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    herheartismine posted:
    I dont know if this is the right place for me to be, but I dont know of anywhere else to go. I just found out 2 weeks ago that my mom has breast cancer. She is still in the going to the doctors and discussing things and options stage ect....I just dont understand it all.You never think of your parents getting sick,they are super human right?!! I feel so helpless cuz I just moved out of the state like 7 months ago and use to live only 3 miles away from her!! I was on a visit back home when she found the lump and I went to the mammogram appointment with her, but it wasnt until I got back home that I found out. I am very scared and I was just looking for some support and encouragement and light on this. Sometimes I dont know what to say to her,but I want to be her biggest support system!!! If anyone can help me or give me some words of advice or anything to help me be better for her I would really be greatfull!!! Thanx fo listening <3
    jenna291 responded:
    There is a great deal of support and information on this website. You can post to the breast cancer section and receive lots of good feedback.
    Do you have any specifics on the type of breast cancer she has? What stage, what are treatment options?
    Let us know what you can find out, we can share our stories. Everyone here is a fighter, and I know your mom will be too!
    Sending you blessings and positive thoughts ~ Jenna
    herheartismine replied to jenna291's response:
    Thank you Jenna for responding to my post!! My name is Wendy. So far all I know is that the lump has attached itself to her skin and that they are going to have to do a mastectomy on the right side. She is meeting with the chemo doctor soon and they are going to be deciding if they want to start her on chemo and or radiation first to shrink it down some before they remove the breast. I just dont understand that tho. I dont know why they do that if they are removing the whole breast,is that a common thing? I thought they started you on all that afterwards.Does that stop it from spreading before the surgery? She just had a CT scan I think it was and had the dye shot into her. She is meeting with her doctor today(8-9) I think to discuss the results of that ect... I dont know exactly what type it is or what stage yet,but I do know they are removing the breast for sure! I am going to find out.I just know that I am very scared and Im sure she is too!! She tries to be strong but a daughter knows her mom!! Thank you for writing to me, I was very excited to see that I had a response to my post!!!! I hope to chat again with you soon! I just want to be very informational on things for my mom and myself and have someone else to talk to that can give me hope that I can pass on to my mom!! Thanx again~ Wendy
    rachael67 replied to herheartismine's response:
    Wendy, I just responded to you on the main Breast Cancer Community. (I AM SOOO GLAD YOU HAVE POSTED THERE AS WELL!!! That's something I was going to advise. That community is much busier and has many more folks join in discussions. By posting on both, you should get the support and information you are seeking.)

    Make sure you check out the "tips" posted on the right side of the main community...You might find some very helpful as your mom begins her journey.

    I am assuming that Mom had a biopsy and that is how they determined she had cancer, right? The chemo might be given prior to surgery if they feel it would shrink the tumor enough to make surgery not only easier but more precise.

    One thing I might advise is that Mom get a 2nd opinion prior to surgery. Most insurances not only will cover it, but they encourage it. If she is not seeing someone at a Breast Care Center, please see if she can find one for that opinion. They deal with these issues 24/7, are usually the most well-informed and the most up to date both with information as well as testing technology.

    Most of all, I want you to know that what you are doing and feeling is frightening, but also very loving! Don't forget to breathe! Ofen when we are over-whelmed, we hold our breath, hoping that will make it all go back to where it was. It doesn't work, and only increases our tension. So, right now, slowly and deeply, breathe in..and slowly breathe out. Again...slowly in and now slowly out. Continue to do so whenever the world begins to spin out of control. It's a great exercise, most effective and always available.

    You are in my heart.

    PS...Now, go check out the other board!!
    Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly! Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
    herheartismine replied to rachael67's response:
    Rachael~ Than you so much for writing to me and yes I just went to the other board and commented,thank you!

    Yes she had a biopsy done,they took six samples of it I guess. And then she has had a CT scan and the dye put in her body.She meets with her doctor on thursday the 11th and I should hear more when I call her that evening. And then meets with the chemo doctor on the 25th,and I will find all that out too.

    I will mention to her about seeing someone at a Breast Care Center,and having their oppinions on it too, and I hope she will think of doing that!!! I try not to push her,but at times I just want to say "PLEASE just listen to me and do it",lol.... I guess that is me wanting to be in control of all this to help her,and I know she has to do it when she is ready!!

    I so appreciate you and so glad you responded to my post!! It gave me a sence a calming in my heart when I read what you wrote,and again,THANK YOU!!

    And I hope to talk to you again!!
    Warm wishes,hugs and love to you!!
    rachael67 replied to herheartismine's response:
    Glad so many have responded...and even more glad that you are feeling a bit calmer!! Remember that you must take care of yourself if you are going to be able to tend to Mom!

    Keep us posted,.

    Many Blessings.
    Just when the caterpillar thought her world was over, she became a butterfly! Don't give up five minutes before the miracle!!
    jaydbraz replied to rachael67's response:
    Wendy, bless you and mom and come here with any question or concerns , there's lots of support and hopefully answers we all love to share. I check this site daily as I was blessed to have supported my dear wife for her 4 years of battling the bc monster only to succumb to its devastation on April 6, 2006.
    Radiation is sometimes done to shrink the tumor so making it easier to remove the cancer before spreading and listen to your doctors, hopefully someone can be with your mom to be another set of ears and ask question. There are no 'dumb' questions, don't be afraid to speak up and we are here to support you and mom as you travel these days ahead.
    Special blessings to all.
    herheartismine replied to jaydbraz's response:
    Thank you very much for your kind words,and I am very sorry to here about your wife!! This is very new to me and so I have a lot of frustrations at times.I am so glad that people have told me that it is not uncommon to have the chemo or radiation first before the surgery,because I was thinking that maybe my mom wasnt telling me something,and it is good to know that that isnt so.
    My mom does have someone that goes to all of her apts. with her and that is the greatest and strongest man I have ever known:"My Father"!!! He is having a hard time also tho and that also breaks my heart!
    You know ,he told me that he has always been a person that is in control of situations, but this he has no control over and it is difficult for him!! I am very close to my parents and I am the oldest daughter out of two,and so I think I take it the hardest!! I know my sister has a difficult time also,but when things happen she just gets quiet and shuts down. I am trying to explain to her that she needs to not do that and to be herself,but its hard and I understand.So I feel that puts more on me to be there for mom and that is fine,because I wouldnt have it any other way!!! I have always been like that,so no need to change now,right??!!
    I sometimes wonder why God puts so much on us at times,and I get confused,but it doesnt stop me from praying every day and night!! My mom is still so young(just turned 64) and I know that illness has no age barrier or age discriminations,but I still am in a "WHY" stage!!
    Thank you so much for your support,I GREATLY appreciate it!!
    Blessings to you also!!
    jaydbraz replied to herheartismine's response:
    Wendy, Mildred's onco surgeon told me in confidence she had a 40% chance to live 4 years, she lived 4 years and 3 months. This was a burden I carried all that time and never shared with my 4 children or Mildred. She was a young 70 when she passed, we were married over 51 years and I had known her for over 57 years. Miss her everyday, BC friend to friends board has been mt super friends.
    Blessings now.

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