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    What are my rights as a caregiver who`s patient is in nursing home?
    Anon_233834 posted:
    Hello~ I began caring for elderly neighbor quite by accident-just helping her after her cousin passed.It took little time to realize she needed much more than thought & her cousin had handles all including her meds,finances,meals,shopping,MD`s-all.i gladly took all this over & we fast became BEST friends.She had been a social worker which I also had done much of & I had nursing in my back-ground as well as being brought up by both sides of familys' elders & I did lots of elderly & woman(after 3 yrs of 7-days wk care & no $$ for year then only minimal because we just loved ea. other)got compression fractures in back after twisying w/new heavier w/tray walker.Long story here but got her to hospital for X-rays after her MD never responded.We got back home-still no word from her MD.Four days later i threatened them into calling at which time was told they could not drop everything for her & could see her in 2 wks.We let them go & found another.In meantime,time was fast approaching for my yearly trip to NH.Could not cancel as son had house fire & in hotel & they needed help.Eileen & I discussed temp nursing rehab until I got back.I called her brothers(4 bros all elderly as well,1-POA,etc).The latter hadn`t ever been to see her in Fl(27 yrs),never knew her finances(I enlightened him as I was uncomfy w/others money & my lady has a bit of demensia).He all of a sudden decided to visit & hoped/tried to get her in home(for good)within 24 hrs of his arrival.I have legal medical access to records & to have knowledge of what is happening,etc.I came home to take her home(or I would have stayed at sons longer,too!)& was told to back off,I have no rights only as a friend,cannot take her home,out to eat-or anything!? We are BOTH hurting & confused.There has also been HUGE degrees of abuse & neglect at this home,her losing 20 lbs,etc.,etc.Do I have rights as the only person in her life all of these years, sacrificing my home/family & life,taking minimal pay,making a SOLEMN promise to her that I would stay by her side & allow her wish to pass on in her home possible? No-one even visited-not just family,near no-one in 3 years?Any ideas will be appreciated as I think I am heart-broken & there`s even much more.M

    Take the Poll

    Do caregivers have any legal rights when client has gone to nursing home and they have been sole person in their life for few years?
    • Yes but you must prove the above to be true.
    • Ask an attorney.
    View Poll Results
    balmayne responded:
    I just sent a long reply to you. I am sorry that you did not get it once I voted on it. I will be back and put my reply in again.

    My main questions in your decisions: 1. Does he comprehend you? 2. I do not know what med stage is like. 3. It is sad, but only caregivers want to know about a person's health. Most people do not want to have anything to do with a person who has Alzheimer's. People need to be educated.

    I hope I am not coming on strong. I really feel for you. I will be back to put in the rest of my reply. Get an attorney so you will be able to put him in a retirement home when the time comes.Another question, can you still take care of him?

    balmayne replied to balmayne's response:
    I noticed that you said, that it is a neighbor you are taking care of. You will definitely need an attorney since you are not a relative.

    I am at the early onset stage of Alzheimer's. I plan on giving my husband a durable power of attorney, so he can put me in a retirement home. I do not want my husband to feel quitlly about it. That way it will be up to him to decide when he cannot take care of me anymore.

    I feel for you. It sounds like his cousin was making all of the decisions. You have been hired to take care of him. It is up to the cousin to make the decisions. Tell the cousin what is going on and let her/him decide.

    It is sad that people who have Alzheimer's are ignored by their families and friends. I feel that it is still "in the closet." People need to be educated about Alzheimer's. My friends are staying by me now. What will happen when I reach med stage?.

