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    Teen daughter has me an emotional wreck
    avatar
    azmama82 posted:
    My daughter is 17, set to graduate in 3 months, has accepted one of a few college offers, takes honors classes & works up to 25hours per week. She's got a great head on her shoulders. She doesn't drink or do drugs, she hangs out with a good crowd, she is cautious and smart. Bought her own car too.
    Sounds pretty flipping awesome, right?

    Well, she flies off the handle and becomes abusive, verbally. I don't get it, I didn't treat her this way, her father & I don't treat each other this way.

    For instance, she lost something and asked if I knew where it was, I didn't hear her so she got loud & mean about it. Once I told her no, & asked her why she was behaving that way her answer was because I can't hear, slammed her door, called me a bit**. I told her to just stay in her room & I'm taking her car keys. This happens, A LOT. Whenever she gets frustrated she just completely loses it.

    I used to yell back. Now, I just refuse to engage, give her her discipline...and then I wind up crying hard & long. I almost would welcome the yelling so I could stop the crying! Emotionally, her calling me names really gets to me, it hurts me. I try hard not to let it show, yet still talk to her & say, "Listen, you can't treat me like this." She apologizes....and then it happens again when she's frustrated.

    I know she's outgrown us, it's time for her to move on & see the real world but we're going to have to find some peace because school doesn't start until September!
     
    avatar
    momuv4girls responded:
    Sounds like she has a difficult time regulating her emotions - they come on fast and strong.
    Children are "safest" at home with those they love, so it's easy to lash out at you. Your daughter knows if she talked to her friend or teacher that way, she'd have awful social embarrassment.

    I honestly believe she may need to do some soul searching as to why she can't control her lashing out at you. Maybe it's fear (of going off to college, fear of failure), possibly stress and/or depression. Your daughter probably doesn't even realize what is fueling her behavior .........
    Either which way, I think finding a really good therapist who can work through things would be greatly beneficial for her.

    Take care,
    Kathleen


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