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    Welcome to Grumpy Groupies!!! This group is open to every one. I hope that all my buddies will join and use it often. Sad or happy, NO discussion is taboo. I do ask that you use Trigger in the title when necessary. Hopefully we can have fun and also support those who are having a hard time. Muahs
    Waking up Angry!! Often!
    An_266718 posted:
    Most mornings, when I first wake up, I am either really sad or Really Mad!! Today I was MAD. I am 35 yrs old and I live with my bf. I try to joke about it and say that I am not responsible for what I say or do when I first wake up. But it's really not funny, especially if you are in my path during one of these mornings. It's like the minute I open my eyes, my brain is flooded with negative feelings and thoughts. One thing for sure that sets me off, if I wake up and have unresolved feelings from the day before, like regrets or hurt feelings. I wake up and whatever those negative feelings are, turn quickly into furry. I even throw (embarrassing) fits. I will hit the wall as I am turning on the lights, literally try to rip my pillow in half, and I honestly do not see how my coffee pot has made it through my furious, make coffee as fast and hard as I possibly can fits. And if my boyfriend is in the path of destruction, I will say something really ugly to him. Sometimes I will yell at him about something that I seriously need to talk to him about or a issue in our relationship, but I make it way worse by saying it in a very hateful way. then when I really want to talk about that particular subject, it's already tainted bc of the way I brought it up or the rude things I have said about it in my fit of rage. Well, that's what happened this morning and I am feeling full of shame and regret right now as I write this. I WENT OFF ON HIM. I was physically throwing a fit until I was out of breath. Yeah, I did that. All bc I felt like I didn't sleep well or comfortably bc he was always in my way or laying near me. (He is very affectionate and touchy and me not so much) After a few minutes of being awake, I started feeling horrible about the way I acted. I said I was sorry, but sorry doesn't cut it this time. And it shouldn't. I was mean. But now it's awkward and we haven't spoken in hours. I know that I am in the wrong, but at the same time, I see Red when I wake up and have to get through that, ALMOST EVERY DAY. IT'S NOT FAIR TO ME OR ANYONE AROUND ME. I Can literally feel the chemicals in my brain rush over me when I wake up (or that's how it seems ) and have to try to pull it back in and be normal. Every day.

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    Im 43. Was dx'ed BP1 and GAD about 6 years ago. Mainly deal with depression. Currently on lithium and wellbutrin. I have serax also but rarely (ra...More

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