preface: to exhausted and depressed to use medical terms exclusively. I am 57 year old male. Last year in January of 2012, I was suffering from my bladder not emptying fully. I could not sleep for more than an hour before waking up with a deep numb pain in my lower abdomen. It took two months for my pcp(family doctor)to figure out I needed a sonogram after many other tests. I then had to wait another month to see a urologist. I had a cystoscopy(?)done. In so many words he said my bladder was "shot". And he said that after having to wait so long did more damage and stretched my bladder. At first I was on a permanent catheter and urine bag. Then I was allowed to intermittent catheter.
Even though this was much better than having a tube up my phallus constantly and could still have sex AND EJACULATE, it seemed i had irritation all the time in my phallus(penis). I felt desperate and called an out of town University Hospital's urology department. They asked which doctor I wanted to be seen by. However my desperation overtook me and I said please give me the soonest available appointment with any urologist. note: don't do this, you will probably get a doctor who is not getting that much "business" and that could be he/she is not competent.
In a week I was seen. I saw a young doctor who barely gave me the time of day. And he was very irritable, overachieving and just really nasty. However again my anxiety and suffering overcame me and when he suggested a turp procedure i jumped at it. He told me nothing about any termporary or permanent pros and cons. He said he was confident that my problem would be cured or alleviated by the turp. Most of all, HE NEVER TOLD ME ABOUT PERMANENT RETROGRADE EJACULATION PRIOR. After the treatment I was urinating like a donkey for the summer of 2012. However in four weeks after surgery my first sex since prior to the turp, My orgasm since and to this day is not only dry but feels like nothing, just going through the motions.
I am so tense now, i feel like hell. My dry orgasms give me no relief from sexual tension. I don't even want to hear the word sex. But I still am not internally sterile so sooner or later you need some sexual relief. But I won't even make love to my left or right hand. Quite frankly, I don't want to live anymore.
A doctor replied on another website said there are reconstructive surgeries. However I doubt these are available but only to those who are wealthy and are probably inconsistent.
What ever happened to the Hippocratic Oath "first do no harm". And anyway I have to self catheter again. My current urologist says I probably never had an enlarged prostate to begin with and that turp destroys that part of the anatomy that allows semen to come out of your penis instead of now going into your bladder.
The main point you glossed over is that it probably never was my prostate that is the cause of my bladder not emptying adequately. Proper urination and release of sexual tension are separate and equal in importance to one's well being. I am not a hedonist and don't need "gratification". I am a man and like every man and sex drive repressed is detrimental to over all health. In fact there would be no human race or any creatures on this earth without sexuality.
You don't want me to get started about the human population. Every man's libido is different, so that's not a judgment we can make here. Sexual health is important for SOME people's emotional well-being, and not for others.
Ejaculation is not required for sexual function unless you are trying to have children, and even then there are ways around it. So, from a purely medical perspective, there is no medical "need" to ejaculate to be healthy, and therefore it is not considered a medical concern.
Whether you agree with the perspective that urination and ejaculation are FAR from equal or not is not in question. The medical community has a fixed opinion on this at present, and urination wins 100% of the time over ejaculatory function. That may be disappointing to many, but it is the state of medicine today.
If you wish to make an issue about your specific circumstances, that will be up to you and your attorney and what you can convince a court to believe. It will however be an uphill battle, and there were likely waivers you signed before the procedure that reviewed risks such as you have experienced.
I still don't understand how urologists can tell us that after the operation the sex and everything will be perfectly normal exept that we won't ejaculate anymore. Then if it isn't the case, they just keep on saying that it can't be the TURP operation as it was in my case. I know what a good sex life I had before the operation and what a pathetic climax I have now. My sexlife was exelent and very important to me and I hate that doctor who talked me into it. Why didnt he put me on flomax before he did this dreadfull operation so that I could at least have had some time to think or as my new urologist say I could also feel how retro would feel with the flomax. The urologist who did the TURP on me also went on as if I don't have much time with my symptoms and that I must book a bed in the hospital as soon as I could. I thought that there was big problems and that if he didnt operate on me that it could develop into cancer. Little did I know. All I know today is that don't trust any doctor anymore. I'm so sorry I didn't know my new urologist at that time. I know 3 other people who had the operation and they are totally unhappy with their new retro climaxes. I still dont know anybody who are happy with it so I dont know how they can keep on telling us that the feeling and everything will be perfectly normal after the operation with all the evidence of unhappy people. I even read on another website about somebody who shot his urologist. I can understand his frustration.
I'm sorry that you had unexpected consequences. If you feel your doctor did harm or failed to provide the required disclosures or did an incorrect procedure for your issue, you should speak to an attorney. We cannot offer legal advice.
