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    putting to bed with wet hair
    jamchale posted:
    I am having a discussion with my daughter-in law about putting 1 yr old to bed in winter with wet hair after bath. She has had three colds already this winter season. Her Mom blames it on teething. I say she should not be put to bed with wet hair. Bedroom is cooler than rest of house and I think she may be getting a chill.
    tlkittycat1968 responded:
    Putting someone to bed with wet hair will not cause a cold. I used to shower at night and would go to bed with wet hair all the time and didn't get an unusual number of colds.

    What causes colds in the winter is that people are indoors more and so there are more people in an enclosed space. You're around more people and if one of them had a cold, you might catch it.
    sarahann1978 responded:
    I don't think going to bed with wet hair would cause illness, it's just that time of year when bugs are going around. Does the girl go to daycare? If she does she will probably be sick all winter long, my son was the first year he went to daycare.

    As a daughter-in-law I would caution you to be careful about casting judgement. If my mother-in-law gave me that advice and was persistent about it, it would make me very angry. She is the mom and she will do things her way, try to only advise when it is solicited.
    Sarah (33), DH(30), DS (Jan. 09)
    jlynnpaine responded:
    I agree with the other posters. Going to bed with wet hair is not going to give her a cold. My DD goes to bed with wet hair every night and is very rarely sick. Winter is definitely the time for colds. Good handwashing, healthy diets, and plenty of rest are the best ways to avoid colds but really, it's bound to happen, especially in children who's immune systems are still encountering all sorts of new germs and viruses.
    Jodi (27) DH (24) Shaelynn (2)
    orin34 replied to sarahann1978's response:
    Thanks for pointing that out sarah and I have to give your advice a BIG thumbs up.
    I agree with the others that it does not give you a cold... it might MAKE you cold so you need another blanket if the air is chilly.... but actually give you a bug? no.
    What I gave a thumbs up about was the caution about getting involved in how she raises her child. I have had mother in law issues since the moment my mother in law found out I was pregnant. I have had to deal with this same type of "judgment call conflict" and have gotten many "interventions" or "talks" about how I do things with my son (ironic since she admits that my son is the most well behaved and happy child out of ANY child she has known). In short and I KNOW this is a strong word and I do not throw it around lightly, but here it goes: I HATE HER!
    Keep in mind my MIL does this all the time.... day in, day out... and has some other really unattractive qualities as well.
    BabyParks responded:
    I hate to hear she is so sick and hopefully she will get better soon. I would be thrilled if I had a mother in law that I could have come around but she is into drugs and just not a part of mine and my husband's lives but that said. I am very thankful for not having to deal with what alot of my friends have to deal with. They all hate their mother in laws and that is so sad to me. I pray everyday for my son and who he will one day marry but I cannot pick her but I can pray and believe God will send him the one he is to marry but I will respect her and give her space and I will not give her any advice on parenting. I am very thankful that my mom lets me do things my way also. I was worried she would try to take control and tell me what to do but doesn't. She is a good mama and knows I have to learn as I go. I don't put my son to bed with wet hair just because I don't like to have wet hair myself but I know it wouldn't hurt him if I did.
    jamchale replied to BabyParks's response:
    Thanks for your insight. I really have a great relationship with my daughter-in law. I might have over reacted to this wet head deal because I hate to see my grandaughter sick.
    jamchale replied to orin34's response:
    I really have a great relationship with my daughter-inlaw ( I think) I ususally hold my tongue even when I disagree with her. She is a great mother and I might have over reacted to this wet head thing because my grandaughter was so sick. I will make sure I tell her. Thanks for reminding me about my place.
    jamchale replied to sarahann1978's response:
    Thanks for the reminder. I really do have a great relationship with my daughter in-law and usually respect her way of doing things. I may have over reated about the wet hair thing because my grandaughter was so sick. I will make sure I admit this to my daughter-inlaw.
    jlynnpaine replied to jamchale's response:
    I think it's very impressive that you are willing to try to mend things with your DIL and admit that you overreacted. She's lucky to have a MIL that is willing to do that. Not all of us are so lucky. I hope your granddaughter feels better soon.
    Jodi (27) DH (24) Shaelynn (2)
    orin34 replied to jamchale's response:
    Good for you for coming forward and admitting you might have spoken out when you probably shouldn't have! My MIL would NEVER admit fault to anything. One of our big battles that we have argued over A LOT is that it is different when your grandson/daughter come from a daughter in law versus when they come from your actual daughter. There are some occasions that the DIL will prefer the in laws (my cousins wife) but almost everyone I know has voiced that it just isn't the same when the grandchildren come from a DIL. My MIL is nuts... So I can tell you why it's different for us..... But it just seems to work that way for some reason... I can't put my finger on exactly why... Do you have a daughter?
    jamchale replied to orin34's response:
    I do not have a daughter but am very blessed to have two great daughter-inlaws. For the record we did not really argue over the wet hair deal I just mentioned my opinion and we went on with things. I find it very interesting that while polling women at work in the over 30 crowd, most agreed with me. The new moms in their 20's don't think it is a big deal. I think the internet has changed the way young mother's care for their babies. So much information is available to them. We just had a book and our own mother's experiences . ( which we did value). Too bad everyone can't have a good relationship with their Mother-inlaws. It is so much fun to share all the special moments. My Daughter-inlaw does this often and is constantly developing pictures for me of the moments I do miss.
    sarahann1978 replied to jamchale's response:
    You sound like an awesome MIL, and it's great that you care!

    I don't have a terrible relationship with my MIL, I just remember especially that first year it was hard as we were getting used to being parents and she would give her thoughts about things and especially in my hormonal state it just did not set well with me. I had similar feelings at times about my own mom, but it's easier to talk to her and let her know when her comments were not in line with our thinking, or when new studies showed that the old ways aren't the way to go. My MIL and I worked through that time and we work really hard now at trying to see each others views and be respectful. I too send her lots of photos and try to involve her as much as possible.

    I think sometimes when moms and MILs say things it strikes a nerve more than they intended the comment and we just need to not take everything to heart.
    Sarah (33), DH(30), DS (Jan. 09)

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