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    Retired with grown children....
    Yupitsjoy posted:
    Hi all.......I am 53 years old and have become recently disabled (not debilitating just enough that I can't work something I have done since I was 12), I was married for 18 years, but am no longer. I raised 4 kids, the oldest is 32 never married but with 2 children he is bi-polar and has decided that the family is not to be a part of his life. So not much a part of my life. My daughter is 29 and married with one child of her own and 2 step children, they both work full time and I babysit the youngest one day a week sometimes 2. I also have twin son 27 one is married with 2 children which I babysit 4 days a week + because my son works full time and my daughter-in-law goes to school full time. The other twin works part time and is in school full time. I see him often but he smokes allot of marijuana and since the other twin and I have a mother daughter and does not want that around (can't blame him) it causes allot of friction. So here I am retired in an empty nest a young 53 babysitting is nice but now its all I have I was always the lady in charge the matriarch. Now not only do I have no one to take care of but in addition this will be the first year that I am not running the holidays which used to have lots of functions arranged by me and all the meals cooked by me and everyone came to my house, they will all be doing their own things at their houses. I am at a loss as to what to do with myself and depression is setting in..... Any thoughts:) Thanks all Joy
    77grace responded:
    I was wondering ,because you did'nt say ,what is your Disability??Since we all relate to pain I am guessing thats part of it!!!
    I can imagine after being the one in the family who was in Control for so long its hard to give it up!!!My Mom is that way,although she is alot older!She is the one who always arranged the Christmas parties and all other events too,but now she is getting old and does'nt really enjoy it much,mostly because the family lives a few hours away!
    I think it would be a good idea to find otheer things to do!She got envolved in things that keep her more busy than before and Loves it!!!
    I'll post more latter ,this is getting long!
    Take care! 77grace
    annette030 responded:
    Sounds like it is time to start some new traditions at your house.

    Maybe a lot luck where everyone brings something instead of you doing all the cooking. Let people know way ahead of time so there are no surprises. My mom announced when she was about 62 or so that in future she would go wherever the party was, but she was not cooking and the party would not be at her house. She stayed in a motel sometimes and at our house sometimes, depending on the situation. That seemed very strange to us, but it meant she had a quiet place to go relax after dinner.

    Take care, Annette

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