Hi Pray, I've been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing? If I remember right the last time you gave an update you were saying that you had to take some time off due to scheduling? Just wondering if you've been able to start another round or are still waiting and how you're doing.
Thanks so much for thinking of me. I'm sorry I haven't been around much. I haven't been in the best place. Really feeling that achieving a pregnancy is not going to happen to me, and I don't know how to deal with that. As I know you feel also, I want to have a baby and experience pregnancy and all that goes with it so much. TTC is so exhausting and I feel like I have let my DH down. He could have probably already been a daddy now, if he married someone else. That brings a lot of guilt for me. Due to my work schedule we did have to take time off from the RE. I'm now able to get started again, but soon my DH busy time of year will be starting. I still have to do a HSG and injectables class, before I can start a medicated cycle.
I also have been thinking of you and wondering what is going on with you.
Prayforamiracle-Me(37)PCOS Dh(44)MFI TTC since 11/06. Only pregnancy ended in loss in July 2007. On 1500mg of Metformin. 1st IUI 1/12=BFN, 2nd IUI 2/12=BFN
I am so, so sorry you're feeling this way. I know the feeling all too well and it is certainly tough to get through. I know there is not much I can say that will make you feel better right now. Just try to stay strong and positive. We WILL get through this. No matter how things may turn out some day we will get through it and move on with our lives. This wont last forever. As far as the guilt with your DH, I'm sure he doesn't hold it against you, and you're blaming yourself when he is not. He married you because he loves you, and not someone else who may or may not have already had children. I'm willing to bet anything he's not thinking that way and is more concerned with how you're doing. Sometimes taking a break can really help. We had to take a couple months off because of my surgery and it was really a good thing for me. I finally got to enjoy life a little bit more. My RE told me I had no restrictions when I asked if it was okay to have a glass of wine here and there. He pretty much laughed and told me to go get drunk haha.
I come here from time to time to check up on you ladies. you are always in my prayers.
Pray, i can understand why you would feel the way you do. your struggle has been so long now. but i do believe that in the end you will have a child. you still have a lot of options and treatments are only getting better. as for your husband, i am sure he doesnt hold anything against you. you are his family and he loves you. one thing i didnt want to say to women here because i didnt want to hear it when i was ttc was adoption. infertility doesnt just rob us of having a child but also from the experience of pregnancy. i thought i could never love a child that was not my own, but when you see a child, at that moment i dont think it matters where the baby comes from, it only matters that you love him/her and they are yours. my point is no matter how it happens, your husband will become a dad and you a mom one day. you guys are already a family, you're just waiting for the baby, who will come one day. my prayers are always with you.
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