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    Anyone Else ANGRY? :/
    Yayabay06 posted:
    Please note: This discussion is over 3 years old now. If you wish to share your thoughts, seek support and talk with others on this community, please hold your cursor over the orange Post Now button on the upper right and choose 'Discussion' from the menu which comes up. This will allow you to start a new discussion to introduce yourself.

    Hello FMily~~~

    Well, I guess I have come to a conclusion. I am very angry that my health has come to this. I am angry that I am unable to keep up with daily activities that are nothing for others to do.

    It is not that I am lazy or bored with it. It is because everything I do is painful. I have tried to do what I am supposed to do as far as meds. It seems like I am worse now than I was 3 years ago.

    I do not know how to get the point acrosss to friends and family. Doug is angry at me it seems. I hear him say stuff like "how do you think I feel?" I do not care. If he wa shelping me then I would but it seems like he is going in the opposite direction.

    My mother does not know what to do. She is 85 and I cannot expect too much out of her.

    I feel like I am spinning out of control. I cannot keep up with the environment I am in and I should probably get out. I am trying to think clearly and that is nearly impossible!!! So, I am trying to get Doug to get ME some help around the house. And with Alex.

    As awoman, I am trying to explain to him that I feel like a failure as a wife, mother, woman etc. How would he feel if 95% of his normal activities were turned painful and the fatigue overwhelming????

    So, I am angry, very angry that I feel so helpless and crazy!!! I did tell my dr that the Savella made me yell and swear more than ever. I have not been like this since Alex was born. I do not like it. I dop not want to YELL. I am just so

    Is anyone else like this?????

    brookiecookie11 responded:
    I can understand anger... Thats where I am at. I feel angry at everyone including myself. I feel like I can't tell people the truth about how I feel. They ask and its the same answer. I hurt. I'm exhausted. I'm in so much pain my hair hurts! Yup I know anger. This is the stage of the game where I am stuck. I never asked to play this game and I don't understand the rules and no one else seems to either.
    wolffin responded:
    I am angry to I am angry that I can't do things I used to do, I am angry my mind gos to crap and i feel like an idiot cant remember things can't focus and feel embarassed. I am angry that my hands dont function like they should that I can barely pick up something small if try hold a pencil my had gos dead or hurts if i am lucky enough to hold on it to for any ammount of time. just to name a few things

    I am angry that 90% of pages about FMS starts out with how primarily affects Women (no offence intended) and if at all say how it affects men. Men suffer this to and wording means a lot. Should say something like Affecting Women and Men then go on to say it affects women a larger number of women then men. We feel ashamed and undesirable enough as it is. Maybe more men would come forward..................................
    fibroinsd responded:
    Wish I could do more than offer you hugs !!!! But I do send you hugs..

    MrsB_2156 responded:
    I get angry too. I can't understand why my body won't behave like a normal body is supposed to. I'm angry that at my midlife, the predominant memory for me is pain and how I'm different from normal people.

    I'm angry that there are still doctors out there still ignorant enough to say this dragon is "all in our head"! How dare they!!! If they had to walk a week in our shoes and experience our daily lives, they'd change their tune in a heartbeat.

    I'm angry that whenever someone gets famous and says they have this disease or that, the media jumps all over it, and suddenly there's an awareness that needs to be addressed. But not so for FMily. It's as though we're all pariahs.
    lb707 responded:
    I am hoping this does not offend anyone with this next comment.... I have lived with this for years. Anger has not helped me at all..... but it is part of the grieving process. You have lost part of your life to this illness so you need to grieve.

    We do not have the energy we use to.... so I try not to waste what I have on prolonged anger.

    I am not big into meds because some of the side effects cause irritability and anger. I have found the few that help.... but they are only part of my tool box.

    So get mad cry but don't get stuck there. Our checkbooks of energy do not have much of a balance... don't over draw... there is no way to pay in back.

    TJAlex responded:
    Yes I am angry too. I am mad at my body for holding me back. I am angry that the job I loved has been taken away from me. I am angry I can't do the things with my kids I use to. I am mad at FM for taking my life away. If I could I'd kick the s**t out of it.
    inpainjenn responded:
    Oh YaYa,

    I am so sorry that you are having a bad time and that Doug keeps adding to your pile.

    Heck yeah, I'm angry. No one understands what it is like for us except those of us in the fmily (and I agree info on fibro shouldn't dismiss men who can also have it). If any of the people in my life who brush off my situation had to live one hour in my body during an average day (let alone a bad one!) they would scream for mercy.....let alone live like this every day, week after week, year after year, with no end in sight.

