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    I wish I could interstand what he is trying to tell me!
    jana3914 posted:
    My dad had a stoke in Feb. 2010 and also has Alzheimers. He is in a nurseing home here in Springfield Tn. where we live. I have his P.O.A.
    my parents are divorced. I go everyday to fed him lunch and make sure he is taken care of. I sure do wiah I knew what he was trying to tell me, and how much he understands. Does anyone have any help ?
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    kuntzi responded:
    My mom has Alzheimer's. She cannot articulate what she wants to say anymore. Ask him to point to what he wants (they usually don't know) and don't be afraid to say you're sorry you don't know what he's saying, then bring up something else. One thing about AD they forget as soon as they ask, usually. So changing the subject is quite easy. Being silly usually works quite often, especially when they are agitated and you don't know why. May I stress getting involved in a group in your area of caretakers, they offer so many resolutions to what seems surmountable odds in this tough world of care taking.
    royhays responded:
    Jana3914: I have taken care of my wife for 8 years and feel for you when trying to understand impaired thoughts and expressions from your Dad.. I notice that when talking
    on the telephone, my wife still stumbles a bit, but everytime carries on a "normal" conversation....always with others, not me. Can you have someone at the Home set up a call to him
    to see if might work? It should be someone that he knows at the Home or from his past, not you.

    As a clincher, my wife does not know me at times. Recently, she ordered me out of HER BED IN NO UNCERTAIN TERMS...because she did not know me as her caregiver...all in perfect English. Being a caregiver might be at the source of my wife's expression difficulty with me.

    Every case is different, but maybe you can break through,
    Don't give up and Bless you for trying to care for Dad. I'll remember you in my prayers,
    jana3914 replied to kuntzi's response:
    Thanks so much!
    jana3914 replied to royhays's response:
    Please keep us in your prayers, I will keep you in my prayers .
    hmontem62 responded:
    My mom just passed away 2 months ago and that is the hardest thing to have to except.I feel so alone an sad all the time and i still do not belief she is gone.My sisters and I are trying to find the answers as to why she died even tho she was supposely in the last stages of this nasty diease we still cannot understand why. And before she passed she turned and looked at me and i could not understand what she was trying to say to me. And that is what eats me up daily why i couldn't understand what she wanted to say . thanks for listening to me . so lost without my mom
    cjh1203 replied to hmontem62's response:
    I'm so sorry about the loss of your mother. Losing a parent is so horribly painful.

    Please don't agonize over not being able to understand what she was saying to you. I know it's very frustrating, but it's not your fault that you couldn't understand her. There could be any number of reasons why she was unable to speak clearly at that point, and probably nobody would have been able to understand her -- it's not something you did wrong, but just a physical part of whatever was wrong with her at the time.

    My uncle recently died and he also was in the advanced stages of Alzheiemer's, but it was a stroke that ended his life. We could make out a couple of things he said in the hospital, but most of it was just totally unintelligible. There was nothing anyone could have done about it, unfortunately.

    Maybe your mother was saying, "I love you."

    WebMD has a grief community that might be helpful to you. The people there have suffered heartbreaking losses, too, and may be able to give you some comfort and support. Of course, you're very welcome to continue to post here, too.

    I hope that you will be able to find some peace soon, but I know the heartache never really goes away.

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