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    Changing Psychologist - (Possible????Triggers)
    ssmiddy posted:
    Ok, so my counselor of 1.5 years, who followed one of 10 years, is going to cash only, which I cannot afford at present.

    She gave me the name and contact info for someone who takes my primary insurance, but dang, changing like this is a HUGE stressor!!!

    I mean, dude I saw actually over 10 years died. Then I start seeing this lady, hit it off with her, and all was going pretty good, making progress, etc., now I feel like I'm being thrown to the lions, even though my current counselor recommended one for me.

    My main concern at first was "Do they do CBT? (cognitive behavioral therapy)....but now my fear, after seeing a glorified one, is "Are they just a social worker?

    I have multiple diagnoses, and a social worker could in no way handle my needs. Sorry, they just can't.

    Now, I've just read about this new lady, and apparently she has a "holistic" approach style...I'm not even sure what the heck that means?

    So, I took the first step and contacted this new lady, giving my current lady as a reference, and asked for a new patient appointment. After looking at her website, it appears that she is the ONLY one I'd want to see in her practice.

    Now, I'm gonna take some meds, have a cigar, and then lie on the couch in misery while I watch TV. Yee friggin haw, Ain't life grand!

    ddnos responded:
    Hi Sean,

    Well, I certainly know what it's like to change therapists. This past Dec of 2013 I had my last session with my tdoc of 20 years! Several years prior to ending with her, I literally thought I would die of a broken heart when we could no longer work together, but as you can see, I'm still here.

    To my complete surprise, it has gone FAR better than I thought it would. I have been able to talk with her over the phone once a month just to check in because she didn't feel right about just terminating abruptly after such a long time together. That will go on for a year.

    Anyway, I searched for a new therapist and found one who I thought could work with and did for 3 months. I was surprised that I connected with her right away; but we had to end because of her theraputic method. We both agreed that would be the best thing, but i liked her and was disappointed she didn't work.

    So now I am on the search again.

    You mentioned that you can't afford cash but am wondering how much you could afford because many therapists charge based on a sliding scale fee, i.e. charge based on your income. That's the only way I could afford it and I don't want a therapist that is only on my insurance list in case I didn't like her. So maybe you could do a search on the internet of therapists in your area who practice inn the kind of method you need, and who also charge on the sliding scale fee. Generally, they will give you at least a free 30 min consult appt either over the phone or in person. That way you can sort of interview them and possibly rule them out or not. I have to be able to choose who my therapist is, not dictated to by insurance (unless I absolutely have no choice and the therapist is "acceptable")

    Good luck to you, and I have personally found out that even after 20 years or 3 months, we are more resilient than we give ourselves credit for, and things will work out!

    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    ssmiddy replied to ddnos's response:
    Thank you so very much for the encouragement!!

    I am waiting like a dog on a chain for 9 a.m. to get here so I can call this "new" person. My therapist HIGHLY recommended her, so I know she must be capable.

    I've also had more time to peruse her site, and IF she can't handle me, there are a few others in her practice that may be able to do so. I'm one of those "complicated/multi-diagnosis" people that probably make the therapists as nervous as they do me initially LOL.t

    Today I am feeling better and more confident, and your reply just added to it. I WILL find someone, and even if they have to do a sliding scale cash thing, then ok. And, my now past Psychologist said she would see me for half hour sessions for $40, whereas new patients pay $160/hour, so I do have that going for me. No way on earth I could afford full price. I'm on a fixed, meager income and just couldn't. I suppose I could explore what is available on the Air Force Base, but it is a heck of a drive from here. I can't go to the VA for various reasons we shan't get into here.

    Hell, the base may actually be a good option.......I'll call 'em just for sh**s & giggles.

    Ok, out.
    Grace, Peace, & Warmes Regards,
    bpcookie responded:
    Hang in there Sean. I found my best and favorite tdoc when my other tdoc stopped taking my ins. I found my awesome pdoc in almost the same way. Ya never know, this could be a good thing.

    Take care and good luck.
    Please join my community called GRUMPY GROUPIES ( ) Fun and serious topics, nothing is taboo. So get on over there. Weirdo's are welcomed.
    ssmiddy replied to bpcookie's response:
    I talked OTP to my new "lady" today, and she told me that the only difference between her and a PhD Psychologist was that the PhD could do diagnositcs......I think this is bogus. But is it?
    This is yet a different LSWS/?? something or another.

    Well, I see her tomorrow morning, and will be observing her as close or closer than she is observing me.
    She says she has experience in dealing with people with my diagnoses, which she got from an email I sent to her supervising Psychologist, so we'll see what happens.

    I swear, the moment she tells me to "go volunteer and do something" I'm outta there and will demand to be put on her boss's waiting list. Yeh, if I were able to DO ANYTHING, I would not be disabled 70% (VA) for major depression 30% for a very traumatic injury, have PTSD, Anxiety, Bi-Polar 1, and borderline personlity d/o. Sure, hell, why don't I just go get a job like I've wished for years I were able to do?

