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    Body Cleanup
    skylark14 posted:
    My hubby just turned 80 and won't change his clothes or cleanup..shave..shower.. etc he had a majort surgery 3 1/2. weeks ago and hasn't showered since..I am 76 and cannot talk him into doing this..he is very depressed ..what can I do? I think I have tried everything to convince him to do this.
    franola responded:
    Perhaps you can check with your city or county to see if they have a list of support options for you.
    Dave Balch responded:
    I can see how this would be very frustrating for you. Here are some ideas (you may have already tried one or more of these):

    1. Find out why he objects; get to the root of his resistance. His answer might be a misunderstanding or something that can be easily overcome.

    2. Start with a compromise, perhaps just change his clothes or just shave. Clean clothes or a shave might make him feel better enough to finish the job.

    3. Emphasize how much better he'll feel once he cleans up; that might be enough to do the trick. Who wouldn't be depressed if they hadn't showered or changed their clothes for a couple of weeks??

    4. Decide to let him be. At least some of his resistance may be that he doesn't want to be told what to do.

    YOU know that a cleanup will make him feel better (and certainly you as well!) and help him out of his depression but, in the end, the final decision is his.
    cjh1203 responded:
    Sometimes, especially in older patients, anesthesia can cause problems with the brain and produce symptoms of dementia. Have you noticed any other changes in him?
    katato responded:
    He may have lost his sense of smell as many elderly people do. He may not be aware that he doesn't smell fresh. He may not want you telling him what to do; do you have a son or daughter, or does he have a sibling that could help?

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