Skip to content


    Attention All WebMD Community Members:

    These message boards are closed to posting. Please head on over to our new WebMD Message Boards to check out and participate in the great conversations taking place:

    Your new WebMD Message Boards are now open!

    Making the move is as easy as 1-2-3.

    1.Head over to this page:

    2.Choose the tag from the drop-down menu that clicks most with you (and add it to any posts you create so others can easily find and sort through posts)

    3. Start posting

    Have questions? Email us anytime at [email protected]

    Visit our Crisis Assistance Link for resources. For immediate help, get to the ER.

    *No Dr Outside Contact Please*
    Sexual Obsession With Ex
    toasted1 posted:
    I was diagnosed with bipolar 11 years ago. Four months after that, my wife, the love of my life, left me. She didn't understand the illness despite a few visits to my therapist. She didn't want to deal with it, and was convinced that I was going to cause her physical harm. She put me through legal separation.

    For the 20 years of our marrasige, our sex life was fantastic. We had sex at least nnce every day. We couldn't keep our hands off eaach other. From the few months when I was having issues, which was before I was diagnosed, until after my meds took full effect, I was uninterested in sex. I still loved her very much, but the urge was just not there.

    After that time period, it came back stonger than ever. I wanted her with great intensity. I discussed this with her a number of times. She wouldn't have it I got frenziedin my desire for her. I talked to her about it more, and barraged her with emails and texts, to no avail. I hate to admit it, but once in complete desperation, I even begged her profusely, crying my eyes out and wringing my hands, stomach in knots.It was no use. There was no emotion, pity, sympathy, empathy from her whatsoever.

    She never told me I was being a nuisance, or harrasing her, or stalking her. She also never responded to texts or emails, some explicit, just left me dangling. I have been obsessed with this for the last ten years to avring degrees. The truth is, and she knows this full well, is I don't want anyone but her.

    The other part of this is, I know her so intimately, I know for sure that she absolutely will not go without sex. She enjoys it way too much. She is very beautiful, sexy, and sultry. She can have any man she wants at any time. She knows this, and I am sure there are a lot of very interested guys around her. My often thoughts about her being with another man make me ill, and keep me up at night even though there is nothing I can do about it..

    I have tried to broach this subject with my therapist, as this has grown to a fevered pitch lately, but unfortunately other serious things going on in my life have prevented that discussion from happening. I am wound very tight, my mind is scrambled, and I don't know what to do or how to get around this. When it comes to the subject of her in general, I just can't move on. Sorry this is so long
    toasted1 responded:
    I posted this two months ago and have gotten no responses or comments. Is this a trigger or non-allowable topic? I really need serious advice here. I am having very intense wet dreams about this nightly now, and some of them are turning somewhat forceful. I don't want it to go any further.
    ddnos replied to toasted1's response:
    Hello, the reason you have gotten no response is because even though technically this site is open, there have been no regular members here for over a year because the site itself started to have a LOT of technical problems that became very frustrating. So people started to stop coming here to the point where it is now, i.e. no regular members attend.

    So, I'm sorry to say that you will need to look elsewhere to find help with your problem.

    "When I'm afraid, the voice of hope whispers inside and tells me that everything will be Ok because hope is not frightened by fear."
    editor_morgan replied to ddnos's response:
    Hello to both Toasted1 and our lovely regular user Debbie,

    First off, Debbie is right. The WebMD message boards have had technical difficulties that we've been trying to work out. But there is some good news! WebMD Community Moderators have been gearing up to launch the new version of the message boards/online communities in a couple of weeks. While some boards are quieter than they used to be, please rest assured that Community Moderators ARE seeing your questions/concerns/stories and we have every intention to answer them and provide support in whatever way we can.

    Toasted1, I highly suggest that you bring this subject up to your therapist. When you are experiencing the obsession, it is hard for you to see what everyone else can see. You are missing out on opportunities for authentic love (a situation where you love someone and they love you back equally) by focusing all of your love and energy into someone who isn't available to you.

    You are on the right track by admitting that you have a problem. Trust me, that's not easy to do. Many people never address their obsession with their ex-mate....needless to say, their obsession gets out of hand and they wind up doing something that they regret. Try taking up a hobby or finding a passion where you are working on yourself and growing as a person. This obsession is merely stifling your growth. When you work on yourself and emanate light and positivity then you become attractive to everyone around you.

    Please speak to your therapist as soon as possible. You deserve to live life for YOU, not for the prospect that someone will one day come back to you. Nurture yourself. Love yourself. We are here for you.

    Here are tips on how to move on from a relationship

    Featuring Experts

    Joseph F. Goldberg, MD, is a Clinical Professor of Psychiatry, Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai, New York, NY. He also maintains a private prac...More

    Helpful Tips

    Differentiating bipolar disorder from borderline personality disorderExpert
    Borderline personality disorder is a condition in which people can very easily become angry and upset in response to stresses -- especially ... More
    Was this Helpful?
    117 of 134 found this helpful

    Related Drug Reviews

    • Drug Name User Reviews

    Report Problems With Your Medications to the FDA

    FDAYou are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.