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    Welcome to Grumpy Groupies!!! This group is open to every one. I hope that all my buddies will join and use it often. Sad or happy, NO discussion is taboo. I do ask that you use Trigger in the title when necessary. Hopefully we can have fun and also support those who are having a hard time. Muahs
    Adventures in mellyland
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    mellyagain posted:
    So, in case anyone didn't know, about 6 months ago, my oldest came out of the closet. Not that I didn't already know, but he did. And I was proud of him. That must be a horrible secret to hide inside and feel like you can't tell anyone. Since then, he has blossomed, come out of his shell, and had one heck of a lot more confidence. He graduated high school this past Sunday.

    Today, I decide to do a "surprise" inspection of my 14 yr old's computer. Go into his email and low and behold, he has joined one porn site after another including "chat" options. I about died at the chat options, but the porn was no surprise. We have the talk and I make him unregister for each site in his mailbox.

    Call his dad, tell him what I found and I have taken care of it (he has never had the sex talk with him - ever). Guess what he says? "For God's sake, tell me it was straight porn.". Seriously? This was the concern. Not that our 14 yr old was chatting up child predators probably, by that it was straight porn. UGGHHHHHHH!!!!
     
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    bpcookie responded:
    Oh boy. Your ex sounds like my freakin ex.

    Here is a funny story. My mother kept finding porn mags stuffed behind the toilet. She thought they belonged to my brother, who was about 15 yrs. old at the time. So not wanting to embarrass him, she would put the mags. in his clothes drawer each time she found one. One day her husband comes up to her and says "Do you know what keeps happening to my porn mags.? They keep disappearing". LOL. I bet my brother thought he had the coolest mom that ever lived.
    When all else fails, go Bipolar all over their azzes!!
     
    avatar
    davedsel2 responded:
    Melly, I give you a great deal of credit for how well you are handling this difficult situation. You are being an excellent parent. Our children need our unconditional love and protection, and that is exactly what your are giving your son.

    I will pray that you keep the strength to continue handling all this properly.
     
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    dibbits0530 responded:
    Hi Melly

    The cost is enough to work with. Figure where the porn intertwines with his "coming out". If there is no emotion involved with this, it is relative to the sites he visits. He may not be what he thinks he is.

    david
    take from each day, all that is comes your way - then return, only the very best that you are
     
    avatar
    mellyagain replied to dibbits0530's response:
    The oldest checked out all kinds of porn at 14. Straight, gay, LGBT. You name it. We have that chat when he was 14 too. He is gay. He is who he is. It is not a curiosity or exploration. I hope he will find a partner someday in life who will be his other half and support and love him the way he deserves. So far, he has struggled with this at a high school level. College, and the location, will be different I am sure.

    The porn fan now is my youngest, who at 14, is straight. He checks out girls all the time. Always has. He has a girlfriend right now that he is too scared to even hold her hand. It is cute to see the affection they have for each other, but too scared and shy to act on it. Sweet, innocent love in its purest form. But he was all about squirters and masterbation of women. Lol. He is trying to figure out lady anatomy. Imagine having to explain that not all woment ejaculate like that when they orgasm (and yeah, I had to explain that term too...ugh). He was so embarassed. His health ed class at school explained the science of it all, but not the emotional side.

    Got to give hubs credit. Not his kid, and given his background, never really been a parent role before, explained to him about surprise erections and what to do about them. I thought they were both going to die, but they made it through.

    But the ex wonders wtf he has no relationship with the oldest. Ummm...because of things like this? The oldest came to me because I always accepted the questions and discussions with as much ease and outward comfort as I could muster. Now we are repeating the process. I just want them to be able to talk about anything with me. That line between parent and friend is hard to walk. Ya know?

    But it really pissed me off that he was more worried about the type of porn as opposed to the danger S put himself into. Really? An image can be explained. My kid being kidnapped and carried off by some predator cannot. I live, literally, 30 minutes from where they tape all the dateline exposes for this crap. Once a week the neighboring county arrests no less than a dozen child predators a week. And this idiot is worried about whether it is straight porn or gay? If it was gay, so what?

    Ok. Gotta calm down cause this moron will be here some time today to pick up the kid. He failed 8th grade and has to do summer school to recover his credit to move on to high school. And S has decided he wants to do that from here, not his dad's. Will not be a good discussion, let alone the porn stuff. Wish me luck.
     
    avatar
    mercygive replied to mellyagain's response:
    Good luck Melly! I hope your son can live with you while he is going to summer school. You are emotionally strong for your children and you would be a great educational tutor too. Have a happy Sunday!
     
    avatar
    dibbits0530 replied to mellyagain's response:
    Thanks for the insight Melly.
    Identity is such a struggle for anyone in a society that has an openly unprotected moral. I have an great understanding of the "gay" community having lived inside of it for almost a decade. I'm a lifetime student of the human existence in an amoral world. I'm not a right, wrong or sideways person. I'm also a spiritualist who studies otherworldly existences. I applaud your openness. It is refreshing to see. At age 35, I became measured with children. Parenthood is instinctual, not taught. Environment gives us what we become. Instinct from our environment must be tested yet we must have an intimate bond with our Creator to make it all work out. It is not ours alone. Understanding where we come from, how we got here, why we are here, then moving through life successfully. Why their is evolution and not just (snap) is. I've already gone off track. Parenthood is a wonderful thing because we come to witness this. Being inside our Creation and not set apart as witness are two accountings. We are born inside the Creator and by virtue of his love and our bond to that love we are bound to our earthy parents reborn into this evolution that we witness in human form. We are given to receive, by virtue of that same love another, to (as the Creator) love and give to this world. That the Creator's love might be understood and kept within us so we might return to Our Creator, love Him even more and grant that love there to others who yet cannot see.

    I do hope this helps Melly, they are not completely my words for I am not totally responsible for them. I only put them here for others to see

    david
    take from each day, all that is comes your way - then return, only the very best that you are


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