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Always on you?
DidiToo posted:
Do you ever get the feeling like the bulk of work-and-family balance is on you?
I'll give an example. DH and I usually split the duties of taking DS2 to daycare and waiting with DS1 at the bus stop. On mornings when DH has an early meeting, I take over, get both boys ready myself, wait with both at the bus stop and then do the daycare dropoff. (Note: my boys are crazy when they're together, which makes this more challenging than it might sound.) I've had to cover him in the mornings this way about a dozen times.
Well, the one time I have an early meeting, he's got something scheduled already. Didn't even talk with me to clear it because he assumed that of course, I'd be there to do everything. He ended up rearranging his thing, and I feel grateful, but I also feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? It's just what I've done for him numerous times!
I feel like it's this way no matter whether I'm getting a haircut or I have a work obligation that carries me outside of the normal 8 - 5. Anyone else feel like it's always on you?
I'll give an example. DH and I usually split the duties of taking DS2 to daycare and waiting with DS1 at the bus stop. On mornings when DH has an early meeting, I take over, get both boys ready myself, wait with both at the bus stop and then do the daycare dropoff. (Note: my boys are crazy when they're together, which makes this more challenging than it might sound.) I've had to cover him in the mornings this way about a dozen times.
Well, the one time I have an early meeting, he's got something scheduled already. Didn't even talk with me to clear it because he assumed that of course, I'd be there to do everything. He ended up rearranging his thing, and I feel grateful, but I also feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? It's just what I've done for him numerous times!
I feel like it's this way no matter whether I'm getting a haircut or I have a work obligation that carries me outside of the normal 8 - 5. Anyone else feel like it's always on you?
8 Replies |Watch This Discussion | Report This| Share this:Always on you?Do you ever get the feeling like the bulk of work-and-family balance is on you? <br /> <br />I'll give an example. DH and I usually split the duties of taking DS2 to daycare and waiting with DS1 at the bus stop. On mornings when DH has an early meeting, I take over, get both boys ready myself, wait with both at the bus stop and then do the daycare dropoff. (Note: my boys are crazy when they're together, which makes this more challenging than it might sound.) I've had to cover him in the mornings this way about a dozen times.<br /> <br />Well, the <b>one time</b> I have an early meeting, he's got something scheduled already. Didn't even talk with me to clear it because he assumed that of course, I'd be there to do everything. He ended up rearranging his thing, and I feel grateful, but I also feel guilty. Why do I feel guilty? It's just what I've done for him numerous times!<br /> <br />I feel like it's this way no matter whether I'm getting a haircut or I have a work obligation that carries me outside of the normal 8 - 5. Anyone else feel like it's always on you?
chrisandjen0717 responded:
I absolutely feel like it's always on me. DH works in law enforcement and he just recently went back to working night shifts. That means I work all day and have approx. 45 minutes with DH before he has to leave and then I am on duty to clean up from dinner, entertain and watch DD, bathe her, get her ready for bed and be "on call" alone all night if she needs me. The weekends he works are no longer my own because I have to keep DD occupied (out of the house as much as possible) all day so DH can sleep and then it's the same routine after he leaves in the evening. I absolutely love spending time with DD but it gets so exhausting to not feel like I get much of a break.
I get jealous of DH sometimes because of all the time he gets to spend in a quiet house to sleep, only worry about feeding himself, watch what he wants on TV, and just TRULY relax. All he has to worry about is himself.
You're not alone!
I get jealous of DH sometimes because of all the time he gets to spend in a quiet house to sleep, only worry about feeding himself, watch what he wants on TV, and just TRULY relax. All he has to worry about is himself.
You're not alone!
