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    new & looking for a safe place
    Jules3696 posted:
    I'm not eating enough, altho I don't know that I'm truly anorexic. I still have a "healthy" BMI but for the first time I didn't have a period (no, I'm not pregnant). I am able to hide my eating very little/not eating and family & friends who have noticed the weight loss believe it's due to healthy eating and exercise - it's not - I'm starving myself. I am so exhausted some days that it's difficult to make it thru the work day - I rely on caffeine way too much. I hope that this site is a safe place to share, be encouraged and encourage others.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Hi Jules and welcome here.

    This is a safe place but it can be quiet so please be patient for others to respond. They will, once they have a chance to look in here.

    Have you considered talking with someone about this, a professional? It sounds like you already realize this isn't healthy for you (whatever your BMI), considering the lack of energy and feeling so starved.

    I'm glad you found us and hope you'll keep talking here. And hope it's only the first step to getting the help and support you need.
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
    Jules3696 replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
    Thanks for your quick reply. No, I'm not ready for a professional, altho rationally I can understand the need for one. It's a big step for me to even post on this site.
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to Jules3696's response:
    I understand, Jules. (((hugs)))
    You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
    ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
    lostkate responded:
    Welcome, it is slow here lately but Im glad you posted. This site is very safe place and encouraging, thats why I stick around. The people here have helped me through some tough times and still does.

    I have hidden my eating disorder from my family, telling them I eating right and exercising but without telling them that Im not eating also. The not having your period makes me concerned. Have you checked with your doctor? It may not have anything to do with not eating. How old are u? Im at the age where my period is going a little haywire, not sure if Im getting it or when.

    Jules3696 replied to lostkate's response:
    Hi Kate,
    Thanks for responding. I'm glad to hear that this is a safe place - that's exactly what I really need. Can I ask how you hide not eating when your family is around? When I feel that I have to eat I just don't eat anything else the rest of the day and if possible, the next day. I have not checked with my Dr about the period thing - insurance is an issue right now - I need to wait til the new year for any Dr visits. I am in my early 40s so it seems a little young for the early menopause but who knows? Are you pretty much always cold? I can't get my feet to get warm. Sorry, enough about me already! What's the issue with your periods - do you know? Has you week started off ok?
    lostkate replied to Jules3696's response:
    I pretty much do the same you do when around family or know I will be eating with others. Im in my late 40's, my period has been giving problems for the past two years, my doctor has no idea but says it premenopause, which means they have no idea. I sometimes get it, regularly or for the whole month instead of 5-7 days or its really really late. I never know what to expect. Sometimes it feels like its sucking the life out of me. Yes I do feel cold a lot but lately that has changed because I have gain weight back on. Thats been driving me crazy, I worked so hard to take it off and keep it off, then all of sudden it all came back. I hate myself for doing it. Now my clothes are really tight, I refuse to buy new ones or go get old clothes out. Once I start wearing a higher size I know I will only get bigger, I cant allow that.
    Jules3696 replied to lostkate's response:
    Wow - 2 years is a long time, Kate. Sometimes it just sucks being female, doesn't it???? Sorry about the weight gain - tight clothes are the worst - so frustrating! I hear you about not getting new clothes/pulling out the old ones - I know that wearing the tight ones can sometimes motivate me eat even less...How was your Thanksgiving?
    lostkate replied to Jules3696's response:
    Yes, being female sucks and as you get older I feeling it get worse.

    I havent been feeling well, Ive had this cold for about two weeks now, I cant get rid of it. Ive been so tired, my kids were with their Dad and I was going to my sisters, I didnt feel up to going but I pushed myself to go. I snacked a lot so I ate light for dinner, it was noticed. It was very stressful, it was just four of us there, my aunt, sister and her husband. We talked about what going on in the family, which was centered around me and another sister. Its a long story, something Im having a hard time dealing with.

    How was your Thanksgiving?
    Jules3696 replied to lostkate's response:
    Sorry you've been sick - that cold is really hanging on! Have you been able to rest? Ugh - your family is obviously really watching you about eating. Sorry things weren't so good on Thanksgiving. Family stuff can be so stressful.I know there are some family members that bring out the worst in me! My Thanksgiving was ok - no big drama or anything, which is something to be thankful for. You take care!

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