As for how you feel today, please seek care from a psychologist to address your feelings about your situation.
No, there's likely no going back after this procedure, no reconstruction. More surgery would be more trauma.
Thank You. I started the thread. everything you have written is true. And in my case my urologist never even told me prior to turp, that I would be afflicted with permanent dry orgasm(retrograde ejaculation). The vast majority of males agree with you and I and have had their emotional and thus medical health made worse by inadequate sensation and sexual tension relief due to turp induced permanent dry orgasm. At the core of the US medicine for profit system is unnecessary surgeries and procedures. Any way I still have to self catheter which means the problem means it was not an enlarged prostate. My current urologist confirms this by the deduction that because I have to self catheter i did not have an enlarged prostate but a neurogenic bladder.
Sexuality is the most important thing in the world. If we did not have it there would be no human race. Furthermore I don't even care about sexual gratification at this point. The fact is I was malpracticed by 2 urologists. The first for not preauthorizing enough clean new strerile intermittant catheters. When you have to wash one to use 4 times a day, you have uti's all the time. And uti's can make free peeing even harder. This mofo idiot urologist in my hometown drove me to call the large city nearby university hospital. then i got another bastard. My third and current urologist concludes the fact that i still have to catheter means it was never a prostate problem to begin with. He is correct that I have problem with my bladder. You don't understand how important it is to get relief from our most important instinct, that is sex. So i still don't have proper urination but only through cathetering. My new neurologist and older and kinder man put through the preauthorization to my insurance to give me a new sterile catheter every time i have to catheter. Now my penis is not always in pain due to having a sterile catheter and i can free pee(without cathetering) better now. I wish I would have had this urologist in the first place. I would still be able to ejaculate. And maybe by this time I would have found some therapy, medication, no invasive permanently damaging surgery like turp. No its not psychological.
exactly, well said. for me the young nasty doctor at the prestigious university hospital i think was just using me to get experience in turp procedure. And now I wish I would have went to this old veteran urologist who is kind and concerned in the first place. But i never knew of him. In fact i think he was in retirement and just came out after the permanent damage that was done to me. Not only are my dry orgasm's not pleasureable, but worst than that they give no relief of sexual tension. And my penis hurts for hours after this godless type of orgasm i have been afflicted with permanently. I am so depressed I feel i am going mad. I hope the young punk doctor who did the unnecessary turp on me has cancer and has to have his prostate removed,castrated, etc to save his life. death is too good for him. I want to see him suffer like he has made me suffer. The problem with the US health system is that profit is its number one priority. And when that is the case you get poorer care. In France the have better patient results, are just as advanced as the US system or even more so, and it is a public system. The wealthy don't mind paying their fare share into it. Doctors are seen as one of the most important public servants. And the French publicly run system is a quarter the cost to run than our dog eat dog for profit US medical system. And its not at all totalitarian there. If you are a doctor you are free to have a private practice. But you then also have to pay for the astronomical malpractice insurance. A really civilized nation has a mixed economy, both private and public. In the US just as in UK now, all the traditional public services are being contracted out to private providers. And who is paying the bill for the worse care of private providers: the US taxpayer. If the corporations did not run our government, we would spend less on wars and bailing out the rich and more on we the people. I just hope there is a procedure or a genetic injection, whatever that will give me back a normal sex life and not one that makes my life worse than death. much more to write but i fear i have rambled enough. thats all i can do now is ramble because i am in constant distress and this turp induced dry orgasm is but one but the worst of the medical problems that were mostly due to the US medical system. I think all sectors of the economy that are vital should be made public rather than in the private sector. And no, that does not mean a lazy bureacracy. In most advanced western countries they value highly the socialist part of their economy and they still have the individual freedoms we have. Norway is a fine example. They struck oil in the North Sea big time 15 years ago. And the people made damn sure it would be publicly owned. Those oil revenues go mostly back to the public in schools, care for elderly, good salaries regardless of what sector of the economy you work, there is next to no homelessness and the wealthy pay their fare share in taxes unlike here in the US where there are so many loopholes in the tax code a wealthy person or a corporation can weasel out of paying less percentage in tax than a working man or woman. btw, 911 was not a cause, it was a reaction to the US governments directly or indirectly(backing al qaeda and dictators like the house of Saud where most of the hijackers came from. go figure) killing and making life miserable for muslims in the middle east. i pray for the day the US empire falls and we once again become a peaceful, contributor republic within the world's family of nations. more later and hopefully more clear and concise.
This is not a political forum. This is a layman's forum for basic medical information. There are support groups for men after TURP, as it does dramatically change things. If you're so upset, seek some legal relief.
