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Urination instead of Ejaculation?
HoneydewGlow posted:
My fiance and I have been sexually active for about a year and a half, maybe a bit more. I am a very liberal person, and I'm all about the moral ambiguity of sex and whatnot, but I would like to preface this by admitting that some of the things he is into make me uncomfortable and honestly concern me (though he would never push for something that disturbs me). I have a few of my own kinks and fetishes, but many of his are pretty out-there. I am able for the most part to put those concerns aside, but occasionally things occur, physically, that worry me. For example, he was such a chronic masturbator for so many years that he has not once been able to climax during sex unless he pauses to masturbate in order to finish himself off in his very particular way. This is likely because he has trained himself only to respond to a certain kind of stimulation, and with mutual work this is something that can be reversed.

However, he has a history of urethral self-insertion. I didn't know about this until maybe the tenth time he urinated into my mouth during fellatio. He had abdominal convulsions as he normally does during an orgasm, his penis was pulsating, and he said he felt as though he was going to ejaculate, but what came out was most definitely urine. Not diluted semen; not pre-ejaculatory fluid. Piss. He had been considering that perhaps he had caused some sort of damage to the mechanisms in there, especially since he maintains the erection during and after urinating.

He is and always has been able to keep it up after ejaculating as well.

Keep in mind that despite my aversions to some of his kinks, I am very supportive, non-judgmental (I don't think he's a bad person for them; they just gross me out and set off some red flags sometimes) and we work together 100% on everything. Also possibly worth noting is that he has exhibited numerous symptoms of certain mental illnesses (not of serial-killer caliber, but illness nonetheless) and will be beginning therapy soon. I don't know if this is something that is psychological in nature.

Thanks for your time and help.
HoneydewGlow responded:
(I am a woman posting here, by the way.)
counterso responded:
Urethral masturbation is not entirely uncommon, but it can be somewhat damaging to the structures of the penis when taken to extremes or done frequently.

That doesn't sound like the issue here though. And yes, you're correct, that his response to different stimulation CAN be trained out of him, but requires that he stop using his preferred techniques supplementally.

What has broken the valve that prevent urination from occurring during ejaculation is him blocking the flow of ejaculate at the time of orgasm. That happens either because he had the rod inserted in his urethra, or he simply clamps down on his penis to prevent the escape of ejaculate when he orgasms. After doing this several times the valve separating the two possible fluids is permanently broken. Once broken he may ejaculate weakly (dribble), ejaculate into his bladder, or if he's really lucky, ejaculate normally. More importantly for you is that he not urinate unexpectedly. Aside from voiding his bladder before sexual activity so there's no urine to be expelled during orgasm, there's not anything he's going to be able to do to stop this.

I'm sorry to say that his choice of masturbation techniques has caused irreparable damage to this valve and his situation is permanent.

Having him empty his bladder before sex is probably the best idea, as very few people would enjoy that kind of surprise.

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