    I hope you will answer me.

    moebutterfly responded:
    Hi~ it is said I have 2-replies yet I am unable to see or get to them?
    moebutterfly replied to balmayne's response:
    Hi Ruth- Eileen(she)is totally coherent.She can be forgetful as she has had 3-head injuries in the past but brilliant & quick-witted.She is in a home where there is little/no care-negligent-has fallen 3-times & where they seem to "control" these elders w/fear.Eileen was not there even a month when she was told(whie being helped up from a fall)to "keep her mouth shut-tell no-one 7 behave & come around-or else.Needless to say,she became withdrawn,fearful & subdued after this.Now she has had an episode of SEVERE bleeding with huge clots.I have told them for 3-wks she has a urinary/bladder infection & after 2-wks finally got a urine spec done.Of course she did only now worse-to kidneys? NO xrays,no MD,unable to eat & in severe pain.I was told to stay away at lunch time.She lost over 20 lbs there & didn`t eat UNLESS I WAS there.SO much more!!Lawyers have been contacted-bottom line-I am NO-ONE because I am not related.Further more even Morgan & Morgan(who has sued this home name in other ares)cannot step in unless & until she is hospitalized which they will not do.??? It is NOT just her-every day ppl there are injured visibly & spirits are gone.You can so obviously see this is their posture,demeanor & empty eyes.When I speak to- or touch them,there eyes light up & they look up sheepishly & "smile'.it is unreal sad & and so not right.
    moebutterfly replied to balmayne's response:
    Hi Ruth-I am sure the woman you addressed received your reply.Mine was about the woman-Eileen,not man.You are kind!
    balmayne replied to moebutterfly's response:
    Hi moebutterfly, Eileen should be moved to another place. There are good places that care for their clients. I hate the word patient. Client is the correct medical term, although they use patient instead.

    In Eileen's case she is a patient. The word patient means to suffer.

    I would go to an attorney and see what your right's are as a caregiver.

    Thank you for saying that I am "kind." I care for people and want to support people. I am glad that I am helping you. You have a hard time being a caregiver. It is not easy making the right descision.Let me know what happens.

    HUGS, Ruth
    moebutterfly replied to balmayne's response:
    Hi Ruth; Got Morgan & Morgan which I couldn`t do until Eileen went to hospital-which she did-FIVE days after bleeding out! I asked cooperation of hospital social worker to be present day investigator was coming (& to be a witness)...instead,a host of people were present including the nursing home MD who Eileen never saw before.They gave Eileen a great number of meds & then she didn`t even know who she was.Investigator left a bit put out & never even spoke to me!.That was the day I was to become POA when Eileen signed...they made sure she could not.A couple of days later when I was visiting Eileen the social worker came in & asked me to follow her to her office right away.There was a nurse(so-called)present as well.Neither looked at me at all-social worker stated i was to leave the premises & no longer allowed on that property for any reason.I asked why-she said I had slandered the home.I told her there was a huge difference between slander-& the truth & that Eileen had been neglected,fallen & injured on 3-different occasions,threatened & intimidated,given improper diet,not all of her necesary meds & left unclean & then to bleed nearly to death before a response-they just got up & walked out with me...followed me down corridor,onto elevator & off towards door.I asked if I was being excorted out-Yes! I was.I said-Neat! Thank you.Eileen was brought back to the home next AM where she has been unresponsive & in fetal position ever since,not eating & just waiting to die.And,I "know" she knew when I was with her & I was ALL she had here! Her POA brother is a cold-hearted man & the home needs to be closed.W/out Eileen,I have no proof as i am sure they doctored the records.There were MANY aids & a couple of nurses on my side & I have all documented by dates plus sent such in great detail to a couple of Eileen`s family members who kept them all but that is all.And,the workers there said if I mentioned what they told me & that they were in agreement with me,that they would lose their jobs...most there hate it yet there are so few jobs! So,I am mourning my lovely lady & praying for God to take her quickly & "trying" to forgive her brother feeling empty & very upset that I am unable to have helped not only Eileen,yet all of the others there-in the same boat.This has been THE worst experience in my life & I am waiting to doscover a lesson in all of it? Thank you for your response! Blessings***,Maureen
    moebutterfly replied to moebutterfly's response:
    Oh,on the above,as I was writing,i got a message & believe a sentence was blipped out which was the following;The day "after" the investigator came to hospital,Eileen was released back into nursing home custody & couple of days after that when I was asked to leave Eileen`s side & the home.

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