Report This| Share this:Always on you?I absolutely feel like it's always on me. DH works in law enforcement and he just recently went back to working night shifts. That means I work all day and have approx. 45 minutes with DH before he has to leave and then I am on duty to clean up from dinner, entertain and watch DD, bathe her, get her ready for bed and be "on call" alone all night if she needs me. The weekends he works are no longer my own because I have to keep DD occupied (out of the house as much as possible) all day so DH can sleep and then it's the same routine after he leaves in the evening. I absolutely love spending time with DD but it gets so exhausting to not feel like I get much of a break. <br /> <br />I get jealous of DH sometimes because of all the time he gets to spend in a quiet house to sleep, only worry about feeding himself, watch what he wants on TV, and just TRULY relax. All he has to worry about is himself. <br /> <br />You're not alone! <img src="http://img.webmd.com/community/images/smile.gif" align="top" border="0">
tamaricek replied to chrisandjen0717's response:
Well, I have a baby girl, 9 months in a few days and, fortunately, in my country, I get a year off with a full salary to nurser her! However, in September I am going back to work and I just peeked in at your posts to see what's ahead of me...
You see, at the moment I'm also always occupied with the baby and my DH chips in when he can (he works and studies)...however, I also sometimes need a break out of this routine! It' dipper change-feeding-cooking-entertaining my baby-housework, EVERY DAY!
I feel ungrateful, since you do all that and WORK, but this perpetum mobile is killing me!
Thanx for listening!
You see, at the moment I'm also always occupied with the baby and my DH chips in when he can (he works and studies)...however, I also sometimes need a break out of this routine! It' dipper change-feeding-cooking-entertaining my baby-housework, EVERY DAY!
I feel ungrateful, since you do all that and WORK, but this perpetum mobile is killing me!
Thanx for listening!
Report This| Share this:Always on you?Well, I have a baby girl, 9 months in a few days and, fortunately, in my country, I get a year off with a full salary to nurser her! However, in September I am going back to work and I just peeked in at your posts to see what's ahead of me...<br />You see, at the moment I'm also always occupied with the baby and my DH chips in when he can (he works and studies)...however, I also sometimes need a break out of this routine! It' dipper change-feeding-cooking-entertaining my baby-housework, EVERY DAY!<br />I feel ungrateful, since you do all that and WORK, but this perpetum mobile is killing me!<br />Thanx for listening!
Omg im so jealous lol where in the world do you live? I wish we got a year off, with FLMA I got to take 3 months off which was nice, but its not paid or anything. Your country is awesome for doing this for mothers its a great thing.
Report This| Share this:Always on you?Omg im so jealous lol where in the world do you live? I wish we got a year off, with FLMA I got to take 3 months off which was nice, but its not paid or anything. Your country is awesome for doing this for mothers its a great thing.
We are a poor country (Serbia, Europe) but with a very high conscience about children and babies. When pregnant or with small children, you get to be first in the line, especially in a small town like mine.
Dare I tell you that for the first baby the government also gives you extra 800eur (average monthly pay is around 500eur), and a year off completely charge free at the doctor's and the dentist's.
For the second baby they give you around 1600eur and the third 1800eur, plus two years of full salary with the baby at home, and two years added to your working experience. If you get twins, you get extra 4000eur, and triplets 6000eur!
Of course, as a country we have other troubles, being in transition, but in this area, no complaints!
The fact is that in some countries profit became God. We are not there, yet, but it does seem contagious!
1.Top of Form
Dare I tell you that for the first baby the government also gives you extra 800eur (average monthly pay is around 500eur), and a year off completely charge free at the doctor's and the dentist's.
For the second baby they give you around 1600eur and the third 1800eur, plus two years of full salary with the baby at home, and two years added to your working experience. If you get twins, you get extra 4000eur, and triplets 6000eur!
Of course, as a country we have other troubles, being in transition, but in this area, no complaints!
The fact is that in some countries profit became God. We are not there, yet, but it does seem contagious!
1.Top of Form
- Bottom of Form
- Thanks for your Reply!
