I have been totally healthy my entire life, I was competing all over the world on the horse show circuit. I have every license you can have for water rescue.. I was incredibly strong due to my horseback riding along with being in shape.
15 years ago I was diagnosed as a rapid cycling Bipolar 1. My doctor is listed as one of the best doctors in America. He said I was either number one or two worst bipolars he had ever seen. We later figured out I became bipolar at the age of 11, I was a functioning bipolar until an overwhelming , gut wrenching event sent me over the edge into a nightmare. I believe it's called a psychic break and it takes your life and puts in a food processor for 5 minutes and then tells you to move forward. I worked so hard all this time and I was not great but OK. At the end of last year I arrived at the hospital DOA from complete renal failure. The worst part for me was the extreme hallucinations and the aphasia - I do not drink, smoke and I have not touched an illegal drug in my life. I was never the same after that experience. I had to have surgery on a gland on my neck, which was performed at MD Anderson hospital. They made me stay the night to monitor my kidneys that are only at 30% capacity. I was ready to go the next morning but I had a fever of 102 degrees and I ended up in the hospital for 6 more days. on IV antibiotics, at my next checkup the incision where they lift the tongue and cut out the whole bottom of your mouth was infected so back to the hospital I went. Next I caught a severe upper respiratory infection that went on forever. I was so sick and I felt so bad I did not know what to do ? I was not allowed to leave my house due to my compromised immune system. I finally for the first time in my life thought I was having a nervous breakdown, I was just done, hit bottom, a total mess. I was covered from head to toe with huge bloody open sores due to my extreme anxiety.
I'm a type A personality so all of this was quite overwhelming, then the doctor called to tell me I had rheumatoid arthritis. I was so sick I really thought I was going to die, like when someone picks up a bug and then find out they have deadly staph.
I just cannot seem to get a break so I'm staying home and working on my anxiety. Praying nothing else happens.
You are going through a lot. I'm not sure we can give you what you need, but if it's just an "ear" you need, then you have come to the right place. :)
Or actually you can go to another place! We have a great Bipolar Community here if you'd like to share your experiences there. It's a lot you are going through, I'm so sorry. Please seek the help you deserve to get well, and to feel better. Good luck!
Good Luck and Good health,
WebMD Community Staff
You poor thing!!! I feel so bad for you that you have to go through all this physical misery! I wish I could make it all go away for you. I was bipolar also and kept telling the Dr.s that Jesus was going to heal me. Well they knew I was crazy so they tried to give me every pill in the book for 25 years. Nothing helped because I have so many allergies to everything. But Thank God because He did come through for me. While I was in the shower I prayed and cried and a voice (not a bipolar voice) told me I was cured and all the darkness and fears are gone. The Dr.s have been amazed at my change in everything. Strange thing is I went to a so called Christian Dr. and she didn't believe I was cured because she said she had never heard of anyone being cured before. TRUST ME, I have never been happier in my whole life. I have been married for 23 yrs. and my husband is so happy also. I still have allergies but no bipolar and I know people don't believe in miracles but I always have and they happen to those who believe. I pray that with all your heart you will believe and pray because miracles are just waiting for those who truly believe and trust to be renewed by the Spirit of Jesus.
baby girl ur gona be fine. ur young and this too shall pass.iam almost 50 and i have hep c it sucks. but u can only do what u can do. i have 5 beasts of my own (horses)lol i have found that when u go around and feal lik crap all the tome all u can do is try to keep busy and work with ur horses. my horses r my life and they keep me going. u and i both know that horses r a way of life. life being the key word. adont stress so much about things u cant change. your delt the hand ur delt . now let ur horses be your life ride hard and pray hard thats all u can do. itll be alright codygirl
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