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    brittanyt416 posted:
    Hi all, i just recently lost my 10 month old baby boy to a grand mal seizure robbing his braing of oxygen. It was so sudden and devastating and ludacris i'm not sure how much more of pretending i'm a happy little sunshine i can do. I'm dying.. i can't do this?! This is crazy.. can't have happened to me. Not ever! i mean what kind of person must i be!? Is this Karma, bc i've NEVER done anything to deserve this. Please someone.. come up w/ the answers. No one can ever seem to find them 4 me.. Thanks, Britt.
    An_198030 responded:
    I pray you find comfort in reading the book by Jean Werth, a very dear friend, "There's someone in your kingdom, Lord."
    Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
    Dear Brittany,

    No, this is not karma or punishment of any kind. That would almost help, wouldn't it? At least then it would make some sense.

    That's not how it works though. There's nothing you did to deserve this. It just happened. I wish there were better answers for you.

    I am so sorry for your loss. You say it was recent so give yourself time. You will never ever forget him or stop missing him, but it won't destroy you each and every day, as time goes on.

    Take care of your physical well being and keep reaching out to others. Be kind to yourself and keep talking here if it helps.

    It may also help to journal about how you are feeling and how you feel about him and about your memories of him. (((softhugs)))
    piggy80218 responded:
    Dearest Brittany416,
    No you do not have to be " little Miss Sunshine )
    My advice - Take one day at a time, and take care of YOU...
    My son passed 7 yrs ago from rare seizure dis-order.
    Let me tell you I still have good and bad days.
    May is very diffcult mo. because it is my B-day, then Mother's day,then my son's B-day.
    Here are some great resorces on-line -
    1.MISS Foundation
    2.The Compassionate friends - on-line, and the hospital have access to the monthly meetings.
    3. Bereavement also has a magizine for resonable price.
    My thoughts are w/ you , and take care of you. If you need to nap take a nap. I am more then happy to talk w/ you if you want
    littlewing12 responded:
    I am so sorry about your baby boy. I don't know what you are going through, but my cousin's neighbor also lost their son to a seizure. They have set up a web site call Danny Did. The link is . They have links and resources, but most importantly they want other parents to know they are not alone. I know they have trouble looking to the future at times, but some how they do it. I do hope this link helps.
    An_198031 responded:
    i had a baby boy on november 23rd 2009 at 20 weeks premature...i was so happy the day i found out that i was pregnant because the doctors said that there would be a slim chance for me to get pregnant due to having polycystic ovaries and one filopian the day that i found out that i was in labor (and didnt even know it) and that there was no chance at survival for my baby and that they could not do anything for me or him to even try to save his life...well you know how i felt ...people always tell me that it will get easier over time... says people that it never happened to...i still carry the pictures that i have of him everywhere with me...i still look at him almost everyday...nobody ever deserves the loss of a child and until it happened to me i never gave it much thought...which is very sad that it took it happening to me for me to see that i wasnt the only person in life...i wasnt the only person that it has happend to...i understand completely how you feel and have asked myself the same questions...if i would have just gone to the hospital sooner...i didnt feel my contractions because i have a incompetent cervix so my whole pregnancy was full of them...i thought that was the way it was...i thought pregnancy just hurt...i went to everyone of my doctors appointments and i had my baby just 5 days after my last doctors appointment...thay said my cramps and pains were normal and that everything was fine...i had just found out on that visit that it was a baby boy...its very hard to pretend that you are happy when you feel so much loss i know from experience...when you think my baby would be this old now, i wonder what he would have looked like...i wonder what color hair and eyes he would have had...i wonder what his cry would sound not sure what all the answers are but i just want you to know that there is another person out there that has the same feelings and the same thought as you...i still feel like i did something wrong that i could have prevented it in some way...that there was more that i could have very sorry for you loss...nobody should ever have to go through something like this...

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