Sex is not the most important thing in life for everyone, even if it may be one of the top things you define as important. Recreational sex is a luxury. It's unfortunate that you suffer from a very active libido and only find sexual satisfaction from normal ejaculation.
I'm glad your UTIs have stopped and you're receiving a better level of care now. Talk to some of the men who have had TURP procedures and you'll find much more useful advice about how to cope after the fact than you will here on WebMD.
If I can use the internet to warn just one person not to ruin his life like mine has been ruined I would like to do it and I think that the internet has helped a lot of people. I wasn't aware of any other treatment than the TURP and I had no problems other than a PSA of 3.8. According to my urologist it was too high and I have to get a TURP. He didn't tell me of any other medication or watchful waiting and in fact he told me that I mustn't worry at all because the sex will feel exactly the same. Now after I've read a lot of other peoples points of view and some of them are urologists I realise that my urologist didn't tell me about any other treatment for BHP and also that he did the most invasive operation that he could with the most sexual problems. I've also read on London urology that they only do the TURP as a last option. I can now go to my urologist and confront him with all the info and if he tells me I'm the first person who ever had a problem with this operation I can ask him what kind of a Urologist is he because I've read about a lot of unhappy people on the internet and I've also read the views of urologists as early as 1997 that talked about considerable concern of unhappy people after the TURP. I also read of silent sufferers. I'm definitely not going to be a silent sufferer. You also know that we can do nothing legally. Somehow they always have this research that couldn't find any sexual problems. Who can believe any medical research .. All I know is that my life is a total mess after this dreadful operation and I'm glad I can use this method of telling people. Don't believe corrupt research or corrupt doctors. Read about other peoples experiences and get a true picture,
Gingerman, if you want to rant, WebMD is not the forum. Clearly you are mistrustful of physicians, and your options are very clear. The internet is actually a much less reliable place to get information than you seem to believe.
You have two options: either file a lawsuit claiming there was no disclosure made and that malpractice occurred, or just be unhappy. There is no warning to be issued here, because it is an entirely he-said-she-said situation here until complete evidence is provided.
I'm sorry your experience did not turn out the way you wanted, but it as equally reasonable to believe that your situation is FAR more complex than described as it is to believe your doctor was in error.
If you are unwilling to sue the doctor, it tends to lean belief towards a position where you have no standing to do so. If you did, then there is no reason not to pursue that course. Get a legal opinion, it will be worth it. And if you have a good case, maybe money can buy you a different kind of happiness.
Don't get me wrong, I don't want to diminish your suffering, but if there was wrongful action here, the only sensible course is to exercise the law. No one is trawling WebMD looking for warnings. Once you have won your case, you can publish all the information about what was found to be fact and help to stop a repeat.
You know I actually got more answers from the net than from my Urologist. .Off course he also told me not to believe what I've read on the internet. But believe me if I had to believe him then I was the only person in the world with sexual problems after TURP. You can have your point of view but I'm very glad for forums like this where I can complain and read about other peoples problems. I'm sure some urologists do read this and some at least do realise that our lives had been ruined. At least I can see that the TURP isn't been done so frequently anymore and that at least some medical sites now acknowledge the fact that the sexual problems do exist. Do you really think we can sue the medical profession successfully if they have corrupt research and a lot of money to back them. If we complain on sites like this then at least they might realise that we become clever and that they cant just do what they want and make money because we can warn each other and they might loose credibility and also work and money. And then of course they will stop ruining other men's lives. Money is all my urologist cares about I'm sure, I can also go to my urologist now with much more information and believe me he doesn't know what to say because he told me that he doesn't believe in the medication for BHP. But why does he believe the research that found no sexual problems after TURP and not the research that have good results for the use of medicine for BHP They also know that men don't talk about these things with each other and that is why they could do the operation for so long and pretend that everybody is happy. Now with the internet they realise that at least 30% of sexually active men are not happy at all with there quality of live after the TURP. Some urologists have been written about silent sufferers and a considerable concern about sexual problems after TURP long ago but all the other urologists enjoyed making money and they were cutting out prostates for fun while nobody listened. Thank goodness for forums like this one and believe me this is not the only one.
It's BPH (benign prostatic hypertrophy), not BHP. And your urologist is a liar if he said those things to you. It would be worth suing him if he's that far out in left field. There are no urologists reading this forum. The urologist at WedMD pretty much only moderates the prostate cancer forum. You can send a message to Dr. Sheldon Marks, the WebMD urology expert on the forums he moderates. TURP has been discussed in his forum, or Exchange as WebMD calls it.
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