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    hi... I am till not dealing with this...
    dakotaspirit1957 posted:
    One of thee times I am going to do this right... Lost it 3 times... Maybe I need to be more positive but I am having a hard time coping and dealing with going deaf...

    I remember thinking when I got my last diagnosis of Parkinson's Disease to go with my many others... "OK... That's about enough now... Can't go much farther..."

    MMM... I guess I was wrong... I go in to see a hearing specialist thinking I would hear the usual stop smoking... or you have dirty ears lets clean them... No... I have to hear "Learn sign language..."

    I have been back at the drawing board and forced to accept things I truly never wanted to but this one takes the top notch... When they told me I had cancer and this time it wasn't good... I told them lets beat it and we did... When I asked can we beat it the other day... the answer was no... there is no way to cure it... stop it... or fix what it's done... and slowing it down.. maybe lightly with an appropriate hearing aide... one that adjusts to my hearing as I continue to lose it...

    Now that sounded so promising... didn't it...

    It runs in the family... My Great Grandfather and Grandfather on my Dads side both lost their hearing around my age... and fast... I could hear a year ago... They were the same way... Then suddenly I or We started saying "Huh" a lot... From the time they found out they were going deaf one was deaf in a year and one in 2 years... Wonder where I am at..

    I had noticed that I couldn't here people if they were talking behind me... I had to have the TV almost full blast even with surround sound... Iwas saying huh a lot more or slow down I totally missed that... I kept blaming it on the ringing in my ears... Yeh the tinitis that my the stuff killing my nerves in my ears are causing... I just want to know one thing... When I can't hear the world am I still going to hear this dar-n whistle in my head...??? that would totally suck...

    I guess I am still feeling sorry for myself so it is hard to accept it... I want to hear the birds sing... My children and Grandchildren laugh... My dog bark... and cry when I fall down... I want to hear music... not feel music... I want to hear Christmas bells... I don't want to forget these sounds... like I have forgot the sound of my dead husbands voice and it has only been a little over a year... actually less then that I had a voice message on my phone until last month that I listened to... It disappeared...

    I need to accept this and get back to life... I need to get back to searching for help for learning sign language and maybe getting a hearing aid... I don't have the $1.800 laying around and don't want my son using all his taxes to pay for one... He works hard for his family... He deserves his pay backs...

    I have talked to someone from the Hearing Loss Association of America... they have a chapter near here... Maybe an hour drive... If I can get to a meeting to meet some of them they might have some ways to help me... so I just need to keep doing the research or get back to it... I have been sleeping for 3 days and nights... Fatigue from somewhere... probably depression... can't get ahold of my counselor... It is hard to get her... but I have to call and redo my appointment with her so I hope to talk to her soon... Maybe I won't need her by the time I talk to her...

    Well... best close... Take Care... Love... Jan/Dakota
    dollbug responded:
    Hello Jan.....IT STINKS GETTING OLD....doesn't it? But you know there is only one other choice that we have....(die young) so I guess we really do not have a choice.

    My DH is going deaf also. He has some sort of hearing thing now (not the normal one) and he has used it for a while....he is going to have to go and get a regular hearing aid as well. His insurance will help cover it this year though so that is what we were waiting and hoping for. So now it just needs to get better so he can schedule his appointment. It is always something.

    It is what it is.....and we just have to do what we can to make it better.

    I hope things get better soon for you.

    Take care.


    My personal exchanges are Vitamin D and Pain and Wrath of the Dragon....if you care to visit..
    maggiethedoglover responded:
    Dear Jan,

    Wouldn't it be wonderful if life were only fair and all of the good people like you, got all of the good things in life? I am so sorry to hear about this newest challenge that you have had thrust upon you.

    I wish there were some way we could all pitch in whatever we could afford to help you. Sometimes we feel so powerless to do the right thing, to help someone like you who deserves all of our help.

    All I can do right now is to keep you in a corner of my heart and constantly send soft hugs your way. You have been so helpful and giving to so many of us in this community.

    I hope and pray that things work out for you.

    Many soft hugs,


    Life is a shipwreck but we must not forget to sing in the lifeboats - Voltaire
    dakotaspirit1957 replied to maggiethedoglover's response:
    Hi... I know I have been challenged for a reason... Perhaps someone out there ... a new friend to become... will enter my life at one of these hearing meetings and I will be able to help them... and look I can get help in person... I only live about an hour away from the organization here and have already got plans to meet with them on the 24th... God willing... No other illness keeps me away... You know how making plans with FM is... throw the mixture of MS.. RSD... Parkinson's Disease... not to mention a few lesser few lol... Keeps me hurting and in bed a lot... But I will rest a lot to take the chance for a decent day to make the trip... It is very important... They have connections that will help me get a phone I can hear on for a while and hearing aids to help me hear a while... We hope any way...

    Strange how just last week I was looking for a word program to type for me cuz my shaking and jerking makes typing and writing so difficult... Now I have to deal with going deaf and am sending it back cuz it doesn't like my stuttering fits... keeps asking me to repeat what I say... mmm... I was naughty one night and had to undo a lot lol...but it heard what I heard lol...

    Now I am buying a solar alarm clock with a vibrator that goes between my mattress and bedspring... Sound interesting... Does to me... I am curious if it will cause more pain or feel like a good massage... lol... I may be setting alarms for ever and ever lol... If it feels good lol... Oh could I get so lucky lol...

    I am looking forward to meeting the people on the end of the phone line... I don't get out much and haven't made many friends here... And those that are here are looking at me funny after this last little problem... They have been frustrated talking to me for a while now... I think they thought what I did and I would get my ears cleaned and put on some drug for the tinitis... and be cured... I talked to a couple who have said they just don't know what to say... Or how to deal with it all... Neither do I but I am trying...I have a feeling they might not be interested in trying anymore... Their loss... I know one thing... Even with all these dastardly illnesses I am a good catch... I give till I can't and help till I can't... And even if I can't hear I will still be the me inside right...

    I am getting lengthy here again... Sorry... I am feeling a little bit more myself... and wanted you not to worry as much as I know you are... Yes... I have my shawl wrapping me, my dear Angel... And I am here reading and you have given me inspiration and peace of mind is coming home to my mind... My spirit and soul are becoming the real me again... And I have stopped asking "Why"

    Thanks for writing me and thanks for being here...

    take care... Love... Jan/Dakota
    agrapina replied to dakotaspirit1957's response:
    I feel for you and with you. It's just damn scary to be getting older with new afflictions constantly showing up.

    We didn't get the instruction manual for this sh!t either.

    Sending good thoughts..
    dakotaspirit1957 replied to agrapina's response:
    only problem is... i don't call 55 and 1/2 old... i think i have a lot of so called "living" ahead of me... I was looking forward to so many beautiful sounds most I took for granted... Now I wish i hadn't

    I need a nap and then to make phone calls... will catch you later...

    take care,,, love Jan/Dakota
    katmandulou responded:
    Oh, Jan, such awful news to learn, but I know you'll get through it. Your FMily right here will help you, and you'll maybe develop another just like this one.
    ( hugs )
    xperky replied to dakotaspirit1957's response:
    That's one more thing you didn't plan on dealing with, isn't it? I'm sorry you will be losing your hearing. We count on all our senses and when one goes wrong it is nerve wracking.

    One positive note is that you might enjoy teaching your grandkids how to sign! They will benefit from their new knowledge too.

    Many hugs for you.
    With Compassion,
    teegeeme responded:
    I'm in the same boat with is awful...I have been learning to read lips. I hope that you can do the same. God Bless you! Teresa

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