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    Hey everyone possible triggs
    sarah0323 posted:
    I haven't been on in a while. My oldest son has bi-polar and some other diag and he has been on a bad downward spiral since October of last year. He is currently on his 2nd hospital ization. On Tuesday he broke a pair of scissors and threatened to stab his teacher and destroyed the classroom. He ended up assulting 3 police officers before it was all over with. I keep thinking what did i do wrong. I t is so bad that I can't work. Today he told them a lie that has resulted in a report to child welfare. I just can't believe everything that is happening right now.I know he is where heneeds to be hut I don't understand the lieing. I don't under stand all of his anger. What is worse I have been to count less places and we were told several times that he would have to get into trouble with the law before we could get him the help that he needs.

    It seems like I am in a horrible nightmare right now. When we were signing him into the hospital I heard a older boy saying the same things that my ds was saying. I looked at my SO and said it never ends does it. I know
    Me 33, DD - O 13, DS1 -J 8, DS2 - Cr 6, DS3 - Co 5, DD2 - E (11/10)
    iocasta responded:
    I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what you are going through right now. Hopefully, you all can get the help that you need sooner rather later. You're in my thoughts, take care.
    seeit2 responded:
    I'm so sorry this is happening. If it helps, you should know that it can and does get better. My older sister is bipolar (and schizoaffective - she hears voices) and we went through years of hell with her (she self-medicated with drugs and alcohol until she was 30 and finally got the help she needed) but she has had steady meds and therapy and has been healthy and happy for over 15 years now. She's even happily married. There was such a long time when we felt we were just riding a roller coaster to her death or imprisonment...but with help and patience it did get better. Right now I'm sure it seems like that is impossible...but he does have a whole lifetime to level out and learn to cope. I think you reach a place where just keeping them alive is a major struggle, but once you get those outside influences involved (and they don't always help right off) you can get on a better path. It may not be the path you chose! But their intervention can ultimately get him to a safe place. You certainly can't do it by yourselves. And no, there is nothing you could have done differently. I hope you can accept that. You are doing your best job right now, hanging on and trying to get him to the best place you can. Please just hang on. And let us know if we can help.

    Esmerelda Supercalifragilistic (42) DD (6) DS (3) Just eat it, will ya
    mrswhitecastle responded:
    It's good to hear from you. I'm sorry things are not going so well right now. You and your family are in our thoughts. This isn't your fault, and you didn't do anything wrong. Keep repeating that to yourself, even if you don't totally believe it at first. It will eventually sink in.

    And please keep posting as you can.
    Emily (8) Elizabeth (6)
    sarah0323 replied to mrswhitecastle's response:
    Thanks everyone. My SO and I had a long talk today. We are going to make some changes. My grandma has Alzheimer's and is at the end stages. I have been caring for her for the last 5 years but the last 6 months have been hard. I am going to be visiting nursing homes next week. I just have to get rid of some of the stress.

    J has been going through a growth spurt so we have had some issues with the right drug combo and strength. Jacob was diagnosed 4 years ago. Some times are better than others. Right now I just want to keep him safe. He is so unstable right now that he is being evaluated for a 30 to 45 day stay. This is his 3rd hospitalization since he has been diagnosed. Both of my younger boys have been diagnosed with bipolar as well. Their anger/violence isn't as bad yet.

    I am taking it one day at a time sometimes by the hour. Something I'm learning is that I have to take care of myself first. Though since he had the issue at school, his teacher did apologize to me for telling me I was a bad parent earlier this year. I told her it's OK until you have lived with it you really don't understand. A few months ago I wouldn't have been able to say that.
    Me 33, DD - O 13, DS1 -J 8, DS2 - Cr 6, DS3 - Co 5, DD2 - E (11/10)
    crunk05177 replied to sarah0323's response:
    I'm sorry things have been so tough! I hope that they can find the right meds for him and he feels better soon! I have a friend with bipolar disorder who would get hospitalized every few years because the meds that did work, he became immune to so they would have to find a different solution at the time. He is lucky to have you, and remember this is not his fault and it is definitely not yours either. I remember a few months back when he had a bad moment, you and your daughter were seeing a therapist. I hope you are still doing that. Good luck and we are all here for you as much as we can be!! ::HUGS::
    Me (29), DH (31), DS1 - Michael (6) and DS2 - Nathan (3 - severe peanut allergy and an egg allergy)
    jlynnpaine responded:
    I cannot even imagine the amount of stress you're dealing with right now. I hope things get better soon and that the doctors and counselors can help ease some of your load and help Jacob find ways to cope and find the right combo of meds. I've been lurking for awhile and remember reading about his last hospitalization. You're a very strong and loving mother and I admire you a lot.

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