    I'm mad that everyone gets tired of "it always being something" with me. They're tired??? Again, try our lives. Besides, I don't even tell people how I'm really doing most of the time anymore anyway. No one wants the truth and sometimes I'm too sick or tired to bother with a lie.

    Also, I'm really angry that this condition makes every other aspect of our health and lives 10x more complicated and difficult.

    Your not alone YaYa...........I hope things get better for you............glad you are able to vent here

    Understanding Hugs,

    JeJe (Jenn, I think cece suggested this for my Fmily nickname)
    Nesarian responded:
    Hi Yaya,

    Anger is a phase you can grow through or get stuck in. It is your choice. You are the only one that has control over what you choose to do, think, feel, etc. Sounds like Doug has his anger also. Great! Now, you both can work on it together and grow through it! This is very common with couples so it does not mean you are less or Doug is less. It means you each have anger now and need to learn to constructively deal with it. Yelling is not constructive and you have a young child you may be scaring. Are you still seeing that therapist? This is perfect to bring up in session and work on together. There are plenty of couples exercises to help you both grow through this phase. Then, you can teach Alex how to manage her anger appropriately. It's a win-win!

    MahiFish responded:

    My name is Scott. I'm brand new to these boards, but I've posted to a thread to hopefully talk about some of the exact things you are feeling. Please see the thread titled "Terry/Guys" or something like that. Hope to hear from you soon.
    Socialwrkr responded:
    I'm with Laura and Nene, of course you have a right to be angry, everyone does. To me, it's all about the 5 stages of grief, which of course, I can't remember the exact order of!!

    But, denial, anger, bargaining, depression and then finally acceptance. And the reality is, with a life long diagnosis like this, we sometimes fall back into the stages. The healthiest place to be for us though is in acceptance. If we get stuck in one of the other phases, we just spend our limited energy on something that isn't going to give us answers.

    Honestly, if it hadn't been for a great therapist, I don't know where I would be. And I highly recommend it to everyone, alone and with SO's. Because, the SO's are also having to work through those stages of grief, they have lost the person you once were as well.

    Take care

    wisebeyond responded:

    I am in the same place... But not anger anymore... I am just so sad... I got sent home from work really early on Sunday... And I cried my eyes out. The thought that I can't handle work, and what happens when I have kids can I keep up?

    Tyler and I are on a break... I just feel like I'm not a capable partner anymore... And he disrespects me and takes me for granted.

    I am so tired of not feeling worthy of anyone... I know working full time may be hard for me and school. It scares me. I'm at the point where I need to evaluate again what I will go to school for, and what my body can handle....

    I do feel like my life is spinning out of control again... My limitations seem to keep increasing with time....

    HUGS dear Yaya... I understand.
    SherylAnne1955 responded:

    Heck yeah....I get angry all the time especially when I tell someone I'm not feeling well and I'm sick and It feels like I'm in a competition with them because they have to tell me how bad they are feeling and won't listen to me or don't give a HOOT!! It's like they hurt worse than I do....

    I brain is already gone and I can't concentrate and remember things and that makes it even worse for me......I'm so tired of having to explain myself to people who really don't care anyway it seems and then they want to know why I seem mad or angry all the time....

    We have to carry on with our daily activities no matter what because if we don't do them who will?? They certainly will not get done by themselves....If it doesn't get done.....Oh will be there tomorrow waiting on me when or maybe when I feel like it....

    If I feel like cooking....I cook...if I don't...we eat a sandwich and my DH doesn't say anything because he always says whatever I feel like doing....

    Getting angry doesn't solve anything tho.... we have to do it we might as well let it all out!!!!!!!!!!
    58jane responded:
    :angry:YES I am and fed up s well. People do not have a clue,this is a pain that nothing touches completely.You feel like crap and you are angry as Hell and just want loved ones to get it!! Please!!I once kept an immaculate house and now....Well! I am told I am lazy around here. Right on,Dude. You have Avinza to take your pain AWAY. Mine is here like a runny nose.Always needing wiped!! Now that was funny>CanI get a laugh out ther from anyone!!??

    Hang in there
    angelldakota responded:
    angry... depressed... yeh been there still do that... but now i try to give myself permission to do it for an hour or two and then go on with life... mmm... well sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt... lol... a dear councelor of my past made me daily let myself have an hour of self pity too... and i cried my heart out...

    it is normal to morn... we have lost a dear part of ourselves... but even dearer parts of ourselves will live on... like the ability to reach out andhelp someone... if we didnt have fibro we wouldnt be here and we wouldnt be family... mmm... i ussually post "I" maybe i feel like part o f a family now... and it feels good... so give yourself some time... and keep in mind what good you are doing here... your pain keeps me strong...

    bless you...

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