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    Caprice_WebMD_Staff posted:

    Dear Members,

    Our WebMD communities are a wonderful place where members find friendship, support, insight and share ideas. However, please keep in mind that this community is not a substitute for talking with your doctor or therapist. And this board cannot provide the immediate and direct support needed should you ever need help keeping yourself safe. In that instance, please don't hesitate to call a crisis line.

    Our expert, Dr. Schwartz, can offer guidance and information but not direct therapy, nor can he respond to each and every post. Our experts volunteer their time here while often taking care of their own busy practices.

    Our moderators (the ones you see with 'WebMD_Staff' after their names) are not health professionals. They are here to create a safe environment for you to get the support you need. Our moderators often have many communities to take care of and cannot be here 24/7 which is why we so appreciate the wonderful regulars who reach out to help each other here.

    There may be occasions when you come across a post which could use a moderator's quick attention either because it violates our Terms and Conditions or because someone is in crisis. Please know that when you report something, it is not automatically removed nor does any other member know that you have reported their post for one reason or another.

    Here are some of the kinds of things you will want to report:

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    • Someone planning suicide and needing our attention

    We have a wonderful tool which allows members to send alerts simply by clicking on the "Report This" link found below each post. You even have the opportunity to explain why you are reporting something. The moderator staff will receive that report and will review the post to determine whether or not it violates the WebMD Terms and Conditions or if the person needs crisis intervention. If the message is in violation of our rules, it will be removed along with any replies.

    Thank you for helping to keep our WebMD communities on track. It really does "take a village," and we appreciate everyone who helps us to keep our communities a great place to gather together in our quest to stay happy and healthy.

    Yours in Health,

    The WebMD Community Staff
    Shansworld31 responded:
    I am a 31 year old female dealing with a lot. I have been a depressed soul for almost 10 years of my life I don't want to own it by I don't know what else to do. I am just so tired all the time physically and mentally. The worst thing is that no one understands...who wants to feel like this all the time everyone thinks its so easy to change. I look in the mirror and I don't even know who I am I just know what I look like. I know that I use to be such a sweet vibrant I'd rather be alone and asleep. I hate my job, I hate being a mother at times because I'm too tired to control my child. I hate being a girlfriend because all my boyfriend does is complain that I need to change that I need to grow up that he doesn't understand why I'm this way. I don't want to be this way but I don't know how else to be anymore. I've been seeing a therapist off and on but cannot even afford my copay so its not a steady thing nor have I been prescribed any medicine I'm always reading up on how to change and easy ways to help me figure out whats wrong to no avail. I'm at work crying, I have panic attacks all the time. I'm just miserable and want to be alone. I want the world to leave me alone and then maybe I'd be ok. The most hurtful thing is that I am letting my daughters life pass me by, she is nine years old and I don't even have the energy to even do anything with her. I have the energy to lay there and watch a movie with her but that is it and she is very active. My days I don't look forward to anything I never have anything planned. One of the biggest things is that my boyfriend is so active that the things I just get on his nerves because I just want to rest. I just need some rest. I try to go back to where this all stemmed from an abusive relationship and a hard dealt childhood. It was fairly easy but it was hard to me because my parents sheltered me my whole life they let me walk out into the world so to say naked. I knew nothing and still feel like I don't know anything then I just see the world passing me by a new generation and here I am getting older and not knowing even half of what they know. I do know that I don't want the negativity of my boyfriend bringing me down even more because he doesn't understand and his words make me want to bury my head in the sand. Maybe I need to be by myself to get MY life together so that I can be a better person and a better mother to myself...........I am so confused please help me.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to Shansworld31's response:
    Hi Shansworld and welcome,

    You've found a very supportive community here, one with a lot of understanding.

    I encourage you to start your own discussion with your message so others can more easily find you and respond.

