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    Group for Families and friends of people with depression
    rohvannyn posted:
    Since most of the family support sites are 404, I set one up for friends, family and spouses of people with depression. Actually, everyone is welcome. It's a place to find, and offer, support.
    Was this Helpful?
    2 of 2 found this helpful
    rohvannyn responded:
    (By the way, I know you fine folks already know about it but I wanted to post it as a tip so future users could still find it. Please feel free to ignore if you like.)
    marynj responded:
    First, thanks for setting this up. I have a 22 year-old son who has suffered from depression for years. He's been on antidepressants and sees a therapist weekly and has been doing well. What causes him to slip back into depression is transition, and in the upcoming year, his life will definitely be changing. he will be graduating from college and has to make some big decisions. We (his parents) are fully supportive and he knows it. But I think he's stressing out and starting to slip. The reason I know that is because I snooped (yes, I admit it) on his computer and saw that he has started to neglect his schoolwork in at least one class (a class required for graduation). He made excuses (lies) to the professor. At this early point in the semester, it's redeemable. But how do I approach this? I don't want to tell him I've snooped because I would like to maintain the ability to check in periodically on his academic status. Honestly, in the past, my ability to check his academic emails is exactly how we discovered that he had problems and how they were headed off before they turned into full-blown depressive episodes. If I tell his doctor/therapist that I've been snooping, they have to go straight to him and tell him, due to the privacy laws. But I'm afraid that if I am cut off from my ability to see what's going on in his academic life, his problem will fester and he will very likely end up depressed and dropping out (again) for a medical leave of absence. (We've been down that road before.) I know he's not fine. But he can be if the problem is addressed now and doesn't have time to get out of control. By the way, I only look at his academic email account. I have no interest in checking his personal emails. Any advice?
    rohvannyn replied to marynj's response:
    That really is a tough situation. Especially if he's technically an adult but is having a lot of trouble keeping track of things. Maybe just tell his doctor/therapist that it's "come to your attention" that he's having a lot of problems academically but it's early enough to catch, and letting them handle it? Or initiate a conversation with him and just ask if he's having trouble and if there is any way to support him better so he can be successful? Impress on him how important it is, that this is a chance he will lose out on if he doesn't straighten up. If he asks you could say he seems stressed. If he calls you out on snooping, let him know you only look at his academic stuff and you don't want to see him throw his life away.

    Good luck to you both.
    susiemargaret replied to marynj's response:
    hello, M --

    keep in mind that if your son suspects or finds out that you are looking at things on his computer, he is likely to change his password, start storing things under misleading titles, and/or cut himself off from you. this is a big risk you're taking in terms of maintaining trust between you and your son, and i have to say that i don't think the fact that you're "only" looking at his academic stuff will help you out much if he calls you on it.

    i agree with R that the best way might be either to contact his dr/therapist and say you've noticed that your son seems to be more stressed lately or to tell your son directly that you think he seems to be more stressed lately. you can cite absent-mindedness, inability to focus, how easily he gets distracted, etc.

    i hope you and your son can talk about how he is doing and that he will able to work with his therapist on feeling better soon.

    i send caring thoughts to both of you.

    -- susie margaret
    what good is gold, or silver too, if your heart's not good and true -- hank williams, sr.

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