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    Bipolor disorder
    harrallm posted:
    Ok this is all very new to me. Earlier this year i was diagnosed with bipolor disorder and was put on Abilify and another med. I took the meds for 2 days and i hated it, i felt like a different person, i wasn't with it, i couldn't concentrate, it wasn't me. So i decided that i could change my ways on my own so that i didn't have to take the meds. I do not want to admit to myself or anyone around me that i have a mental disorder. I just can't do it. I have struggled for years with the same problems, without knowing what was wrong with me. If i were to be honest with myself, i would say that i do have bipolar/depression problems. It scares me to death to think that i have a mental disorder though. I had a horrible childhood, i went through alot, I started going to a therapist about 2 months ago, and i have realized how horrible my childhood was, and that none of it was my fault, but i have held all of this in for almost 19 years. So the last 2 months or so have been really rough And then on top of that 3 weeks ago i found my birth family, and my birth mom suffers from severe depression, and alof of famly on my dads side suffers from mental disorders. I wasn't very pleased to find all of this out, but what can i do... The bottom line is..... I need help.... And i'm scared.. The words mental disorder scare me. i don't know what to think about it... i was hoping someone had some words of encouragement for me, on how to deal with this....... Thanks for reading...
    slik_kitty responded:
    you have an illness that requires meds and therapy to be able to live a good life. giving your meds only two days isn't even close to giving it enough time to see if it will work. most meds have side effects in the beginning that will go away with time. it takes 4 to 6 weeks for meds to fully take effect. with mental illness in your family then you cannot deny the truth. get to a pdoc and get on some meds. give them time to work. get a therapist to help you deal with your past as well. if you want a good life, then you do what is necessary to get it.

    welcome to the board.
    appyannie responded:
    This is the beginning of fixing the problem. You had two problems a terrible childhood and a negative role model with your dad. So you did not learn to adapt to problems and traumas in healthy ways. But that can change now with good therapy.

    Good luck Annie
    hope7951 responded:
    Bipolar is a genetic incurable illness, but it response well to the right treatment. I was diagnosed in 1980 and have had a wonderful, full and productive life. A physial illness like bipolar is niot do bad. The right meds take care of the physical malfunction of your brain and neurotransmittos as best the can, Cognitive therapy to teach you to distiguish bipolar thoughts/feeling for reality is invavluable. Learning a wide variety of coping skills and know that you can take back control for this illness. Taking good care of yourself with sleep, food, exercise, water and leving a balanced scdeuled desressed life will help emensely. Get some books and know yoiur illness. A great stater book is "Bipolar disorder for dummeies" by Canadida Fiink MD. Don't be afraid. Bipolar is like fire...uncontrolled it will burn you house down - contorl and you will have the most outstanding light and warmth.
    Dejavu_ responded:
    Hello Harrallm, I was was also scared when I was diagnosed. But working with a good therapist and doing my own research on my illness I found peace with it. I found it very helpful to learn why I am the way I am and why I act the way I do at times. It was nice to know I was not just crazy that this is a very real illness that can't be helped. I also had a very bad childhood and was also diagnosed with PTSD because of it. I am breaking the cycle that my family has been in for so many years. I want to do so much better for my kids and myself then what they did. You are on the right path seeing a therapist and getting help. Mental illness runs in both sides of my family too. I am doing what most of them would not do I am getting help. It will be ok give it time and know that you are not alone in this. I wish you the best.
    npeterbug responded:
    I know it is scary! I would contact your doctor and tell them the symptoms you are having. IYou might try Concerta. But you need to know it does take time for your body to get use to the medication and those symptoms may pass. Have you applied for social security disability?? Are you able to work??
    harrallm responded:
    Hello. thanks for the info.. I am only 27 i didn't think i could apply for social security at this age. And i am afraid that if i am social security i would lose my 6 year old little girl, because they would think i couldn't take care of her or something.....
    xoxoIYExoxo responded:
    Hello harrallm,

    Glad you have came here, and do not worry, every one here is right, with meds and therapy you will be BETTER than everyone else. Take care of yourself, learn to understand who you are and you will soar miles in the sky above any nay sayers. I am 26 and a parent as well, you will never have to fear losing your child by having BP, as long as you are taking care of yourself. Its if you do not take care of yourself, that the problems will begin. Be safe and good luck on your journey!

    bpcookie responded:
    Hello Harrallm, Its very nice to meet you and welcome to the board. If you go on SS they can NOT take anything or any body away from you. Just because your on SS doesnt mean you cant take care of your daughter. I am on ssd and have been for over 10 yrs now. I raised my daughter with out any problems.

