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    I'm suffering
    cathrynme posted:
    im so lost and im giving up and i dont want to please someone help me stay strong i am in such a flair right now im in so much pain i came here cause i know you will all understand i dont work i paste back and forth im on pain pills 9 years now im not having any good days anymore i cry everyday for the last 4 months my family is at a lost i stop my cymblta cause it was not helping anymore 9 years of that im on viibryd now it help me go off the cymblta but im a mess still today i didnt want to get out of bed im giving up my sides hurt so bad cause i was coughing yesterday and now im paying for it i cant even talk without the pain being so bad i have to wear a brace around my body to get some kind of relief my toes are numb and my right leg numb and my ankles swell now its just getting worst i am losing hope and my will to fight this horrible monster inside me its been 27 years but its getting worst now that im older im 5o now going threw menopause too i think i still have to wait a year until no period but its been 6 months and the weather too when it fall i go threw hell with this its really bad i have a beautiful daughter i love her she is why i fight everyday but i cant hind the pain any more i cant give up i cant i feel so desperate right now i want to go away for help has anyone ever gone away for this and get better im scared of how i feel i am scared i will give up on myself and hurt myself cause living in pain like this is just not and option i need help so badly i wish a good day would come so i can feel hope again thank you for letting me vent to you i want to say i know how much your all suffering and i wish i could help you all that is all i would ever want is to help someone like me suffering too please all of you suffering i love you and i know your pain is real what can i do to get better help me please
    katmandulou responded:
    cathrynme, I'm glad you found us! First, sit down and inhale and exhale. I know you're in pain from your words.

    First, YOU NEED TO CALL YOUR DOCTOR NOW!!!! He/She will be the best person to speak with. Perhaps you can call and talk to a nurse immediately. Tell the receptionist you need an appointment NOW, not next week, or next month. Tell him/her what you have written, you'll get in!

    I wonder if you've tried the resources in the right column; many people find them helpful. You might not get that kind of help now, but check them out when you're feeling better.

    As for menopause, I'm just about there too, hot flashes are awful aren't they?

    cathrynme, I hope you get the replies you need. Get to the phone, make the call, and let us know what happens. I wish you the best day you can possibly have,
    Anon_408 responded:
    Soft hugs to you first of all. Secondly, yes, do get in to a dr. and if that isn't possible, can you go to an urgent care or emergency room at the hospital?

    I feel your pain through your words, and I know how hard this is for you. Most important of all also, you should consider calling a CRISIS HOTLINE. Caprice posts a link at times. You can call your hospital and ask for a hotline number also.

    Sending hugs and healing thoughts and prayers to you.
    Anon_408 responded:
    Hi again cathrynme, To the left of the discussions is a list of webMD links, and at the bottom is Crisis Assistance. Along with numbers is an article, talks about handling pain when and if you have the level and feelings you wrote about.

    I hope its ok I have mentioned this, I am really concerned for you right now.
    cathrynme replied to katmandulou's response:
    thank you so much for writing back to me your so caring i want to call the doctor but its always the same thing they dont care they think its all in my head im thinking if my body lets up a little pain wise i should go to the hospital or ride it out i just feel myself giving up and its scaring the crap out of me i am losing the battle to fight this anymore i cant fight im trying everyday but i can feel myself losing if it weren't for the pain meds today again what would i do please do you ever get this bad to a point where you cant fight anymore how do you cope im so glad im here and i found you too so happy its the only hope ive had in a long time i need to be here with people that understand me cause in a world of firbo unless you have it you have no idea what its like only us we get it the people the special people cause ya have to be strong to have this my strong is just not thier right now i never felf so alone and scared i just cant deal with a doctor who dosnt get it i go to a rrematoligist too and he gives me the pills my regular doctor he just treating me for the depression now i dont know where to turn anymore ive tryed it all therpy phisical therpy massage shots of novacane all kinds of drugs now im on a new depression medicen and pecerct and vicodon and zanaz at night to sleep what do you do for this i will look at the help resorces now i have to try anything at this point i cant stand any minute of this pain my love to you please stay in touch with me please i need you love cathrynme
    cathrynme replied to Anon_408's response:
    am so glad you wrote to me im so scared of whats happening to me i feel so scared and in alot of pain i will read the crisis asstance right now thank you anon so much for caring and helping me i feel like something really bad is gonna happen and i never felt like this at this level befor i am just gonna read and write and keep myself here on this website now love me
    Anon_2912 replied to cathrynme's response:
    You really need a therapist, & NO you are not crazy.....

    However, sometimes a thearapist will find ways for us to deal with the daily chronic pain.

    Having FM is sometimes more painful mentally then it is physically.

