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    But, Food Is My BFF!
    Andie_WebMD_Staff posted:
    Our interaction with food is a very important relationship. Just how important? Is food like a great friend that's always there? Is your diet like a great boyfriend you cheat on with food?

    Your relationship with your best friend or boyfriend can become your world. They make you feel good about yourself. They help you through tough times, they're there when you're celebrating a big event, and they share in your happiness, sadness, or anger.

    When you cheat on your diet, you think, "No one will know but me." However, 10 minutes later you want to cry because you let down your BFF or cheated on your boyfriend.

    A best friend can be like a drug addiction that you just HAVE to have in your life or you feel lost... Sugar, chocolate, potato chips, pasta...we love them and we hate them. The difference between a food addiction and a drug addiction is that we REQUIRE food to survive. You want to start over with your diet , but the bond with food has become so strong. So, how do you kick a habit that you depend on to live?

    What does food represent to you? How healthy is your relationship to food? Do you eat because you love food, or do you eat to fuel your body alone?

    Share your thoughts, your concerns and any questions you have as we continue our 4 week series on the challenges of losing 50-100 lbs, how it differs from other weight loss goals, and how your weight influences how people see you and how you see yourself.
    Tomato05 responded:
    Yes, relationship with food is a complex issue.

    Some foods are my best friends - I love them and they're good for me, and pose no weight threat: salads, vegetables, fruit in moderation, skim yogurt, tea, fish, prawns, eggs.

    However, some other foods are my "enemies" - even though I love them, they are treacherous, not nutritious and cause me weight gain, especially because they taste so nice and I therefore overindulge: sweets, cookies, custard, pancakes.

    Then there is a third category - foods that potentially are my friends, as they are nutritious, but they are not particularly low in calories, so I have to be very careful to eat them only in moderation: meat, nuts, milk, cheese, bread, rice, potatoes, corn, red kidney beans (or other beans), cereal, bananas, dried fruit, etc.

    Of course I therefore feel more wary about foods in category 2 and 3 mentioned above. They require more vigilance.

    I think I have a mixed approach: I eat certain foods because I love them, and others because I know they provide good fuel. It's the "in-between" grey area that causes the problems: the ones I love and which don't provide good fuel. I think breaking the bond requires being very strict - only solution for me.
    jis4judy replied to Tomato05's response:
    this is interesting to me because I know that we have certain relationships with certain foods and some of my favorites had to be put into new categories , they went from daily consuption to only on special occasions in limited amounts
    Like tomato said the grey area foods sort of good fuel but higher in caloriies have to be monitored closely too ..
    this is a very complex issue ..
    I do have knew BFF s berries and lots of different vegies
    Hugs Judy:)
    PS andie my Patriots lost so I am rooting for your Bears from this point in the season never even thought this was gonna be possable ...
    SW 247 CW 153ish maintaining Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    jean4u replied to jis4judy's response:
    Good thread.

    I think the only way is to make "new" friends. The "old" ones. (i.e. foods were bad influences).

    Just like the drug addict that gets clean and goes back to hang out with their addict's just a matter of time before they go back to using.

    I think this is on topic. I went to lunch yesterday where I had been before. They have this bread that is hot and crunchy and non-stop. Well, I got "programmed" before I got to the restaurant. Ordered Icfe water with lemon, hot green tea with lemon. A spring mix salad with salmon. It was delicious.

    The lady-friend next to was non-stop eating the bread. I knew that would be me if I had a taste. The best choice for me was not to even taste it. It looked kind of greasy anyway!

    I think it is realy important to review your relationship with food and take control.

    Andie_WebMD_Staff replied to Tomato05's response:
    Good word choice, Tomato..."treacherous". That relationship with those foods we tend to overindulge in, IS treacherous.

    I wish we could say that it's a relationship we can easily manipulate and repair, but alas for you and I (and many others), it seems we will always need to restrict how often we expose ourselves to those temptations.

    For me, no matter what food it is when I get in that "gotta eat something now" mode, I can overindulge in just about anything. I believe mending my relationship to any and all food is where the root of my yo-yo weight gains will be found and finally repaired.

    Great analogy, as usual, Tomato!
    Andie_WebMD_Staff replied to jis4judy's response:
    Hi Judy,

    I am always impressed with how you've taken note of all your foods and use them as a daily budget system.

    So, are you saying that you have different relationships with different foods? That is interesting how we do that, but you're right. Sometimes we get on those kicks where we just love a food (like your berries) and sort of forget about others for a while.

    It reminds me of my kids and their school friend relationships. How finicky they are with who their BFF is from one day to the next! One friend hangs out with someone they don't like, so they find a new friend to hang out with.

    We see foods like lasagna, which can be high in fat and calories, and we think, THAT is no friend of mine because "who" the ingredients are hanging out with. Bad relationship.

    But, we can take one ingredient from that lasagna and find that it's healthy on it's own or prepared with a different class of "friends". Like, a slice of mozzarella with sundried tomato on a whole wheat cracker. Good relationship.

    Very complex, indeed.



