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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    Thanksgiving Day Confessions 11/15 thru 11/24
    GuardSquealer posted:
    It is just a little over a week away. So what do you have planned this year? Cooking at home? Going to relatives? How many are going to restaurants this year? What's your favorite dish that you generally only have for thanksgiving?

    Do you have any favorite thanksgiving day memories? Worst memories?
    GuardSquealer responded:
    The last few years we have been going to my Uncle's for Thanksgiving day dinner. My cousins were all a few years older than my daughter and my grandma babysat all of them. Actually babysat my daughter, picked them up from school. So she loves them all. She really likes going to see them and they tease her. We all have the same sense of humor on my dads side of the family. So it gets pretty rowdy.

    For a few years we did dine out to avoid the whole family issue. I actually enjoyed going out for dinner it is a lot less work and a lot of nice places have great dinners for the holidays.

    Both my best and worst memories revolve around my mother. For one she worked at a MR/DD facility for many years. And the clients that didn't get to go home for the holidays she felt sorry for. So she would bring them to our house for dinner. They had money for such activities so she would order everything from a grocery store. We would pick up the clients and the food and bring them to the house. Of course at the time I was young and it was kind of weird to me. And a little embrassing if my friends would find out. At that age kids don't appreciate acts of kindness.

    Looking back it obviously was a great thing that she did for them, and I feel lucky to have been able to help her with it. If she still worked there I am sure we would still be bringing them home for the holidays.

    I can also recall lots of battles with her around the holidays. She was always easy to set off this time of year also.

    My wife makes a wonderful corn pudding that we usually have this time of year. And of course she makes her cookies.
    tmlmtlrl responded:
    I'm hoping my best friend and her kids will make it here for Thanksgiving this year. Don't have confirmation yet! I will have dinner here at my house.

    I have sooo many memories of Thanksgiving, all of them good. For many years we went to 2 - 3 different dinners in one day, UGH! Crazy.

    A few years ago we went to San Diego and had it at my brothers apartment. We spent the day at Coronado Beach and ended up eating dinner at like 9:30 at night!

    My best friend and I have had our own dinners too. We would gather any people we knew that didn't have a dinner to go to and have them over.

    Dinner is always awesome. Family, friends, food, sun, snow, beach, yeah good stuff....and football, can't forget the football, lol. Plus my oldest son's b-day is the 27th so we always have another reason for celebration!

    Thank you for the reflection Guard. I am blessed

    Oh, and I've never went out for dinner on Thanksgiving. That reminds me of the Christmas Story and them eating at the Chinese restaurant!
    Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
    cfisk responded:
    Lots of good memories of big family gatherings, watching the Macy's Parade on tv, and one year I even went to the Macy's Parade and stood on Central Park West watching the floats go by. The marching bands were the best part, though.

    It was a really windy day and this was the infamous year when the Cat In The Hat giant balloon hit a lamp post and knocked it down and the lamp post hit a spectator. She was knocked out cold and they had to get an ambulance squeezed in the crowd to pick her up.

    After that year the city was a lot more worried about windy days because they were concerned about liability issues.

    Thanksgiving during my freshman year in college was weird and I bet a lot of people can relate to this.

    That Thanksgiving visit home is often the first time that you're coming home after being away at college for two and a half or three months and it's an adjustment.

    I remember being thoroughly depressed because I missed my new boyfriend. You know how it is, you fall madly in love with your first college boyfriend and then you have to go home for Thanksgiving and you're thinking, "OMG, I won't see him until Sunday night and that's five days from now, how will I survive?!!!" I can smile about it now.....
    SC_Cat responded:
    Me and my son will be going to visit my parents for Thanksgiving. Don't want to be home without my older son. This is the first Thanksgiving that we won't be spending as a family. It will be depressing without him being here. I don't know how military families get through all of these holidays.

    Memories from my childhood are of going to my grandparents and all of my cousins being there... total chaos but lots of fun...

    Keep our troops in your prayers... They will still be all over the world on Thanksgiving day protecting us...
    candy352 responded:
    My SO and I will be taking a road trip to PA. Can't wait, I'm so excited. It's beginning to become a tradition. His family has a big get together each year and we eat at one of his aunt's house. I'm going to enjoy the cooler weather. Tired of this Florida heat. I'm hoping that there will be someplace I can watch the FSU/UF game on that Saturday. That's somewhat of a tradition for me. I can't wait for the pecan pies. YUMMM!!!!!
    Candy 26, DF 36, PG with 1st child, EDD 1/6/12
    tmlmtlrl replied to candy352's response:
    I confess it still really bothers me that MCK disappeared from here the way she did. I don't get a good feeling about it.
    Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
    stephs_3_kidz responded:
    We're staying home, and I sucked it up and invited people to eat with us. That's a big step for me. Usually my mom comes but we have 4 extra people coming this year. So there will be 10 of us instead of 6.

    I'm keeping it simple, and I asked the others to bring drinks and desserts since I'm covering the hot foods. DH's work always gives them a turkey so that's covered, just gotta cook it.

    I'm actually looking forward to the holidays this year. I've decided to simplify, cut back on things (who needs 10 side dishes when they just go to waste?), prepare ahead of time, and relax.

    I have fairly decent holiday memories involving my many cousins. We used to all get together (about 30 of us!) along with my aunts, uncles, grandparents, but we don't do that anymore.