    Call your doctor....
    cathrynme replied to Anon_2912's response:
    going to the doctor is not an optoion cause they just dont belive me this is why i am in this state i have no where to go my regular doctor dosnt belive in firbo and my remuy doctor will just give look at me like i have too heads and send me to pain management witch ive been too the the drugs they put me on made me wanta die even worst i dont know what to do anymore ive try it all ive try everything i have an appt with my remy doctor next week and my regular doctor on monday if i dont get a break from this horror i will go to the hospital been thier too and they just send me home after they tell me its anixity this just sucks i dont know what eles to do anymore ya see this is wwhy im giving up on me
    Anon_2912 replied to cathrynme's response:
    Ask your doctor for a referral to a thearpist. A phsycologist.

    Tell him you want to work on how to deal with the chronic pain mentally as well.
    cathrynme replied to Anon_2912's response:
    will i promise you i will thank you for that i wrote it down thank you i will ask him
    xperky replied to cathrynme's response:
    You sound so very depressed and in pain. I feel your sense of urgency. It's awful to feel that way. Hugs to you.

    You mention percocet and vicodin for your pain. Some people, and I am one of them, can feel depressed when taking certain pain medicines for more than a few days. You may want to ask your doctor if you can taper into a different type of pain medicine to try. Just a thought, and a question for the doctor.

    The other thing to remember is that it takes time to get used to your new depression medicine. It is very important to be gentle with yourself while going through these changes. Try to do gentle exercise and restful activities that you enjoy. Distractions are great.

    More hugs your way.
    With Compassion,
    annette030 replied to cathrynme's response:
    First, call 911 or your local crisis line for your depression and continued thoughts of suicide. Either that, or stop talking like you want to die, and do something positive for yourself.

    I used cognitive behavioural therapy for depression I had like you are talking about, when FMS symptoms no longer allowed me to work as a nurse. It is hard work, but it does work. You learn that although you cannot control the various things that make you life more difficult to deal with, you CAN control how you choose to respond to them.

    If you are taking an antidepressant, two different short acting opiates, and Xanax, it may be time to re-evaluate your meds. Talk to the doctor who is prescribing this to you. I believe that meds should help you but I don't think any of them cure depression or FMS. If they are no longer helping you, then you should talk to your doctor and see about going off of them, or changing them. Antidepressants often take 3-4 weeks to work at their best level, so try to wait it out if you can.

    I opt for one doctor to write all my RXs as it is safer that way, less chance of a drug interaction. It is a choice for you to make. Some people choose to have more than one doctor write their RXs.

    Take care, Annette
    annette030 replied to cathrynme's response:
    Maybe it is anxiety, we don't know. We can't even see you. Change regular doctors if he does not believe in the illness you have, why see him at all?

    Take care, Annette
    katmandulou responded:
    You have to take the bull by the horns, as the saying goes. If you haven't yet made the call, you must. If your regular doc won't see you, the rheumy should. If the rheumy won't see you, get to an emergency room. You should not have to put up with shoddy treatment by a doc or his/her office staff.

    This is not in your head; well, it kinda is (some theories say that it's from an abnormal pain response to pain), but you're not crazy. Dealing with the pain every day can make you think you're crazy. Pain effects all of us in different ways, and tho we both have FM, we're not experiencing the symptoms the same way.

    You need to let the docs know that you are anxious from the pain. My doc has a sign in all his exam rooms; it says "You have the right to have a life that's pain free." I'm grateful for that. Anon_2912 said ti best "Tell him you want to work on how to deal with the chronic pain mentally as well."

    Again, I beg you to make the calls. I pray you find relief soon. Come back and talk to us. I wish you the best day you can possibly have,Lou
    rj1600 replied to cathrynme's response:
    Hi cat. How are you doing today? I hope you're better. I saw your posts and just wanted to give you some company. My gf has fibro and I try to be there for her when she's going through a rough patch, ad reading posts like yours helps me better understand what people with fibro go through, though I'll never really know. Even still, it bothers me when dr's, family members or anyone looks at my gf like she's crazy or there's something wrong with her if she all of a sudden doesn't feel like doing something. I hope one day to try to raise awareness.

    I think it takes a special kind of person to battle through fibro for 27 years and learn to live a new kind of life. I'm beginning to do the same in some small ways by being a relationship with someone with fibro. I wish I could feel the pain and fatigue she has to go through sometimes so I knew how she felt and I also always wish like I could do something to help her. There were times she wanted to hurt herself in bad moments, and she had clouded judgement. But when the rough time passes, she recollects why she has to keep fighting.

    I think life is beautiful in that a smile can change another person's day, nature dances around us and there's so much to explore in our own minds. Im sure it's tough sometimes for my gf, and I don't know what keeps her pushing on, but I hope you aren't took hard on yourself and push yourself but pace at the same time and just take some time to be proud of things you've done, how well you have dealt with fibro and other life issues. I'm sure I can say for certain there are many people in this world who wouldnt have done as good of a job. And also living in America, sometimes we take for granted how fortunate we are, even if we do suffer from health or financial or whatever issues.

    Anyway. Maybe nothing I said makes sense. But just wanted to give you some company. Take care

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