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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    That time of year again...
    tmlmtlrl posted:
    It's the kids' dad's birthday tomorrow. I'm crying my eyes out once agaiin. Tomorrow night is also parent's night at the football game. Our son is a senior and I will be walking him out on the football field. I have so many emotions going through me about that I don't know what to do besides cry. I can't hlep but feel he will be with us someway.

    I think I'm looking for encouraging words. I really appreciate all of you and hope you're out there reading this.

    For those who don't know: my children's dad died in a car accident while I was pregnant with our second. 8yrs ago now. He died 2wks after his birthday (25 y/o). My dear husband now, his birthday is the day after their dad's birthday. It's just a lot of emotions for me to process all at once maybe.
    Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
    3point14 responded:

    Words are so insubstantial, but know that my heart goes out to you. It's ok to just cry, let your emotions flow.

    Of course the kids' Dad will be with you. He lives on in your children, and the wonderful job you're doing raising them. You're in charge of the legacy he gets to leave on this earth,and by being the best mother you can be you're making sure that his spirit will always, always live on.

    I can't even begin to conceive of what you're going through, and you're a stronger woman than I to reach out for help and support. I wish there was something I could do to make your hurt go away, or some words to help you along with this. Just remember that you are a wonderful woman.
    tmlmtlrl replied to 3point14's response:
    Thank you very much Pi. Music is a big trigger for me. I was painting a room and listening to music... song after song after song were just pulling the tears out. I'm trying to be strong enough to actually talk to someone about this. So far, like last year, it's only been on this board.

    I'm really not sure how I'm going to make it through tomorrow night without crying. Tomorrow itself will be hard enough. On top of it our son is a Senior in High School. It's a milestone. He's only 16 right now. It's a lot to take in.

    I know how proud his dad would be right now. He always was. I miss him. I miss who he was to his son. I'm sorry I can't give any of that to our kids. My husband is an incredible man and a great father. He's just a very different kind of father.
    Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting different results.
    3point14 replied to tmlmtlrl's response:
    Music can definitely be a big trigger for me too, I totally feel ya on that. Are there any songs you could listen to to remind you of happy times with him? Not "I miss you" songs, but "I love you" songs? Maybe if you just give in to your sadness and tears before tomorrow night, you'll be able to hold yourself together better?

    That being said, if you cry tomorrow cry. Big deal. This is a huge moment in the life of your family and you won't be the only one in tears. Bring some Kleenex and don't angst or feel guilt about it. You're a human being, a kind, emotional human being. It's ok to cry.

    That's really, really impressive that your son is 16 and a senior. You must be so proud.

    Try to find someone to talk to if you feel up to it. You would probably feel so, so much better. I wish you so much peace, hun.
    BalconyBelle responded:

    I can certainly understand why you're having a tough time--& I think Pi is right on the money--have a good cry tonight, let it all out, and maybe you'll feel a little more centered tomorrow. If you still cry a little, it's no big deal.

    I know where you're coming from with the memory of death preceding a birthday. It happens to me every year in June. The anniversary of my miscarriage, followed by my birthday & the marking of another year of my life without my daughter. It's been 3yrs now...and it's always a rough couple of days. I never forget her, but it's so hard to get into a celebratory spirit about life immediately after being reminded she never had a chance to live hers.

    You've accomplished so much, and it sounds as though you & your husband have raised the kids to be a credit to your marriage and the one that went before Congratulations on reaching those milestones, and ((Hugs)) again as the week rolls on. I'll be thinking of you, and wishing you and your family the best of luck and joy going forwards.
    kristinmarie722 responded:
    (((HUGS))) Just wanted to let you know I am thinking of you and hope that the day went by with some peace.

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