about a month and a half now of waiting. My surgery is Thursday. Anyways, I've really actually enjoyed the time off. My Dr. told me not to hold back and do anything I wanted. He said we've been through so much and I need to take this time for myself. Its been so nice not to have to worry about doing something too physical, or even have a glass of wine. My Dr. actually told me to drink. Its been almost 2 years of treatments and I haven't drank during that time. I've been doing everything I enjoy and not worried about the physical stress it could be having on me during treatments and its actually been wonderful. I love being active. I almost feel guilty that I'm enjoying the break this much.
During this break I've actually been thinking a little more about adoption. When is it time to just move on? I feel so guilty for thinking that too. I'm just so tired of all the meds and all the treatments. I just want it to be over with, but I want a baby, my baby, more than anything in the world right now. I've even thought maybe we should start the adoption process while still trying to conceive our own. I asked my husband one day, how do we know when its time to move on? He told me we will move on when I say its time to move one. He knows how hard this is on me and doesn't want me to do anything I don't want to anymore. I guess deep down I don't feel like now is the time to give up on treatments and I'm hoping that when the time comes I will just KNOW and it will feel right.
I just want a baby so badly. Seems like every one I know is pregnant or has children. Every time we go out with friends who have children I have to listen to them talk about their kids the entire time. Or hear about another friend who is pregnant and I'm just so sick of it. And I'm tired of feeling the way I do about it too.
Hopefully after Thursday we'll have some answers and will know the best way to proceed.
Also, sorry for the rambling.
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KMcEntire responded:
CEB85,

I've been thinking similar things and I wish I had the answers. I go back and forth sometimes and just drive myself nuts. I think taking a step back/taking a break can be a good thing, or at least build some strength back to do whichever process you decide. Hang in there!
Me (24)(PCOS) and DH (24) TTC our first for two years. Tried Metformin, Femara, Acupuncture, herbs, ovarian drilling... looking at other options.
 
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prayforamiracle responded:
First off, I hope your surgery went well today. I hope you are doing okay and will have a quick recovery.

I could have written so much of the same things you did. When do you know to give up your dream, when all your life everyone has always told you to never give up on your dreams. I haven't went through near the things that you have, but what I have went through is very draining. I hope maybe you will realize some positive answers from your surgery and will be able to achieve your dream in very near future.

Keep us posted.
Prayforamiracle-Me(37)PCOS Dh(44)MFI TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in loss in July 2007. On 1500mg of Metformin. 1st IUI 1/12=BFN, 2nd IUI 2/12=BFN
 
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CEB85 replied to prayforamiracle's response:
Thanks for the replies. I am feeling a bit more positive about things since the surgery. I haven't met with my RE yet, but from what he told DH after the surgery he did remove some endo as well as some uterine polyps. Not sure how many polyps but I know there were multiple. From what I read about them I can definitely see embryos not being able to implant due to them. So hopefully since they're gone now we will have some luck. I meet with my RE in about 2 weeks and we will go from there. DH said that the Dr. feels much more confident about doing a transfer now too. Before it seemed almost impossible to pass the catheter through, but now the RE made a map so he knows what to do. In the past I always had to be put under for a transfer and now he wants to try it with no anesthesia so that's a good sign I think.


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