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    I am just coming to terms that maybe I do ave BPD...
    Jamilynn06 posted:
    I don't know where to begin. It seems like over the last couple of years I have started noticing how out of place my thoughts & moods are. The simplest thing can set me off. I can go from happy one minute to a raging monster the next. I get frustrate very easliy & I have moments where I'm so upset or anxious that I shake. I have moments where I completley shut everyone off around me & it is effecting the most important relationship in my life. And I feel so lost because I don't know how to fix it. I can't seem to get control over the thoughts in my head. I lay down at night & I am overwhelmed by them. I can't seem to shut my brain off at all. I just want it to all stop. I want peace, control, & balance in my life...
    slik_kitty responded:
    welcome to the board. are you seeing a psychiatrist (pdoc)? are you on meds? are you seeing a therapist? all three of those are very important in living with bp. the meds help with our brains and the therapist helps us to learn coping skills to deal with living. we don't have to be up and down. we can be in control. it takes time, but it will happen. you just have to use the tools that are out there for you.
    Jamilynn06 replied to slik_kitty's response:
    My problem with seeing someone is I have no health insurance & I am low income as it is. My boyfriend suffers from PTSD & is trying to pass on to me what he is learning as far as coping & getting my thoughts & anger straight...other then that & the few books I am currently reading, that's it. I have started keeping a mood journal & behavior journal to help me pin point triggers & such...I am currently looking into clinics for low income that could possibly help....
    jselleck replied to Jamilynn06's response:
    When I was first diagnosed I had no insurance also. I got lucky. There's a Meyer Clinic near where I live. They were wonderful helping me get help. The first pdoc I saw even gave me free meds. Highly recommend them if they're in your area. A word of advice though, some agencies will say they're for low income people to get you in the door, then after a few visits will jack up the costs. Be very careful in who you chose. Wish you all the luck in the world. And if you want low cost meds, try Walgreen's, Sam's Club, or Cost Co. Used to get my meds at Sam's. By law even if you're not a member, they have to give you access to their pharmacies. Any savings club does. Walgreen's also has a prescription savings plan for like $20 a year or so. I think you get a 65 or 75 percent discount with Walgreen's plan. Take care.

    slik_kitty replied to Jamilynn06's response:
    every county in the us has a mental health clinic where you can get help and they charge based on your ability to pay. they will also help you with getting free meds from the manufacturer. give them a call. they are in the govt pages at the front of the phone book.
    Betzy11 responded:
    I was just diagnoised with Bi Polar. I am still trying to figure out
    if I am or not. But the things you said here makes me think I am. I have racing thoughts and it really bothers me a lot. Have trouble sleeping. These racing thoughts are part of the reason that on some nights I can't go to sleep It upsets me so much. I am on medications for it. So the more I hear from others the more I will understand it.. Thank you for the posting.. I also isolate myself very much. Is that part of it??
    Jamilynn06 replied to jselleck's response:
    Thanks. I will have to look into that!
    Jamilynn06 replied to slik_kitty's response:
    I have looked into that but it is so hard for me to get in there on the days they accept new patients. I have to go in on Thursday mornings & do paperwork & then go back in that afternoon & I am always working..
    Jamilynn06 replied to Betzy11's response:
    I do isolate myself at times. I hide in the bedroom from time to time. Sometimes for days, only coming out to go to work. I had an episode like that a cpl of weekends ago. Thank God my boyfriend understands somewhat what I'm going through since he has the some of the same symptoms with his illness. Just educate yourself as much as you can, as I have tried to do. It all just really made sense to me after researching & such...
    Betzy11 responded:
    I know this feeling. I have Bipolar and haven't really come to terms with it. Wish I wasn't.
    But I experience the same things you are going through.
    I am on meds for it. I thought that would stop this?? Thank you for the post.
    Jamilynn06 replied to Betzy11's response:
    Just remember that you do have a choice on how to let things affect you, it may not seem that way, but you do. When I feel it coming on, I make the choice to keep busy & eventually it passes. Too me, it's all about gaining control over my illness. I don't care how many meds I have to take, it's all about gaining control over it so it will stop affecting my life in a negative way. You're going to get through this girl!
    Betzy11 replied to Jamilynn06's response:
    Thank you Jamilynn for your reply.. Going to my doctor He has me come back about every three months. Checks how I am doing and how my medications are working... See him
    tomorrow. Ordered a book on Bipolar. Am going to check into this deeper.
    I don't honestly understand all this yet. Am trying to come to terms with it..

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