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    Feel still so sad
    franr posted:
    Dear Fribro family
    It has been 5 weeks sick this major flare up I feel I am making not to much progress. I am waiting for an app at Brighams and Woman's hosptial in Boston on the 22th hoping for the first cancellation. Two trips to the Er .Then I developed thrush in my mouth down into the esophagitis.My primary MD is so understanding but he is trying to take care of the BP problems . I go to bed at night full of hope of what I can do the next day. Then again another day of fitful and sleepless nights. I waky up after hours of no sleep acky and listless. My appetite is still not great.I cannot believe I was the lead nurse of a school system who retired last year took care of 400 children plus in charge of the town and it has come down to this. I am fearful to go out because of the pain. My poor husband feels I am getting better but I donnot see it. I will not return to the psych MD because he pushes too many pills . I pray all the time hoping God will renew my strength.Has anyone one else experienced this. I need my life back,I feel I have so much more to give. Thanks Fran
    squarley responded:
    I am with you Fran ,had fibro20 years,and it is hard life, but you will get good and bad days and on the good days pace you're self, will you ever be the same no but your just be different ,your have to find ways to do thing so you do not suffer, I hope you get some help from your doctors, you can treat your symptoms,it takes tame to a just. I am going through a flare now aching all over tired, not feeling i am going to make it, I must remind my self I have been here before and got through it along with fibro, you have your other health issues, me to i have migraines, meniere's and acid reflux and IBS. you are in my prays and we our here to support you. soft hugs, Shirley
    Anon_10089 responded:
    Hello and sorry for what you're going through. Whenever someone relatively new to FM (not sure if you're new to the diagnosis, but it sounds like your life was "normal" until last year) posts about their frustrations, it makes my heart ache for them because I've been there. I also have gotten through that but I know there is no magic bullet to do so.

    It sounds like you are still in the grieving process of having FM. I think it is a process to get to the point where full acceptance can help. Although I think sometimes acceptance feels a little bit like despair. But some of your angst might be caused by having so much hope at night, then waking up feeling badly, and being emotionally frustrated because of that. Perhaps lower your expectation or make doable goals for yourself. Focus on what you can do. If you can only get up, shower, and get dressed, feel triumphant for that. If you can accomplish one chore, feel good about that.

    FM is often life changing. Many of us do work but perhaps in a different role or for less hours. Also, it can take awhile to figure out the right combination of therapies. For me, I do what it takes to sleep. That means melatonin, benedryl, valerian root, and others, sometimes together. Getting good sleep goes a long way to being in less pain.

    Often, FM makes us have to change our perceptions about ourselves and our abilities. It can be very discouraging to compare your new FM-ridden self to your old self.

    I hope you can get control of your symptoms. That helps a lot and hopefully you can move on and find some things that give back meaning to your life. Until then, don't beat yourself up!
    franr replied to Anon_10089's response:
    Dear Anon
    FM is not a new diagnosis for me I was diagnosed in1993 when noone knew what to do I was sick again for months put on Klonapin and exercise and slowly recovered.I was in remission until 1998 and had a very bad flareup again about 4 months. I guess age is getting the better of me and now I have other health issues plus developed thrush w.I lost my appetite at the beginning of this and now because of mouth sores and possible esophagitis I eat very little.The pharmacologist who treated me was boucing me around too many meds. And now I have to space them so I can swallow them. I have counseled many over the years with fms but now I have to take some of my own advise. Thanks for hearing me out. At least I have this support group to vent. Fran
    Anon_149959 responded:
    oh Mrs Fran, we have ALL felt that way at one time or another.. I am so thankful you have a supportive doctor (you would be surprised there are not that many out there like that) and a support system at home... I totally understand your frustration from going as a normal person to working every day and enjoying life to feeling like you are never going to get better..
    My biggest problem was I did not want ot recognize my limitations, then I would flare and have MAJOR depression because of that flare. The main thing you need to do it if is only for five or ten minutes at time, get up an move yes and it will hurt, but it will help too. that is what I did and it helped a big way.. I am praying for you hang in there and most of all remember you are NOT alone in this..
    Anon_10089 replied to franr's response:
    Sorry for the wrong assumption! You obviously had a job working with people and it sounds like you helped many. It must be hard not having that in your life now. I hope you can find the right combination of meds and other therapies!

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