    I really miss seeing my brother for the holidays. Thank you US Army.(Although we don't have much of a relationship these days anyway)

    I also really miss my dad and my grandmother. My dad never got to meet any of my kids, and my grandmother (who raised me) died 2 years ago. I miss them a lot.
    Foreverinyoureyes2 replied to stephs_3_kidz's response:
    We have a bitter-sweet Holiday season ahead of us, I fear.

    Happily, Steve's dad will be moved into his assisted living facility in our town soon, and will be able to share Thanksgiving with us. He has never been with us on the actual day, so this is new and fun and exciting for everyone in the family. Steve will be dealing with move details this weekend, and the weekend after Thanksgiving, so he will be MIA a little bit, and that disappoints me a little bit, but I totally support anything that has to happen to get my father-in-law settled up here, with us.

    On a sad note, Steve's ex is not doing well at all. She stays at her parents farm about 40 minutes from our hometown most of the time, and only see's the kids maybe once a week for a very short visit. She sleeps about 20 hours a day. Steve feels sure that she will not likely make it through Christmas. Her body is just weak, tired and frail.

    Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday and always has been. I love the cooking, and having family around, and I am just all about a holiday that causes people to reflect on the blessings that life offers. We do the traditional going around the table and talking about what we are thankful for before we start to eat Thanksgiving dinner, and the kids have always made me proud of them or laugh at them. When Mal (my oldest daughter) was 4, when asked what she was thankful for she said VERY seriously, "I am thankful for pretty dresses and high heal shoes." I treasure those moments....
    3point14 responded:
    This year I only have responsibilities to "my" family, not M's as they'll all be on vacation. As much as I'll miss them a lot, I'm so glad to spend time with my family! I'm going to do dinner at my Moms' side of the family, and then dessert with my Dads' side of the family.

    I hate my fathers parents. His Dad is straight-up cruel and his Mom was too f*** up to give my Dad a decent childhood. A lot of the ways I don't like my Dad, I see in his family. I very much didn't even want to go see them, but my Grandfather is dying and it means a lot to my Dad that I go visit. M will be the first fella I bring around, and I'm sure my Grandfather will make a big deal about the fact that he's not Italian. Ugh.

    I love with my family when we go around the table and say something we're thankful for. It's a little lame, but so touching.

    My worst memory was two years ago. My then-boyfriend gave me the best week saw my favorite band, hung out in Boston, did the whole family thing, tucked me in Sunday night and said "I'm leaving you, don't contact me". I found out recently he went through my phone and thought I was sleeping with someone (which I wasn't). So while I understand now, it killed me then. He's a nice guy, we're friends again, but he's kind of a sociopath and I know better than to trust him.

    Thanksgiving usually starts a few week long bender that lasts until the second of the new year. I drink a lot, I party a lot, I don't sleep a lot. I see a lot of family and friends, and cook meals and desserts and it's just a ton of fun. I think I'll be doing that again this year, and it's not as self-destructive as it sounds. Really looking forward to it, it's like my spring break...woohoo!
    queston responded:
    I'm flying to my parents' place in the Detroit area on Monday. We're buying one of their cares from them. (We don't really need the car, but it's time for my Mom to not drive anymore, so them having only one car will be a good thing.)

    I'm driving the car, with them in it, to my sister's in St. Louis for Tgiving, then taking it home. The rest of my family will come there for Tgiving and my parents will fly home.

    I'm looking forward to seeing them, although it can be frustrating. My mom has some dementia and repeats the same questions and statements a lot. My dad had the patience of a saint with her but sometimes it just drives him nuts. 10 hours in the cas together should be, uh...interesting.
    tlkittycat1968 responded:
    We're going to my parents' house for dinner. In years past, we've gone to other relatives' houses for dinner but lately we've just been staying in town. Cousins will be invited as will my SIL's dad. My brother and SIL will be there. Last year my brother who lives in Germany was there with his "friend" and their son. We hadn't seen him in two years so it was great. Other family came the Sunday before Thanksgiving and at one point there were 14 kids ages 6 and under at my parents' house.

    One year we went to my uncle's house and when DH and I walked in, there were tables and chairs in the living room. DH thought there were too many tables and chairs but there ended up not being enough. It was the first time DH had see my dad's family all together.

    I confess I'm glad DH's parents are Jehovah's Witness. They don't celebrate any holidays or birthdays so we never argue over whose parents' house we're going to for the holidays.
    darlyn05 responded:
    I will be making a Turkey with all the fixings. Thanksgiving is a bit different from Christmas because there are no presents or new games to play from presents. So the childrens' excitement level will be more low key. Of course there will be plenty of Christmas preparation activities to do with them. Very exciting!
    Efficient01 replied to tlkittycat1968's response:
    tlkittycat, i am just curious about your husband's parents being Jehonvah's Witness. Was your husband the same when you met him? I am just curious how he feels about celebrating holidays that must not have meant anything before you were married? My cousin also married a man that was raised a JW. It took a long time for him to feel comfortable celebrating. But now, he is the first in line to start inviting people over for dinner!
    alaska_mommy responded:
    We will be heading to DH's aunt's house for Turkey Day. I really would rather spend it with my family, but I'll go along so as not to make waves. Both his aunts are sisters, who married brothers, they are half Filipino, half Irish and can be very controlling. At the same time the cousins can be a lot of fun to hang out with, but I still will breathe a sigh of relief when we are on our way home.
    DH invited my dad to come along with us, since he and Mom are divorced he doesn't have anyone to spend it with. I think that will be good, hopefully not awkward in any way.
    Christmas will be with my family, thank goodness.

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