    Glad you found us.
    harrallm responded:
    Thanks for the info.... This is all so very new to me... What is a pdoc?
    bentandbroken responded:
    DelanaW responded:
    I'm glad you came here. It was refreshing to read so many posts from people with bipolar disorder who, like me, are doing so well. I can attest as well that therapy and an effective medication regimen are key to keeping bipolar disorder at bay and leading a fulfilling life. I was struck with bipolar disorder at age 31. I'm now 39 and have been free of mania completely for seven years. Depression has been a tougher battle to fight, but my psychiatrist, therapist, and support network of friends and family have gotten me through those times as well. I am so grateful. If you'd like to read more about my story or others, my testimony can be found at the equilibrium bipolar disorder website, Kay Redfield Jamison is on the board of the foundation. She is a leading psychologist in the field, uniquely qualified because she too has bipolar disorder. I recommend any of her books, especially "An Unquiet Mind." As someone else already wrote, you should read up on your illness. Bipolar disorder impacts everyone differently. You have to become an expect on your own particular case. I wish you the best. Sincerely, Delana P.S. Great friends have taught me that stigma is highly overrated. Don't let bipolar disorder destroy your self-esteem. The people who matter most in your life won't define you by it. Don't define yourself by it, either.
    Evetopcat responded:
    Hi Harralim, Sorry to read your confusion on Bipolar diagnosis. I was diagnosed 20 years ago. This has not affected my life at all. My true friends and family sort of understand, but unless they have bipolar themselves it is very difficult for them to comprehend what we go through. Can I suggest you find yourself a good psychiatrist, like the one I have, through your GP, secondly find your nearest Self Help Group and mix with other people with the same diagnosis. You may like to consider joining the Manic Depression Fellowship - I think their membership is about ?18 per annum. You get a magazine each quarter and it makes good reading. Mainly, do not give up, there are many people diagnosed with Bipolar. I am listening to Robbie Williams at the moment - he has Bipolar. There is a very good book called "Impressive Depressives" and I am sure you will find this uplifting. Good luck. Remember we are unique!!
    MrsStarbuck responded:
    I was diagnosed with bipolar a year ago. I was scared, upset and didn't want to tell anyone. I had to tell my husband and I felt so ashamed. All of the things you are feeling are normal. My doctor started me on Lithium. I felt fine for the first month, but honestly I hated the idea that I had to take medication to be "normal". The side effects made me feel worse. It seemed like I had no emotion at all. I stopped taking the medication against my doctor's advice. I still have bad days, but they are coming further apart. I found that if I am able to talk to someone about what I am feeling and able to get things out, I feel a little better. The problem I keep running into is that I tried to talk to my mom about my condition, but she says its all in my head. Its hard to talk to anyone about how you feel if they dont understand or want to face reality. After looking into my family history I found that my grandmother suffered from bipolar and my mom shows signs also. Like you, to hear someone say mental disorder or "your condition" scared me. What has helped me in a small way, is to not think of bipolar as a mental disorder, but just a mood adjustment. If I feel like I am having a bad episode, I stop take a deep breath and think of something that makes me happy. There are going to be bad days and good days. Keep talking with your therapist. Try to make and keep happy thoughts and memories. And always remember your not alone, there are more people out here going through the same emotions.
    jbilano33 responded:
    Hello, first let me start off saying, DO NOT BE SCARED, a mental disorder does not mean you are NUTS ...I have been suffering from depression and anxiety for along time and I'm here to tell you, try to take the meds, you may have to try several different type to find the right one but do not take for a few days then stop, you have to stay on them for at least 2 weeks to feel a difference. ANother thing that helps me is reading the bible, or spiritual readings. Trust me it helps allot. Please don't give up, take the meds for 2 weeks and still not better tell your Dr to change them up. Take Care,

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