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    7 year-old with attitude and mood swings
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    mom2quads posted:
    Ok, I hope I am not alone in this because I am about to lose my mind. One of my girls seems to have these crazy mood swings. One minute she is smiling, happy-go-lucky, playful, loving....and the next (usually when I ask her to do a chore, homework, bath, bedtime, etc....or when someone wants to watch something diff on tv, someone touches one of her toys...etc) she explodes in a fit of whining, crying, telling us no, saying it's not fair, going limp when we try to pick her up, getting very hateful and saying we don't make her brother and sister do the same things (but we do. they all have the same responsibilities). I have tried everything I can think of to bring her back to a calm state. I have bent down where I am at her eye level (even laid on floor by her!). We have tired punishment such as no tv, video games, fav stuffed animal, etc. Also tried having her sit in a "time-out" spot. She has been sent to bed early. Nothing seems to phase her. She will continue her "fit throwing" until she eventually falls asleep or realizes we are not giving in. Which, by the way, I don't give in. I will admit, much to the dismay of those against spanking, that I have even swatted her. Now, mind you, I was raised in the day when this was acceptable, and I still find it so when it is needed...not excessive or abusive though.

    Does anyone else have these issues with your child around the same age? Any suggestions? I have honestly considered counseling for her. She is the "middle child" now that one of the quads passed away. Is middle child syndrome a real thing? Because she's not the "baby" of the four? Because she's not the oldest?

    Please help! (And...thank you in advance!)
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    mom2quads replied to lemom's response:
    Hi lemom,
    I'm so sorry I didn't reply sooner! I don't get on here very often and my notifications are not working. I'm sorry you are having the same problems. It sounds like we are not alone, which is comforting in a sad kinda way.

    My daughter is 10 now and still having the same issues. Still have not had her evaluated, but I have a call in to a friend who is a school psychologist. Hoping she can give me some pointers.

    Over the past week I have worked very hard to maintain a calm, even temper with my daughter. Even when she comes unglued and starts yelling, I have not raised my voice or gotten upset. Actually I've forced myself to do the opposite and calmly sit by her, hold her, and talk about what's bothering her. If at all possible I try to make her smile or laugh and that usually brings her out of it.

    Best wishes my friends!
     
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    mom2quads replied to ExtremeEllison's response:
    Hi ExtremeEllison. I'm sorry you are having the same problems with your daughter. I wish I could say things have gotten better or I've had her evaluated, but neither are true. She is now 10 years old and the meltdowns and anger issues have not slowed. In my reply to 'lemom' a few minutes ago, I told her what I've been trying to do this past week which is remain calm when she has a meltdown. It's been extremely difficult, but I have noticed since I stopped raising my voice to talk over her when she's upset it's a little better. I force myself to smile, hold her, and talk to her about what is bothering her. Which is not always easy because she has to be calm enough to hear me. But anyway, then I try to make her see the bright side of the situation (hopefully there always is one), and make her smile or laugh. I really think my calm approach has helped. Now...getting my husband to stop raising his voice and staying calm is another thing. He still does it, and her meltdowns go into overdrive. I've had to finally tell him not to talk to her if he's upset because she draws that negativity and forces it back on us. Been quite an adventure!

    Best wishes friends!
     
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    jscmum responded:
    I do hope you receive this, it has been 4 years. I have a 12 year old daughter who is about to turn 13. She was just like your daughter, only over the years she has gotten worse. I too am at my wits end. My daughter is a kind, helpful person at school (although she does have an IEP due to undiagnosed learning issues). At home we walk on eggshells, never knowing what is going to set her off.

    Last night it was the way her little sister said "I love you" she didn't like it. Some days because her hair is too knotty, she'll yell at me for offering to help saying "I don't need your help I'm nit a baby". Then turn around and yell at me some more saying "You know could help me".

    I often feel as though I will get whiplash from her everchanging moods. I am considering taking her to have mental health assessments done. My husband believes she will learn to control her temper. I hope things have gotten better for you, I would like to hear how your daughter is now, and if uou got any help for her.
     
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    momuv4girls replied to jscmum's response:
    Hi Mom,

    Children often times can hold it together during a school day, then when they get home in the comfort of those they love, let loose.

    Has your daughter always been a bit difficult, or is this behavior somewhat new?
    My youngest daughter was always challenging, but my 3rd daughter had a shift once she hit puberty. Estrogen dramatically increases during puberty and may contribute to depression / mood issues.
    Here is a good link about teens and depression:
    http://www.helpguide.org/articles/depression/teen-depression-signs-help.htm

    You may want to have an evaluation done by a professional if your home-life has turned into a battle ground, and you guys are having a hard time 'enjoying' your daughter.

    I understand how hard this is, and believe me, you're not alone. Take care!
    -Kathleen
     
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    ryanbrowning115 responded:
    You are not alone! My son can definitely be like this!
     
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    mom2orb replied to sisiandkais's response:
    I am in the same club as you ladies and much like you girls we have done it all! advice from doctors friends and family and lets face its hard to define cause gawd knows what sets them off cause it could be ANYTHING. i did want to and a question to the mix are your children on top of everything eles highly intellegent?
     
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    mumtwo2 responded:
    Hi interesting how this thread has continued for 5 years! I noticed a change in my daughters temperament when she was four and we are still having problems now she is seven. I have done parenting courses, been to the doctors, spoken to the FLO at school and had an early help worker come in. I also regularly have counselling. Yet no matter how much I try to modify my behaviour, use incentivesetc.... I still can change my daughters. Her meltdowns are so intense that they leave me exhausted and the triggers are similar to those you have listed plus sometimes just purely because she has woken up! It would be lovely to start a day without hearing screaming. I'm a firm Mum, boundaries and consequences are in place and followed through but I have no idea what to do with her. And yes she can be the loveliest most caring girls in the world and I think she is quite intelligent. She seems to need constant attention, stimulation and reassurance. I'm very tired!
     
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    mumtwo2 replied to mom2orb's response:
    Yes I feel my daughter is very intelligent and craves knowledge.
     
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    smy92405 responded:
    Hi Moms,

    I just did a google search about my daughter's behavior because I am at a loss as to what to do!
    My daughter will be 8 in August. She is an amazing student and from what I know, never has problems in school other than the usual girl drama.
    When she comes home, she is controlling, emotional, nasty, fresh, and very hard to reason with. Anything can set her off. This morning it was because she wouldn't let her sister see what was in a bag she was donating. I tried to get her to let her sister hold the bag but she wouldn't let go. That turned into a screaming fit, me sending her to her room and her yelling how much she hates me, saying "No" when I told her to go up, and running away from me. This is day and night with her.
    In all honesty, I'm finding it hard to be around her. I feel like such a terrible mother and I'm having a really hard time wanting to even be around her. We definitely need some help here!
     
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    smy92405 replied to mumtwo2's response:
    Hi Moms, I found this article that is a different perspective. I'm going to give this a solid try before I seek professional help for me and my daughter:

    http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doctor-1/8-year-old-tantrums-is-this-normal


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