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    Little update
    tnmist posted:
    I have lots of replies to respond to and hope to catch up a little tomorrow perhaps...Just wiped out. Terrible week but a therapy session helped greatly today, and earlier this week he had returned a call from me after a meltdown, and I appreciated that very much.

    Down 5 lbs from my highest weight, but I've been gaining and losing the same 10 lbs for a few months, which was why I haven't said anything. I'm hoping that writing it down and announcing it will help me blow past that 10-lb issue, ha. (Telling myself that "celebrating" by eating something unhealthy is NOT the path I want to repeat...Duh.)

    I really want to work on my yards more this year. After I do some basic flower planting, maybe I will start planting a flower for every pound I lose...Hmmm. That thought just ocurred to me while writing this note. I'l have to give it more thought. Like daisies or something, not sure.

    More later. Only slept 3 hours last night. Have to take a little nap. (Also discovered today WHY I don't want to sleep. It's a long story, but now that I understand what I'm doing, I can help myself to change.)

    Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
    blondie454u responded:
    Glad your posting. Also glad that you find out your sleeping problem. Maybe once you get your sleep under control, you can work on other things. Good Luck!
    Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
    tnmist replied to blondie454u's response:
    Thank you, Amber. I realized today that the reasons I wasn't sleeping were not accurate. I have PTSD, and it finally dawned on me that I don't WANT to go to sleep because, of course, I have to give up being aware of my surroundings when I sleep. My T called it hypervigilence. I startle easily and that sort of thing, but I didn't realize that's why I fight sleeping, too. Talk about a lightbulb moment. I mean, we've hashed over the sleeping issue a few times, but it could be so many things due to my health issues, etc., and he has given me "grounding" techniques to help remember this is 2013, I'm in another state, own my own home, etc., It just didn't sink in before. And for years I've had sleep issues due to depression - sleeping all the time, not sleeping at all - all of that at one time or another, that I really just thought it was more of the same.

    Now that I'm consciously aware of why, I can remind myself that I have a dog who will let me know if anyone is around that shouldn't be, and I think that will help. I have a good friend who went through a horrible, horrible childhood, and the only thing that helped her with that was getting an alarm system on her house. I'm hoping my dog will be enough, though, LOL.

    Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
    jean4u replied to tnmist's response:
    Hi Misty, Nice that you can put a "label" on your not sleeping as needed. When my kids were born I would not be able to get to sleep. I think I had a form of hypervigilence, too. I would make lists of bad things that COULD happen to them or me and I would not live to see them grown up. It continued after they were adults. I would stress about their jobs and relationships. Now, I know and ACCEPT that I am not responsible for their happiness and they must make the choices that come with being adults. Also, they have to deal with the consequences of those choices. I guess you can say I took motherhood very seriously. LOL

    I'm glad that you have a good therapist who is helping you deal with your anxiety. We all deserve to feel safe in our homes our haven.

    Good work on this discovery.

    jis4judy replied to tnmist's response:
    Hi Misty I used to have trouble sleeping My Hubby worked the over night hours for over 25 years and I was fine when the kids were here but when I was all alone in the house I had a lot of trouble sleeping , I took some steps to make me feel safer I had all my doors locks changed to dead bolts and steel doors
    that made me feel better I figured if anyone broke in they would have to make a big noise and that would wake me up ..
    I sleep a lot better now .. I also had problems with asthma that woke me in the night not breathing but since I have been on my journey about 7 years ago is when I last bought meds for the asthma it went away ...
    Hugs Judy:)
    SW 247 CW 150ish maintaining

    Remember the Gold is not in the prize it's in the Journey
    life may not be the Party we expected but while we are here we may as well dance

    j9celeste replied to tnmist's response:

    I made my previous post about therapy and PTSD before I read this one...sorry! I understand the hyper-vigilence and the only time I used to be able to sleep was when it was light outside. I'm slowly working on that. I'm so glad that you have a wonderful dog to help you out!! Thank you SO much for sharing.

    The most exciting, challenging, significant relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone who loves the you that YOU love, that's fabulous SW 286 CW 259 GW 165
    totallywiggedout responded:
    Misty, I was just checking back on some of these posts. Im sorry you have trouble feeling safe enough to sleep. That must be awful. I'm glad that your dog helps with this though.
    No matter what size a dog is, even if it can't tackle a person, there's nothing like an ankle biter, lol. Sometimes those little dogs are meaner than big ones and no matter what, they will always let you know if something is amiss. You will get fully attuned to your dog and will be able to tell even when the weather is about to change just by your dogs actions.
    I really love your idea of a new flowering plant for your yard for every lb lost. These little weight loss "gifts" to yourself can make all the difference when you feel down on yourself or your journey.
    Your idea is so good , because if you hit a plateau and get down about it, all you'll have to do is look out your window and you will SEE the progress you've made with how colorful your yard looks.
    Kim SW 252 CW 180.3 GW 135

    If hunger is not the problem, then eating is not the solution.---author anonymous

    If you are going through Hell,keep going.-- Winston Churchill

    tnmist replied to totallywiggedout's response:
    Perhaps...My "ankle biter" prefers to hide behind mommy's legs and let mommy do the protecting, but he does alert me to, uh, EVERYthing.

