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    i dont know what to do
    babygurl1130 posted:
    hey ive been livein with depression amonge other problems i have not been medicaded in a lil over a year im scared to talk on the phone to ppl i dont know i just moved about a year ago to a new place and still havent been helped my bf is not helping at all he knows what im going threw and he still ingnores me and the other day i was having a problem i was married for 5 years and he just passed away and i was talking to someone about it and i told my friend that at one point i loved him and my bf said that he wanted to break up cause i said that and he said that our relationship was nothing but a lie and i was hurt i just lost someone i cared about and he always buts him self in to it as oh im not doing something right im stressed out all the time im always hurting and he has not once said sorry nothing i still cry myself to sleep what do i do i know i need my meds again but i am afraid to talk to a doctor and no one will push me to go either my bf wont even try to understand me at all i have no family or friends that understand me either where i am there all back in my home town or state someone please help me if you can thanks
    An_203229 responded:
    I know it really hard but talking to your doctor is a good idea. Depression is really common and doctors have heard it ALL. So please get help and you deserve to live a happy life
    Best hope and wishes:)
    susiemargaret responded:
    hello, BG --

    your boyfriend doesn't sound as if he is giving you very much support in this difficult time for you. losing someone you loved is a sad thing, whether or not you are still with or still love that person, and your sorrow at the loss of your ex-husband is not about your boyfriend, it is about you.

    why are you afraid to talk with a dr? if you secretly want someone to push you to go back to a dr, here we are -- not to be flippant, but we are a full-service operation. you should go back to a dr, BG. you already know this or you wouldn't have brought it up here.

    you say flat-out that you need to go back on your meds, and if nothing else, you will have to see a dr for that. however, my suggestion is that you go to a psychiatrist for a meds evaluation rather than to your family dr, because psychiatrists usually know much more about psych meds than family drs do.

    some sessions with a therapist might help you sort out your feelings about the death of your ex-husband, your anger about your boyfriend's reaction, and your confusion about your day-to-day problems. moving to a new place -- whether a new house or a new city -- involves many adjustments, not just physical ones but emotional ones as well, and, judging from my own personal experience, it takes more than a year to come to terms with some of those adjustments.

    i send you caring thoughts and hope that you can get some rest tonight. please keep us posted on how you are doing.

    -- susie margaret
    kindnesshelps responded:
    Hi babygurl, it sure sounds like you are overwhelmed with so much going on. One thing is really clear and that is please take a deep breath and make an appointment to see a doctor for your depression. It's really important you talk to someone to help you sort out what you can do to get help, and what you can do to help yourself.

    You said you were always hurting and your bf has never said sorry- what do you mean by this?
    babygurl1130 replied to kindnesshelps's response:
    mean that hes hurt me befor and i went back im not sure if im even in love with him i think im just lost and wanting the attention when he does give it most of the time he watches sports and ingnores me a few years ago we had a problem and he choked me and i put him in jail countless times and i still ended up in his arms every time my family wasnt too suportive he was at that time then he had to move so i moved with him i feel a lil better but a whole lot and he still wont prove to me that he wants me i feel used and just wanna cry all the time i dont dare to infront of him though its abusive unless you can say that its emotional but other than that its not very dangerous to me but i feel like he makes fun of me while im sitting right in the room or house when he talks to his dad and that makes me feel like he dont want me also he says he wants to marry me but he hasent even made the attempt to find a ring to propose and im afraid im pushin him too much i feel like i should just leave him and then hell really know what its like to be alone but i dont want to hurt him i know convent he hurt me and i cant hurt him but hey they say two wrongs dont make it right we do have our problems like any couple that are together with mental illnesses we both have something going on with our selfs and its not really fair he wont telll me whats going on with him and i feel like i cant talk to him i have befor told him and he gets pissed and trys to jump off the 8th floor to die thats always his threat to me if i try to tell him how i really feel i will admit i am afraid to be alone but i dont want to deal with this crap any more he came close to hitting me again monday night and i dont want to be afraid to fall in love again and so far i am he has never apoligized for anythign hes done to me and i have more times than not i dont know what to do any more sometimes i feel like drowning and just ending it myself but i have a daughter who dont know me yet and im praying for the day i get to see her again i have alot going on and i have no idea what to do i know i need to call a doctor to get the help still wont change the fact im too scared to pick up the phone hes gotten me so icolated i cant even leave my house without someone comming to take me out or he goes with me well thanks for listing to me have a nice night and hope to hear some more ideas
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to babygurl1130's response:
    I hope you do go see a doctor but also pursue regular therapy. Therapy doesn't change your life situation BUT it can really help you find your own clarity and strength.

    Right now you are so caught up in what he thinks and feels that you can't seem to see beyond that. Considering how he has treated you, please stop waiting around for HIM. Take care of YOU.

    Him isolating you, etc., is all part of the abusive picture. I really encourage you to do some reading on abusive relationships; you will see yourselves in there and realize how he's treating you is not uncommon, nor is how you're reacting. The good news is you can change this.

    FYI, it's likely he won't like you getting help. Why would he? He has exactly what he wants from you and he doesn't want you to become strong and change.

    Please take steps to keep yourself safe as you get help. To that end, I encourage you to contact a domestic abuse hotline or a local women's shelter. That doesn't mean you'll have to go there but they can provide you with information and support so you can move forward safely.
    babygurl1130 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    dont know about that but ok ill do something thanks for the input talk to yall later
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to babygurl1130's response:

    Small steps will get you where you need to be.
    babygurl1130 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    that my problem im way too stuck i dont know how to help myself and refuse to see that this is what it sounds like he wants to get married i just lost my husband right now all i want is for someone to care about me and he acts like he dont he gets what he wants and likes it well if anyone can talk me out of alot of things it would be nice heres my yahoo addy babygirl396g please i really need the help thanks
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to babygurl1130's response:
    Dear one,

    Please take at least one step to help yourself. You don't have to change your life in one fell swoop; just keep taking small steps. (Did you realize you already took one just by coming here?)

    You can really only change yourself, not someone else.
    babygurl1130 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    feel lost alone scared just want to be held like i deserve im still at times acting like a child cause i didnt have a childhood i have no one helping me from day to day help in gidence half the time i forget where i am or i lose time it scares me to think i am losing it and no one around to help me threw it is hard thanks for listening ill let yall go now
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to babygurl1130's response:
    This is why a good therapist may be just what you need. A good therapist will help you, guide you, support you. You do not have to do this alone but it's up to you to reach out for the help you need and deserve. Get the ball rolling and others will run with it.

    I know you're scared, and I know you're alone. But it won't always be this way.
    babygurl1130 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    yeah i know still scared i get hipervenalation when i think about going out side or actually going out side freaks me out i feel alone cause i dont have suport at all right now it sucks i hate it well thanks again

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