Report This| Share this:Always on you?We are a poor country (Serbia, Europe) but with a very high conscience about children and babies. When pregnant or with small children, you get to be first in the line, especially in a small town like mine.<br /> Dare I tell you that for the first baby the government also gives you extra 800eur (average monthly pay is around 500eur), and a year off completely charge free at the doctor's and the dentist's.<br /> For the second baby they give you around 1600eur and the third 1800eur, plus two years of full salary with the baby at home, and two years added to your working experience. If you get twins, you get extra 4000eur, and triplets 6000eur!<br /> Of course, as a country we have other troubles, being in transition, but in this area, no complaints!<br /> The fact is that in some countries profit became God. We are not there, yet, but it does seem contagious! <br /> 1.Top of Form<br /> <ol><li></li> </li><li>Bottom of Form</li> </ol> <ol><li>Thanks for your Reply! </li></ol>...Oh, yes, not to forget the benefit that if you do not work during pregnancy (that's optional), you stay at home and get 65% of your salary, that is if you work at the state-owned firm. If you work in a private firm, you'll probably just get sacked! That's what I meant about the hunger for profit being contagious...
wow thats amazing sorry so long for the reply. I think here in America though we have so many people that are lazy and looking for a free ride that thats all women would probably do just keep having kids to keep the free ride going. Its really sad because we already have that problem with welfare. People expect the goverment to take care of them here. Its not right so I knwo something like that in your country would never work here. I think its so great it works for you there its very important for mothers to stay at home with their children they learn from you and not others its great thats what mother are for to raise their children.
Report This| Share this:Always on you?wow thats amazing sorry so long for the reply. I think here in America though we have so many people that are lazy and looking for a free ride that thats all women would probably do just keep having kids to keep the free ride going. Its really sad because we already have that problem with welfare. People expect the goverment to take care of them here. Its not right so I knwo something like that in your country would never work here. I think its so great it works for you there its very important for mothers to stay at home with their children they learn from you and not others its great thats what mother are for to raise their children.
I disagree that Americans are lazy. We have so much less vacation than other countries, less paid time off. Welfare reform has been solidly in place since the nineties. I think women find it hard to work in this country and be moms because we have so few options for quality, affordable childcare.
To me, having a child is in itself work - a ton of work - and I can't see saying to myself, "Hey, I'd like a vacation, I think I'll have a newborn again." Just my point of view.
To me, having a child is in itself work - a ton of work - and I can't see saying to myself, "Hey, I'd like a vacation, I think I'll have a newborn again." Just my point of view.
Report This| Share this:Always on you?I disagree that Americans are lazy. We have so much less vacation than other countries, less paid time off. Welfare reform has been solidly in place since the nineties. I think women find it hard to work in this country and be moms because we have so few options for quality, affordable childcare. <br /> <br />To me, having a child is in itself work - a ton of work - and I can't see saying to myself, "Hey, I'd like a vacation, I think I'll have a newborn again." Just my point of view.
Wow, not every American person is lazy, I agree that there are those lazy ones out there but come on, welfare is out of control I have to give you that but we can't fix it because the government doesn't realize that it is broken.
Now if I got a year off with my child I would be happy, I was off for 8 weeks because my company only pays you short term disability for that long, I would have loved to take more time off but I don't have the financial means to do that.
Now if I got a year off with my child I would be happy, I was off for 8 weeks because my company only pays you short term disability for that long, I would have loved to take more time off but I don't have the financial means to do that.
Report This| Share this:Always on you?Wow, not every American person is lazy, I agree that there are those lazy ones out there but come on, welfare is out of control I have to give you that but we can't fix it because the government doesn't realize that it is broken. <br /> <br />Now if I got a year off with my child I would be happy, I was off for 8 weeks because my company only pays you short term disability for that long, I would have loved to take more time off but I don't have the financial means to do that.
I don't think she said that every American is lazy. She said that America has a lot of lazy people. That does not mean that every American is lazy. But if America had that same kind of system, I can see a lot of people taking advantage of that.
Report This| Share this:Always on you?I don't think she said that every American is lazy. She said that America has a lot of lazy people. That does not mean that every American is lazy. But if America had that same kind of system, I can see a lot of people taking advantage of that.
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