Baby's First Year Community

Hi ladies...

I know I should technically be posting this on 3-6 mos, but I don't feel like I "know" a lot of the moms over there like I know you so I am posting here instead. We desperately need prayers...

Some of you may remember my DD had been diagnosed with a rare form of bacterial meningitis shortly after birth (the doctors theorize she contracted it in the nursery shortly after birth but couldn't say for sure). She spent 22 days in the NICU receiving massive doses of IV antibiotics. We were told that had we not brought her to the ER as promptly as we did (she was running a 104 degree fever & had the highest level of infection in her spinal fluid they had ever seen in an infant) she wouldn't have survived the night. After 22 long days in the NICU they finally sent her home. They told us it seemed as though she might have escaped any long term consequences of the meningitis as her MRI came back fairly normal aside from some slight inflammation.

Fast forward to last night: We brought Taylor to get her portrait taken as it was her 3 month "birthday". She looked absolutely beautiful & was smiling & cooing the whole time. I was so happy. Afterwards we went home & I went to give her a bottle as it was time for her to eat. She only took about an ounce (she normally takes 6) then suddenly & violently began projectile vomiting... millk was pouring out of her nose & she started to cry. Then 5 min later out of nowhere it happened again. I KNEW something wasn't right as she NEVER vomits. My DH & I rushed her to the ER & my parents met us there. They did a CAT scan & our worst fears were confirmed.

The doctors told us that the vomiting had been due to increased intracranial pressure. The ventricles in Taylor's brain are very enlarged compared with the MRI that was done when she had meningitis. Basically the scar tissue that formed in her brain from the meningitis caused a build up of fluid to occur. They then proceeded to tell us that our baby would need to be admitted & that neurosurgery would be meeting with us this morning to discuss possible surgery to place a shunt in Taylors head to relieve the pressure on her brain.

This is a very frightening and horrific experience for us. We are absolutely terrified. I can't believe my beautiful & sweet baby is going to need brain surgery. It hasn't even sunken in yet. I feel like I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from. This is unreal. My poor Taylor has been through so much pain & suffering in her short time on this earth. I would give. ANYTHING to trade places with her. It's just not fair & it breaks my heart into a million little pieces.

DH & I are sitting at her bedside as we speak. We are waiting on the neurosurgeons to come talk to us. She is sleeping right now & looks so angelic. All I can do is cry. I have never been so scared in my entire life. This just goes to show how life can truly change in an instant. Taylor had hit all her milestones... her head is actually on the low end of normal size (surprising due to the fluid on her brain)... She just appeared perfectly healthy on the outside. But on the inside...something was so very wrong. I am in shock. The tears won't stop flowing. Even my mom spent the night throwing up she was so upset. I'm trying to be strong for Taylor as she can sense when I am upset. After the doctors broke the news to us last night I was crying of course & Taylor was staring at me with her big blue eyes, then suddenly reached out & squeezed my fingers. It was like she was trying to tell me "it's ok mama."

I am crying too hard to even type anymore, so I will end this. Please ladies... Keep baby Taylor in your prayers. I will keep you posted.