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    This Exchange simulates the original Couples Coping Support Group. It is designed to help persons with concerns in their relationships, family, marriage, seperation, divorce, etc.Offering a wide range of real world, personal experiences, information, knowledge, suggestions, & views from real people.
    itsashayduh posted:
    This is going to be kind of a long story, but here it goes.
    The is the guy that my husband and i used to know. We stopped hanging out with him about 2 years ago because he is very creepy.
    Now i have received an e-mail from him and it sounds like he is blackmailing me. He states that he has a picture of me with someone that is not my husband.
    The thing is, i have NO idea what he is talking about or what this picture has in it.
    My husband and i have been together since i was 14. I am now 22. The last time i was with any one other then my husband was when we were split up when i was 17. And even then, there was no sex, just kissing and having fun being a teenager. But i never told my husband about any of that. It was just kinda swept under the rug when we got back together months later.
    And for this guy having a picture, like i said, i have no idea what he is talking about. And i know that the only time i have not been with my husband is when we were not together. But i am afraid that if he knows, it might break his heart. And i am in love with my husband and i dont want to hurt him at all.
    Now the question is as follows.
    Should i talk to my husband and tell him what is going on? Or should i call this others guy bluff?
    Because as of right now i am physically ill over this situation. I cannot eat, i am shaking and i am feeling very depressed.
    I dont want to hurt my husband, but i also would not want him to find out because of some sick creppy person. HELP
    fcl responded:
    Stop letting this eat at you. You have nothing, absolutely nothing to reproach yourself, right? Tell your husband about this guy and what he's threatening. What's the worst thing he could have? A photo of you kissing someone? When you were broken up at the age of SEVENTEEN (you were a child, for goodness sake!)? Please tell your husband, don't hide it.

    Secondly, how on earth would anyone ever have been able to get a photo of you with someone else? This is all a sham. The guy is immature (as well as creepy) and is just trying to scare you. People get their kicks in strange ways sometimes.

    Show your husband the email. Be open with him. It's not going to break his heart to learn that you kissed someone else when you were not together. Do you think he didn't kiss anyone else around that time? Ask him what he thinks you should do about it (I'd be inclined to go to the police with it if it's clear he's blackmailing you - nip it in the bud). Just please get this out in the open so you can stop stressing and get back to living your life again.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    itsashayduh replied to fcl's response:
    I think this is the over all best advise that i have gotten with this situation. THANK YOU!
    GuardSquealer replied to itsashayduh's response:
    I agree totally with FCL. If you haven't already told your husband do so. Best way to deal with a problem is to disable it. By taking the power away for the guy you disable him.
    itsashayduh replied to GuardSquealer's response:
    It did tell him. And now the other guy is going to be going to jail =D So it all worked out just great!
    BalconyBelle replied to itsashayduh's response:
    fcl replied to itsashayduh's response:
    I bet you feel as if a huge weight has been lifted from your shoulders! I am glad things worked out for you!
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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