    As for flowers, happened to think afterwards that planting is one thing, but keeping them alive is another...Do want to have a visual for lbs lost though, but I'm still mulling it all over. I tend to have more of a brown thumb...Sigh. But there are endless things we can put on walls or plant or post or whatever..just have to decide what will work for me. I may just buy a large vase and begin adding silk flowers and end up with a bouquet (eventually multiple bouquets). Prefer something that won't die, ha.

    Trying to catch up with things on this board but not able to right now...But to everyone who has replied to my posts recently, I GREATLY appreciate the encouragement and advice...Rock on!! (Do people still say that? *giggle*)
    Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
    jean4u replied to tnmist's response:
    Misty, You just "Rock on", hey we can say that!

    About the visual "support"....I have seen people put colored marbles in mason jars to show the lbs. shed. It makes a pretty display on a window or where light can show through it. I like the use of a visualization board, too. I did one of these about ten yrs. ago. I had 3 major goals at the time that seemed overwhelming. I did not accomplish any of them overnight, but it did remind me of them and to seek out the things and people to get me there. Anything I found that would support these goals I would tack onto the board.....motivation pictures, quotes, prayers, pictures that inspired. The outcome of this is eventually I started to move toward these goals, slowly, slowly and after 3 years I looked at that board and had accomplished all 3 goals. I could not believe it because when I made that board I was static.

    rachael2011 responded:
    Misty, I love your idea of the silk flowers, and Barb's idea of the marbles in a jar. The marbles I could do per pound but with the flowers I would have to get like 185 of them when its all said and done. That's a lot of flower bunches, and you know I couldn't throw them out bc they would mean something to me! When you said "rock on" I kind of laughed, bc I still do the "thumb's up" and my kids just smile and shake their heads. Lol.
    Rachael...under construction.

    SW 325 CW 309.2 Short term goal-299 Goal weight- 140
    tnmist replied to rachael2011's response:
    I liked the marble idea, too!! Less dusting when all is said and done, LOL. Yes, I would have to have a LOT of flowers - multiple vases. I have enough dust collectors around. So far I'm favoring the marble idea. Oh, and the marble idea resonates with my child within.

    We don't do "thumbs up" anymore?? Who knew? Well, I still do thumbs up!!! It's universal. Sigh. I had a teenager inform me a year or so ago that "LOL" is sooo overdone now. (My eyes just rolled, and I shook my head.) I have refrained from using the term "groovy" a couple of times, LOL!
    Insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. - Albert Einstein
    blondie454u replied to tnmist's response:
    I love these ideas! Great job guys!
    Amber CW 135 maintaining, SW 250. Stress is nothing more than a socially acceptable form of a mental illness.
    j9celeste replied to tnmist's response:
    I absolutely LOVE the marble idea. I really like the thought of a daily visual reminder.

    Taking it a step further, I'm going to start a dollar jar also. I'm going to put in a dollar for every pound I lose. It won't totally break me since I can use change and don't lose 10 pounds a week. But at the end, when I have $120 or so, I can really buy myself a nice outfit!!!

    My surgeon decided that the best plan of action for my knee right now is cortisone shots and physical therapy. Not so excited about the shots, but the therapy will be great for my knee and for my all over fitness. I start Wednesday.

    Happy Monday everybody!

    The most exciting, challenging, significant relationship you have is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone who loves the you that YOU love, that's fabulous SW 286 CW 258 GW 165
    rohvannyn replied to j9celeste's response:
    How about the marble jar, with one bunch of silk flowers? You could start with some black round marbles/plain colored flat glass decorater marbles, so that the floweres stand up, then gradually add more and more colorful marbles and remove more of the plain colored ones. Set it in the window and let the light shine through your accomplishment...

    I say "rock on" occasionally. And "groovy," and "cool," and "shiny," and "coovy," and "sweet," as well as "twenty-three skiddoo," "the bees knees," "the cat's pajamas," etc... but very rarely "rad" or "b*tchin.'"

    'Your focus determines your reality.' -QGJ

    'Try not. Only do.' --Y
    kalimiller replied to rohvannyn's response:
    What about combining the two ideas - using marbles for individual pounds and then silk flowers for every 10th pound (or 5th or 25th, whatever) that way you could see bigger losses really easily...

    Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right.
    -Henry Ford

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