    To do that, hold your mouse cursor over the orange Post Now button on the upper right and choose 'Discussion' from the drop down menu that appears.
    ripcmw replied to Shansworld31's response:
    Hey there! Welcome. There are a lot of people here that would like to help you deal with all your going through. I agree with Caprice, post a discussion and we can make suggestions and offer advice to help.
    One Day At A Time Where There is a Will, There is a Way
    horslover replied to Shansworld31's response:
    Hey, I know just how you feel! Iam in my fifties and I really think that our parents some times want the best for us but I too think that I was and still am so unprepared for the real world that I have let alot of my life pass me by! No marriage, few friends and I think my unhappiness and buried anger have just about destroyed my nursing career ,my financial well being. The boyfriend is not helping, i know that being alone is frightening, but you are only in your thirties, dont wait like I did! Get some help anyway you can!
    shanabanana09 replied to Shansworld31's response:
    Hi Shansworld. I thought I had replied to you already but guess I didn't. Sorry. This sounds like my story. I couldn't have written it better myself. The only difference in your story and mine is that I am married and have a son. Everything else is exactly the same. Even almost your name and mine. I resent being called lazy, and my hubby telling me to snap out of it. If it were that easy, then believe me, I would have been cured a long time ago! Self help is good, but the only thing that I believe will help w/the panic attacks is medication. I have no energy for my hyperactive son, who is like the energizer bunny that keeps going and going. He is very active and I'm quite the opposite. I am lethargic even. I now have epilepsy and I'm afraid to go out in public. I hide in my house, don't answer the door, keep blinds closed, don't answer phone. I really just want to be left alone. The internet and support groups like this one, and prayers to my God are what gets me thru. We have to hang in there for our kids tho. I will say a prayer for u. Good luck, and get well soon if u can!
    oliveronions responded:
    My father recently died. He was in his eighties. I am 52 years old. He and I had a love/hate relationship. I often did not communicate with him because he had a habit of criticizing me & I rarely received good advice from him. However, he often helped me financially when I was going through hard times and was forgiving to me when I made bad decisions. Now I need do make sense of our relationship.
    Also, I have to write a letter -not long, short is ok, some sort of condolence - to his sister - my aunt - about his death. I don't know what to say. I don't want to sound like a complainer. She and I were not that close. I need to say something appropriate. I can't spend my time feeling helpless because I don't know what to say.
    Thanks for your help.
    susiemargaret replied to oliveronions's response:
    hello, all --

    a duplicate of this message is at . you can post a response either here or there, altho there is preferable.

    hello, O --

    i will respond in the other thread in a few minutes. don't worry about posting this twice; it's not a big deal!

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
    susiemargaret replied to oliveronions's response:
    hello, O --

    i've responded to your message at (third post).

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.
    depressed100 responded:
    hi, i think i am depressed. how can you help me? cus i know i need help
    momarmy responded:
    Hi, I have a life change. I have only 1 child a son he is 25 he is married since 10/2012 not long & they haven't had a good relationship my son was to go to the army in Feb. but that didn't happen & they had already moved all their stuff to a storage & in with her parents & she was pregnant & she seem not happy her & my son where fight all the time he was out of work living with the in-laws & he couldn't take it anymore so he came back home to with me for 2 weeks he was going to the Army this & he only had 2 weeks left so he spent them with me. They didn't talk till the last week before he left & she made a 90 degree turn around she knew she wouldn't have to be with him they would be apart for awhile. She wanted to make sure she had insurance & money coming in. She has a 3 year old daughter & I love her just like mine on & so does my son & everybody else in our family. So now she has her on my son insurance & she is trying to get him to adopted her. She had the baby in May 2013 my son wasn't here. This girl lies and manipulate who ever she can. Mainly my son & as a woman I can see it & he isn't here to see it. I don't get to see my only grand baby & now I don't get to see the little girl since my son is not here. It is eaten me up inside
    lonesum replied to Shansworld31's response:
    I can understand when you say you look at your self and can't recognize who you are. You say you have a 9 year old daughter - thats wonderful try to use her as your motivation for going through the days. Try to get out of the rut mode for her and see if that helps.
    An_263381 responded:
    hi i'm 17 years old and currently studying in college.
    when i was little my mother always scolded me over my attitude, small things i did wrong, being naughty, nasty and brat... but not just a simple scold, she would pinch my legs, slap me or pull my hair.. but i guess that just because i'm a kid but things get worse when i'm in highschool i have this thought always "i'm a bad brat person whats wrong of answering back" and a little misunderstanding with my brother leads to punching in the face, strangling my neck, kicking me and other physical attempt.. the worse is even my mom would say that's enough, that's enough to my brother she don't bother to say are you okay with me...but after that commotion lets say a week everything back in normal... i mean its not that worse after that i just think that it's my fault that i deserve those... sometimes there were marks and when my classmates saw them i just tell them i fell or strip or i accidentally scratch my face that's why... you can see small scares in my face even now...i always cry. i always cry thinking why would he my brother would do this to me and my mother also do this to me.. i always cry and i'm tired of crying physically and mentally i pitty myself...after a days my mother would always explain things why i deserve those.. because i answered back and telling me how bad i am and no one deserve me because i am a bad child.. but i am a happy go lucky and easily to forget person and my pride is low thats why i always forget what they did to me.. but still the cycle goes on they hit me physically and emotionally and mentally and what more worse now is that when i cry there are voices insde my head telling me i should kill my self to stop all of this but i cant.. yes my mind tells me to cut my pulse or drink alcohol but i cant.. i cant hit my self goal now is to finish my study and go to a place where no one can reach me where no one can hurt me.. i hate to admit but i hate my life i hate it so much.. sometimes when i'm like this i wrote a diary how worse my life is.. tell me am i suffering f depression?its just me?

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