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    Ectopic Pregnancy @ 6weeks--3 weeks later HELP!
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    rrushi1 posted:
    I am running this through in my mind everyday, and I still can't believe I'm here again. I had a MC in 8/09. My hubby and I tried for 13 months, got PG and @ 6 weeks had U/S and found tubal pregnancy on 10/13/10. I am 3 weeks past this, and I still have odd pains and hormonal changes. My numbers jump and then barely jump. I can't seem to be happy. I don't know how to handle this because everyone tells me to get over it. Even my Hubby wants me to get over it. He's very loving and supportvie, but he has no idea what it's like to go through this physically. I just want to be happy again. I have come to the realization, that I may never have a baby/child. And I'm okay with that. Sort of. I have no faith. No hope. No nothing. Im hurting so badly. I just want this to be over. THanks for letting me share this and vent. It feels good to get it out.
     
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    FrmGirl responded:
    I'm so sorry for your loss. (((hugs))) I know it is hard to see the whole world turning as it should all the while thinking, "Shouldn't you at least slow down to grieve with me??!!!" It is hard. Daddies do go through grief and try to support us mommies but I don't think they truely understand the loss we go through.
    I really hope you can find some peace. Three weeks isn't very long. Give youself some more time. For those that want you to get over it...if they say it to you again just say in the sweetest, nicest voice you can muster: "Aw...bless your heart. You have no idea what I'm going through yet you want me to get over it." Then walk away. They'll get the idea and you will be nice. Win/win. That is only a suggestion, of course, and you may not want to say it to your DH. Up to you.
    Anyway...I hope things get better for you. Lots of love sent your way.
    ~Hannah
    Hannah(28)DH(26) M/C 2007(blighted ovum) Early delivery 2008 (23wks) Jude: May 21, 2008 - May 31, 2008; Gabriel: (adopted) Feb 2010.
     
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    BabySamba responded:
    Hi,
    I know how you are feeling. It is going to be 6 weeks on Tuesday that I lost my baby at 6 weeks. My honey just assumes that I am better. I think I am trying to put on the brave face. I have been eating healthy, working out and keeping myself busy with work. The past two weeks I have been feeling ugly and fat and tired and just alone. People at work don't know what happened but they always ask what's wrong. This drives me mad. I thought that I was feeling better but then I am just not myself. I have a friend that told me that I didn't give myself enough time to grieve. When I think about it, I probably didn't. After reading the postings today helped me cry for the first time in 3 weeks. Just hearing other stories help. I haven't been here in a few weeks and I think I need to come on-line more often. I know you are hurting but there are a lot of us out there that are hurting too. Talking on-line helps to just vent and cry. Take care of yourself and cry.
     
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    rrushi1 responded:
    Thanks you guys. Turns out that after I potsed this, last Thursday morning I was rushed to surgery after terrible back pain/pain on my side. I guess the methotrexate did not work at all. Again, I was the odd man out. 90% of the methotrexate works, and again, I was the 10% of the lucky one that required surgery and lost my right tube. I can't stop crying. I think what hurts most is that I may never give my hubby a baby. That is what is killing me. He could have married someone else that would give him that. Just breaks my heart. I can't believe this happened. I thank everyone that posts, because it truly feels like I'm the only one in the world going through this. Everyone on FB is posting their pregnancy (literally like 5-6 in the past 2 weeks). Talk about a big slap in the face. And it's not like they shouldn't be happy, because they have no idea what I'm going through. Well, some do, but still. I mean, I don't even have ONE child. Two preganancies and nothing. Oh well. I'm sure I'll get over this like I have to. Thanks for listening.
     
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    FrmGirl replied to rrushi1's response:
    When we lost our son and finally gave in to the fact that we may never have a child of our own I actually told my husband that he could divorce me to marry someone that could give him a child. He, of course, reminded me that he married me for better or for worse.
    I know how you feel. I felt so guilty about not being able to give my DH a biological child. Sometimes I still do. We adopted a child and he is helping to fill the holes in our hearts but they won't ever fill completely, as yours won't either. They may get smaller, but they won't go away.
    When we lost our son people were afraid to tell us they were pregnant. I wanted to be excited for them, and I was. However I also wanted my son back. I wanted the child that I didn't get to keep. I know you are happy for them to some extent. It's ok to cry about it. It's ok to grieve the loss of not only your child but also your right tube. It's ok to feel guilty as long as you understand it is not your fault. Nothing that you could have done could have changed anything.
    I really hope the best for you. It will get better...eventually. Continue to give it some more time. Cry if you want. Yell if you want. Pray. Talk about it if you want. Keep coming to this board. We are all here for you and wish you the very best.
    ~Hannah
    Hannah(28)DH(26) M/C 2007(blighted ovum) Early delivery 2008 (23wks) Jude: May 21, 2008 - May 31, 2008; Gabriel: (adopted) Feb 2010.
     
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    ca1984 responded:
    rrushi1
    Sorry about your loss. I recently lost my child 06/06/2011 by a tubal pregnancy. I was 7 weeks and 2 days. The day after my surgery my spouse wanted a divorce. It was the most painful situation ever. I still cry almost every night because I felt that I failed. That I gave up on my own child. Its been over a month now but it feels like yesterday. At least you have a husband there by your side. Friends and family told me that I need to move on too. I know I will move on eventually but right now no. It takes time. But when I do I will never forget. I will always miss my baby:(

    -Staying strong
    cw1984
     
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    ErinFram responded:
    I'm so sorry for your loss. I know exactly how you feel. My hubby and I didn't think we could conceive, so I had resigned myself to never having children. May of this year I found out I was pregnant. Literally, the next day I start m/c. After it happened I questioned myself, God, and anything I could think of. I wanted to know why some people had kids and I didn't/couldn't. I felt like a total basket case. Then, in June, my husband was hospitalized for 2 months. I then realized that what happened was for a reason. I still think about being pregnant every day. But, I know that if it happens, it happens. And if it doesn't, there is probably a reason. Others my think differently, but it's what keeps me going. I wish all the best for you and for all of us ttc.
     
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    RoseLynn02 replied to ErinFram's response:
    Have you ever considered adoption? I was adopted & I know there plenty of kids in the world who need a loving home. Have you ever looked into it? Just curious.


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