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    Child stealing underwear at home
    Mr_Earth posted:
    Hi everyone,

    My 12 year old son is diagnosed with ADHD. He has a habit of stealing underwear from family members. He has stolen bras and panties in the past from his step-sister. We locked her door but he found a way to break into the room and stole again. He even stole underwear from his biological mom and her boyfriends daughter when he was visiting on vacation. He sees a psychiatrist and psychologist regularly but has not yet improved in this area. This habit has made family members feel very unconfortable and violated. Is there anyone else who has experienced this issue and know what can be done to help him overcome his addiction?
    Byroney_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Dear Mr_Earth,

    I would have a serious talk with your son's psychiatrist and psychologist about that behavior. It is not only disturbing to family members, but could have negative implications for your son's future. If they are unable or unwilling to address the issue, then you need new doctors who will take your concerns seriously and help you. It's good that he has you advocating for him.

    Yours in health,

    GingerKohler responded:
    I've a cousin who had the same problem with his son. They went to a Psychiatrist. His son is not gay, just curious. He finally just got a bra, dress, etc. for his son. No more stealing.

    I don't get it. Well, I guess it never hurt J. Edgar Hoover, Director of the FBI.

    If you're Scottish - buy him a kilt.
    MomaAJ responded:
    You are not alone, my son does the same thing! I agree about it being uncomfortable and a problem. We are in counseling and hope that it shines a light on why he had this impulse. My son has ADHD and is very impulsive. He steals undergarments and hoards them in his room. He is not acting out with them...he just like to have them. I will let you know what happpens with our situation. MomaAJ
    AmandaLouPowell responded:
    I'm having this same problem from my son who is 7 and is also diagnosed ADHD. He keeps stealing my underwear and I have tried to talk to him about it, but he says he doesn't know why he is taking them. He keeps promising he wont do it again, and I keep finding them hidden under his bed. My son goes to counseling but they don't know why he is doing it? If you find out anything let me know because it worries me too!!!
    WeAnd3Boyz replied to AmandaLouPowell's response:
    I have recently discovered this issue with my 7 year old son. A few months ago, I had mounds of laundry to do and washed all of them at once, and had a lot of clothes to fold. Being a busy mother of 3, it took a couple days to get them all sorted through. During that week, I could not find ANY of my underwear. I thought to myself "I KNOW i washed them". I didn't think much about it at the time and figured that they'd turn up somewhere. Later on, I was looking for my 7 year old's shoe and happened to look under his bed where I found an stash of all of my underwear. Again, this kinda ran through my head as "this is odd but maybe it's because i had so much laundry to do, he thought this was funny."

    This week, this has happened again. Not the laundry, as it's been done and neatly put away as normal. However, I've began noticing my underwear (and some bras) were missing, and this time I was thinking well maybe i'd missplaced them or hadn't gotten to washing them. Last night, again while looking for a shoe, I found once again my underwear all in a neat pile with 2 bras. This time, this child had taken the bottom covering off the bottom of the bed and had hidden my underwear inside.

    He has not been diagnosed with ADHD or ADD, however his pediatrician keeps telling me "he's too young to be diagnosed" .
    BuffaloMom73 responded:
    Hello everyone. Has there been any updates on this post? My 8 yr old son is diagnosed ADHD and I have recently discovered him hiding his step-sister's underwear under his bed. I am very eager to hear what steps you have taken to help your child. Also I was wondering if your children were taking clean or dirty underwear? My son has been taking dirty underwear and we also found her bathing suit bottoms.

    Any feedback you can provide would be appreciated.
    Mouse24 replied to BuffaloMom73's response:
    Can anyone help ? I'm in the same situation , my boyfriends 7 year old son was caught stealing my underwear and bra on the 15th of this month - this is very strange to me . I have never seen this before or felt this confused about this in my life - the child said he wanted to use them for a cat toy - tie a string to them and play with them - I have not spoke to his child since this happen !!! What do I do ?? I did tell him he was wrong for doing what he did and I took all of his toys out of his room - but other than that I really haven't said much to him !!! Please help - feeling violated !!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Gina Pera replied to Mouse24's response:
    Hi folks,

    I'm interested to see so many comments on what many might consider an unusual topic related to ADHD.

    The fact is that ADHD is associated with something called paraphilias (you can look it up to find all the various meanings).

    There is a famous case of an elderly man with Parkinson's being treated with dopamine antagonists -- who then became a cross-dresser. After no lifetime history.

    Welcome to the multi-layered world of dopamine.

    I think it's important for you all to understand that this can be a medical issue, directly related to ADHD. One mom said her son didn't know why he did it, and I would believe him.

    Too add punitive measures to this, as well as guilt feelings, is not going to help. Whatever your feelings of "violation," I would put them aside for a while as you try to help your child deal with this issue as you would problems with math or social skills.

    Treating the issue matter-of-factly and talking honestly with the child about it, including perhaps that it might be just another symptom of ADHD to target for treatment, might be a good idea.

    Good luck,
    Gina Pera
    Gina Pera replied to WeAnd3Boyz's response:
    WeAnd3Boyz - your pediatrician says that 7 is too young to be diagnosed. Unfortunately, many pediatricians are not competent to make this call. I would consult more expert help.

    rivergong replied to Gina Pera's response:
    what kind of Dr. should I look for? My son, 15 has the same issue. But I don't know what Dr. They are all very general.

    momuv4girls replied to rivergong's response:
    Has your son been diagnosed AD(H)D? Is he on medication, and managed by a Psychiatrist ?

    rockdi replied to Gina Pera's response:
    Thank You Gina Pera! How is that working for him now Mouse_24? Again, thank you for making that so clear that the punitive measures could/might most certainly exacerbate the child and his condition---very helpful!
    justyce14 replied to rockdi's response:
    What would be considered an appropriate immediate response to discovering your son doing this? How has anyone else dealt with things? (Returning of items, consequences, etc.) Has anyone found a solution that works or has anyone's son stopped/grown out of?
    dhirsch responded:
    ADHD runs in my family. One of my sons had a problem with stealing when he was younger but out grew it slowly. It wasn't until he enlisted in the Army that he stopped trying to take short cuts every chance he got.

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