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    Just stuff in my head that I wanted to share.
    bornagain216 posted:
    I find depression to be something that never lets go of me. It's like a big storm cloud following me everywhere I go or a wet blanket hanging on my shoulders. My doctor said that I've probably been depressed since my childhood and it turned into Bipolar II disorder. So I'm guessing this is a life long illness to be dealing with which was not part of my plan for my life.
    I hate feeling depressed, but I have a hard time getting my immediate family to understand it..that I can't just put on my big girl panties and think positive thoughts and get over it. My husband gets it thankfully. He's suffered depression since his teens. He is very supportive of me. When the doctor changes meds or increases/decreases med, my family thinks that I should be all better immediately. I can't seem to make the understand that most psych meds take 2-6 weeks to see any improvement. And what sucks, that med might not even work and you have to try something else and WAIT some more! That's where I'm at right now. My meds aren't doing what they're suppose to do, so doc is trying new med.
    I feel like I'm a bummer to my family. I had to do some adjusting to be able to keep me from coming apart completely during Christmas. I planned rest times and had to cut out the middle of the day on Christmas to rest. If I don't, I just can't cope and I end up a basket case. My family (not my husband thought) thinks I should be able to do everything I used to do. I just can't. I feel guilty a little, but not enough to go back on my plan.

    Well, I should quit chatting about this now. If you read this, I appreciate the time you took. I hope you all have had a restful Thanksgiving holiday.

    bornagain 216
    ladys659 responded:
    As I read this and each of the other posts, I see that I am not alone, yet it doesn't make me feel less depressed.

    I am newly married, have a well paying job that I HATE (huge story there), bills which never seem to go away and I don't see any light (my husband is good with money and says he will get everything paid within 3 years or so, yet I don't see it), and I want to cry often. I try not to say anything to my husband because he gets worried and then he doesn't eat and gets stomach pains. I don't talk to anyone else because I don't want people to think I am just a complainer and or whatever other stigma that goes along with being a woman that is depressed.

    I just want to crawl into a ball and never come out--I would but there are people in my life that would be affected (my son, my husband, my family as a whole). If I could be assured that they would be fine would make it easy for me to just seclude myself from life. I take antidepressants, but they just don't seem to work. Sometimes I am fine, but then in a moment I can be the total opposite (sit and just stew over EVERYTHING).

    I hate feeling like this and wish I could make it all go away.
    bornagain216 replied to ladys659's response:
    I get what you're saying; I really do. What I most noticed in your post was that your meds are not working. Do you have a psychiatrist? Maybe it's time for a new/different anti-depressant. There are many and sometimes that makes all the difference if you get the right med. I would suggest you talk with your doc.

    ((((Hugs)))) to you.


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