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    Losing hope.. clomid/pcos/hsg/heart-shaped uterus
    nlj627 posted:
    This is the first time in my life posting to a chat board but I am losing hope and could really use someone ANYONE! to talk to about it. My husband and I have been ttc for a little over a year. About 6months ago I had a horrible pain and ended up having surgery for a cyst that had ruptured and was causing internal bleeding.. it was about 8in long and about as big around as a soft ball. It was terrifying but it started our journey because from there they realized there was alot of other things wrong. From there I have been doing testing to find out why I havent gotten pregnant yet. I found out that I have pcos.. then my doctor said ok thats an easy fix.. we can give you clomid and you will be pregnant.. lets just do some toher tests first to make sure everything else is ok. I did an HSG 3 days ago (horrible pain!!). My left tube was blocked but the dye unblocked it. I also had a kidney ultrasound (still waiting on results) and I also found out that I have a very messed up uterus. Its heartshaped/tilted/backwards and turned on its side. I am supposed to go to a fertility expert but still waiting on the approval from tricare.. it should be in this week. My husband is in the navy on submarines so he is typically home 5ish months and gone 3ish. He is gone right now and its really hard for me to deal with this. He has a daughter from a previous relationship (she is my whole world!!) so its hard for him to understand how i feel sometimes but he trys so hard and I know that he feels the pain of wanting a child just as much as I do. With him gone we dont really get communication so I cant talk to him and I just dont know what else to do. I feel like every time I overcome one hurdle there is another one right infront of me. Some days I am positive and others I just lose all hope. I want to be pregnant and have a child more than anything in this world and I just feel so scared that it may never happen. My husband comes home in a few months and hopefully if all goes well all of the doctors will say everything is ok enough to start the clomid and hopefully it works!! Is there anyone out there that can relate to this at all with any positive advice? Thank you just for reading this I know it is long but it feels so good just to let it all out!
    An_243595 responded:
    I read your post and wanted to give you some encouragement. Don't lose hope! I have experienced what you are going through. I am a stepmom and seeing my husband interact with his children makes me want to have a child more ever. I can't wait to experience raising a child with my husband. (I'm sure you know how difficult being a stepmom can be when Mother's Day, birthday's etc. roll around) I had a miscarriage over a year ago and have been TTC with no luck. I dealt with the pain of cysts and not having a period for most of that time but now my cycle is finally on track. Each cycle is difficult because I keep hoping that I'll be pregnant and feel crushed when it doesn't happen. I've even thought about going to a fertility clinic to see if there is something wrong with me but decided to speak with my husband about how I was feeling. Although I was trying to get him on board with going to a fertility clinic he reminded me that I need to have FAITH. If we focus on the Lord he will get us through this tough time. He brings life into this world and He knows the desires of our heart. Just try to relax, nurture your relationship with your husband and it will happen for you. I think the stress and worrying that you're experiencing could be blocking your blessing. I'm not sure if you read the Bible but there's a verse that states, 'seek ye first the kingdom, and all these things will be added onto you.' This means seek God first and He will bless you with the desires of your heart. I truly hope this encourages you
    countrypumkn responded:
    Hi, I read your post and understand how you feel, I to never write post on chat boards, but its nice to talk to some one going through the same thing as you. My husband and I have been trying for 3 years. He is in the army and we also have Tricare. After a year 1/2 of trying we went to a fertiity doctor. Had to get a lot of test done. Tricare does cover it. We started IUI, which to my suprise Tricare covered most of that as well. We did 2 IUI's before my husband got deployed. He came home and we tried again on our own for over a year before going back to doctor. Just had my third IUI last month. No luck. Went in for my fourth IUI but they found a cyst so I have to take a break this month and start again next month. It is so faustrating and disapointing. I'm a nanny and so ready to have my own children. I've been taking care of other peoples kids, which I do love, but feel like its my turn I just want to let you know not to give up and stay positive. Stay strong as well, I know its even harder when you are a military wife. I refuse to give up and still have Faith that I will become pregnant. Even if we have to do IVF. I wish you the best of luck and lots of baby dust your way! Hope all your test come back fine!

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