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    Living with a depressed husband
    Ellen51 posted:
    Can anyone relate? Lving with a husband that is going thru another period of meds stopping? It's draining me and am looking for my inner power. Sometimes it goes away . I think of people that have dying partners...At least there is hope and he has had good years. But I am a mess......hard times ...causing economical issues, dealing with sadness, anger, frustration, fear of being like this forever, lonely, Any tips for feeling out of control?
    sullygrl99 responded:
    I can very much relate. My husband and I both have depression, but I take meds and see a therapist pretty regularly. He stopped therapy and taking medications. I just keep trying to remember I have no power over his actions. I try to encourage him to take his meds, especially since he says he doesn't have any side effects from them (he says he doesn't notice a difference at all taking them, but many of our circle notice a huge difference when he does). And then I just try to take care of me, because that's all I can do...
    itmatsb responded:
    To both Ellen51 and sullygrl, You should take some action by setting boundaries on your relationship. Otherwise your spouses have no reason to take any action. I have seen mega postings just like yours on another website. The best ones are from women who took action to tell their husbands that if they didn't take action to get counseling and take meds, that they were going to leave them. It worked well for the ones who posted.

    And then there was the heartfelt one from a husband who said that when his wife finally did leave him, he realized how much she meant to him and his life. But then it was too late. His wife had had enough of him and wouldn't come back. So he pleaded with other wives to leave their husbands sooner than later so that they could save their marriages. Now that won't always work. Some men are never going to change, but then why stay with them? Don't spend the next 20 years as some women have and throw away your happiness and lives.

    And BTW, I suffered with severe depression for years (before the newer anti-depressants were available), but I always took every avenue to try to treat it. Wish you both well.

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