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    Deteriating health, Mental and Physical
    avatar
    needsomefun posted:
    I've already posted but it didn't save to my "watchlist".
    In a nutshell, I have been bullied at almost anywhere. I am now lonely and exhausted. I value friendship and love, I had tried to be more social, they just don't appreciate it. Tried dressing nicely, talkative and being humorous.

    Although I am sincere, they still label me as "eccentric". In the past, a guy left me for another girl, he said that I am an easy target and he's tired of defending me.

    I've struggled to live a better life, I guess it will never improve.
     
    avatar
    magnusmalermann responded:
    Dear Needsomefun: I have found myself in your situation many times in my life. Bullied, made fun of, eccentric, an "easy target" (and by the way, what kind of people do you interact or hang out with that use you as an easy target?). They must not be very nice.
    I have found that the only thing that works for me is for me to get involved in some activity that I really care about, whether it is artistic, scientific, helping, taking classes, religious, etc. It is places like that where I can find people similar to me. I always take it slow, but eventually I can sometimes find a friend to go to coffee with or whatever, and sometimes a stronger bond develops. What NEVER works for me is parties, bars, concerts, music performances, and the similar. I try to steer clear of places where alcohol or drugs are involved when I am looking for friendship because in my experience alcohol or drugs mess even good nice people up too much. (I have nothing against alcohol or drugs per se, although I find they do not improve or enhance MY personality or chance of developing real friendships!)
    Good luck. I know how you feel. For me, eccentric people are the only ones worth knowing! Don't give up.There are more people out there like me.
    Best regards.
     
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    needsomefun replied to magnusmalermann's response:
    Thank you for your reply. Currently, I only do activities that I enjoy. Nonetheless, I have recently caught off guard by a fellow student who acted naive. A triggering event has finally given me this insight. Everyone else have noticed it all along, I am the dumbest one.

    Pls don't say to me that I am too suspicious. Thank you.
     
    avatar
    editor_morgan responded:
    Hi needsomefun,

    Please let me share with you my favorite quote.

    "Happiness is beneficial for the body, but it is grief that develops the powers of the mind." -Marcel Proust

    Yes, you've gone through these things, from being bullied to suffering relationship issues. Things that have made you feel chronically alone. But it is going to be these exact things that strengthen you mentally.

    Have you spoken to a mental health professional about what you are going through? Or have you looked into group therapy? I think that group therapy will be an incredibly useful tool for you to not only meet new people (and potential friends who understand you), but to be reminded that you are not alone and that so many people are coping with the same things you are. You can read about the benefits of support group therapy here.

    People who focus excessively on your appearance or judge you for being eccentric are not the people you want to surround yourself with. You don't deserve to be bullied because you are different and certainly not for the way you look or dress. Beauty comes from the inside...and the sooner that you build the confidence that you are beautiful and valuable, the sooner it will be easier to let judgmental people go so that you can accept loving and supportive people in their place.

    If you know yourself and your value, then no one can tell you your worth. Click here to read more about self-esteem.

    Life is precious. Don't give up hope. We are here for you ((hugs)). You are not alone.


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