    I was a friggin working engineer with a good salary, and now I prefer to be on a fixed income? Gimme a friggin break!

    I'd go back to work right now IF I were ABLE. But I'm not, so I need to deal with the issues I have, and make the best of my FUBAR life.

    My God, I've got a spinal cord stimulator generator in left abdomen, a pain pump in the right, and wires to C-7 for the SCS, plus an intrathecal catheter to C-7 for the pain pump.

    I WISH I could post a pic of my damaged right hand at the time it was injured, with all the black burn, dead skin, and charred bone....hell, before they resected my right index ray, the ER people at my home AFB didn't even think I'd keep the hand.

    So, they resected the index ray & metacarpal, and used the good skin on the back of the finger/hand, flapped it over my palm for a skin graft, and sent me merrily back to work in the USAF. I was then diagnosed with PTSD one day, and the diagnosis withdrawn the next day when they found out I was filing for Disability Retirement, which my injury warranted. Could this have to do with my prior nuclear level security clearance??

    Whatever. Point is, I can not work, and volunteering isn't an option. What if I volunteered somewhere and someone triggered me in a really bad way and I went bi-polar and their a**?? What a scene that would be. On my last job I chased my boss to his office with a pipe wrench. Yep, I'm fit for high stress situations....that's me.

    Now, that's just the tip of the iceberg, and doesn't account for childhood abuse & a TON of family dysfunction as I "grew up". Hell, my wife raised me and taught me how to behave with some class. Before that, I was a misfit, white trash redneck sort of late-teen (we got married at 19 & 18)....and Praise God I have learned that her opinions are always better than anyone else's, and I'm better off to listen to her more than anyone else, cuz she has no agendas, and loves me unconditionally, has kept ALL of her wedding vows, and saw me through a war when she could have easily gone a bunch of other directions.
    But I've digressed.

    Suffice it to say, I'm disabled with a badass attitude, a princess wife, and the heart of a teddy bear, but the mind of an ex-combat soldier.
    That's more than enuf about ME.
    Back to the topic. Ya all wish me luck/pray/meditate/whatever for things to go well for me tomorrow, and/or that my path in life will head the right direction from this point forward.
    Thanks and have a blessed Day!!
    ddnos replied to ssmiddy's response:
    Hello again, Sean!

    Before I say anything else, I must say that I love what you said here, " I'm disabled with a badass attitude, a princess wife, and the heart of a teddy bear, but the mind of an ex-combat soldier." I giggled when I read that!

    Anyway, I think I have just one thing to say re work (don't worry ahead of time lol) - you said re this new therapist, "I swear, the moment she tells me to "go volunteer and do something" I'm outta there" and then you proceeded to explain exactly why you couldn't work.

    So the thing that popped into my head re that is why don't YOU address the issue before she would ever have a chance to? Seriously! Like the first session with her, just lay it all out for her to see. Tell her how you feel about the possibility of her telling and/or suggesting that you volunteer or work so that she knows exactly where you are coming from on the topic from day one - that way, there won't be that "thing" hovering over you, just waiting for the bomb to drop when she says that. You don't know if she would ever suggest such a thing to you, but this way, the power is in your hands, not hers. This will also give her the opportunity to get to know you better on the topic, and cue her in on one thing (topic) that triggers you, especially coming from a therapist.

    So, that's my two cents worth - i.e. give it life on YOUR terms before she does (or might do) on her terms.

    Forgiveness is letting go of the hope that the past could have been any different --Unknown
    slik_kitty replied to ssmiddy's response:
    good luck. i hope that she turns out to be what you need.
    ssmiddy replied to slik_kitty's response:
    Okies, I saw the therapist. It went ok. I told her up front about the volunteering thing. Things went well with the visit, and I think, hopefully, I may be able to mesh with and work with this lady. Whew! OMG what a relief.

    As per usual, I blew things wayyy out of proportion and was ready for war with her over the first wrong word. So, when I went in, I told her I had no problem stating if I didn't want to talk about something or if I had a problem with her. I'm glad I did that.

    Hopefully this issue is resolved, and I've got a good therapist, but only time will tell.

    She's gonna love the answers on the 8 page questionairre she gave me hehehe. This woman won't live long enough to straighten me out. Hell, I'm not sure I will.

    All I know is that if she gets out of my comfort zone with any part of a discussion, I can say so, and the convo will be terminated.

    I see her again Friday I think. Yee ha, It's quite a bit further drive than I'm used to, and her office was hard to find, but I think I got it down.

    Anyway, for now I am, well, ok with it all. We'll see how it progresses.

    Thank you ALL for the comments and stuff. Truly appreciate it!!!! Grace & Peace ~Sean
    ssmiddy replied to ddnos's response:
    you thought that was funny huh? cool, maybe I actually made someone grin/smile?

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