    PS--> Sorry about the Pats losing. What an upset!! Couldn't believe my eyes! I really expected the Super Bowl to have the Pats in it this year. But, I have to admit...I'd rather see my Bears play the Jets than your Pats!! Call me chicken or call me smart! Glad we're on the same team now! Hope the Bears crush the Packers this weekend!! (ok, sorry for stealing this thread for a second, but I just had to)
    Andie_WebMD_Staff replied to jean4u's response:
    Thanks for your always insightful input, Barb!

    I'm with you on the bread basket. Lordy, how I love love love the restaurant rolls and breads! My daughter picked up the same fondness and is even worse. If I let her, I'm sure she would make bread alone 99% of her diet.

    So, I wonder if these relationships with certain foods are something we pass on down to our kids or if it is learned behavior.

    Like you, the only way I've found to control the relationship with unhealthy foods is to eliminate them and create new relationships.

    We can have different relationships with different foods much like we do with certain people in our lives, I suppose. I have a nephew that I love to death, but he has issues with anger and resentment that he won't let go of and therefore, I have to limit how often I see him to avoid being mistreated. I can't control his behavior in the relationship, but I can control mine.

    Does that make sense?
    jis4judy replied to Andie_WebMD_Staff's response:
    hI Andie yes my Pats just about broke my heart on Sunday
    I kept believeing they would win right up to the last second
    I hope the Bears crush green bay too
    Hugs Judy:)
    SW 247 CW 153ish maintaining Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    jean4u replied to Andie_WebMD_Staff's response:

    The nephew you mention that is difficult to be around, you aren't going to change him but you can control the time spent around him. It's just to hard to be around people like him.

    NOW, let me share a "slip" moment. I shared a success moment on Tues.. Yesterday, Weds., I went to a dance and they had pizza for a snack. It was soooo good I had 3 pieces! This was after dinner.

    Next week is another dance and this "old friend" (Mr. pizza) will be there. I was going to have 1 piece.....but it tasted soooo good. I think I will go to the restroom next week when it is being served.

    They have cake next week but I can say "no" to that real easy.

    Andie, I look at my slip as a "flat tire", just fix it and don't poke holes in the other tires.

    Back to the pizza thing, though, I can't go out with Mr. Pizza anymore! LOL "We" just can't be trusted together!

    Andie_WebMD_Staff replied to jean4u's response:
    LOL! It sounds like a very tempestuous affair you have going with Mr Pizza!

    Mr Pizza gets around, because I am also unable to be in the same room with him. Mr Lay's is also a bad influence in my life. These relationships are not healthy for me, so (just like my nephew), I limit my time with them.

    Great analogy with the flat tire, too! Love it!
    jean4u replied to Andie_WebMD_Staff's response:
    I think the more that we think and talk about our relationships with foods that it really does help us to get powerful in dealing with them.

    Even Superman had his kryptonite! LOL

    krosseli responded:
    Hello Everyone,

    I have a love/hate relationship with sweets. I went on a Turtle (chocolate/pecan/carmel candy) eating spree. For about three weeks, I purchased and eat every Turtle in the house and when I ran out, I would go to the nearest store and buy more. Sam did everything he could to make me feel guilty and it only made me eat more.

    For about a week, I have not eaten any Turtle; however, I have purchase and eaten two slices lemon pie. I'm reasonably active; however, the weather has prevented me from taking my long walks. I need to lose at least 50 pounds.

    How do I break my addiction to sweets?

    nursingbug replied to krosseli's response:
    You sound a lot like me. I can't keep sweets in the house because I will eat them, but if I don't have anything, I need to go get something, even if it is one snack sized candy.
    I bought a bag of chocolate chips to make some of those vitatops for my 'healthy' sweet treat for the week. you only need 1/4 cup of the chips for the recipe. I made them yesterday, froze them, then proceeded to eat half of the bag of chocolate chips over the course of the day. yikes. I am never buying those things again. I am like an alcoholic, and i mean no disrespect to those who have struggled through that. It is just that bad. I am going to throw out that bag of chocolate when I get home from work. that is the only way I know how to deal, is just get the taste out of my mouth and get out of the habit.
    nursingbug replied to krosseli's response:
    another thing is that the artificial sweetened things don't cut it for me, I can't be happy with a no calorie fudge pop or something like that, I am craving the flavor and the texture of the real thing. I am trying to eat more fruit, but even when I am full on that, I want to eat some sweets anyway.
    An_201698 responded:
    I do this all the time! I start doing really good with my eating and then I slip up. But, when I slip up, I really do it good! I catch myself thinking that I already messed up today, so might as well go ahead and eat whatever I want today and then I can go back on my diet 110% tomorrow.

    So, I go from feeling good about my diet and being proud of myself, to feeling guilty about my sneak eating and wanting to cry for screwing up! And really, who am I fooling about sneaking food? I'm only hurting myself, but I just can't seem to stop.

    How do I get to the point that food is not something I want to satisfy a craving, but something I use to nourish my body with the added perk of it tasting good? Does it ever happen?

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